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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

920 replies

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:39

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

OP posts:
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LambriniBobInIsleworthISeesYa · 13/06/2026 21:35

In the nicest possible way, that is cringe.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 13/06/2026 21:35

I’m sorry OP that’s bananas.

It’s his night. Let him enjoy it with his friends, and take a very far back seat.

Yetone · 13/06/2026 21:32

OP, even despite all of your updates you are still acting in a really weird way. To want to match your son is really not on. I can just imagine in years to come and your son has a serious girlfriend (or boyfriend) and this photo comes to light. You really are going to be one of those MILs.

elliejjtiny · 13/06/2026 21:28

I think it's lovely. I went to see my son arrive at his prom 4 years ago and took photos and a video of him on the red carpet and with his friends, lots of parents did that. It was really nice seeing them all arrive, some of them I had known since antenatal classes.

Oohanothername · 13/06/2026 21:22

My kids prom pictures are with their mates and boy/girlfriends. Your role is to take a couple of snaps, give him lifts and otherwise step away. Save the dress for his wedding

snowmichael · 13/06/2026 21:21

Is your son's name Howard?

UserNineNine · 13/06/2026 21:19

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 20:13

I'm also not sure what gave you and other posters the idea to state that it's disgusting/weird/incestuous to want to make an effort to have some nice photos taken with my child without taking the piss and ridiculing it like it's some cheap joke to be shared either. The Mumsnet bullying is really on full form

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I don’t think it’s strange to want to have some nice photos taken with your child.

But the night of his prom isn’t the right time. It’s his night to celebrate with his friends. You are inserting yourself into an occasion that isn’t yours by wearing an outfit that matches his.

If you want a family photo with coordinating outfits then do that on a different day.

Sarahw33 · 13/06/2026 21:13

What? Your poor son! I don’t recall having pics with my parents at my prom it was all about my friends and I. That’s so weird!

flagpolesitta · 13/06/2026 21:13

Weird sorry, can’t imagine how I’d have felt if my mum got an outfit matching my prom dress and wanted photos :/

Fleurdalys · 13/06/2026 21:09

How embarrassing for him 🤦‍♀️

Original poster
MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 21:08

Daygloboo · 13/06/2026 20:59

Excuse me but where in my post did I say anything like that. I said it was weird, and by weird I meant a coordinated purple outfit would look OTT and not appropriate . In my opinion, it would look odd. I didnt say anything about incest. I wasnt even thinking along those lines.

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I didn't say you did. You asked why I posted. I pointed out that was it fair for others to say stuff like that

OP posts:
Daygloboo · 13/06/2026 20:59

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 20:20

Whilst it's not everyone's idea of a good idea. Why not just say nooooo their teen wouldn't like it it's not something that they would personally do. is it really fair to go as far as saying I want to be my son's date/girlfriend etc?that is actually fucking sick. I asked if what my partner said was unnecessarily mean I didn't expect to be accused of wanting to commit incest with my own child!!!

Show quote history

Excuse me but where in my post did I say anything like that. I said it was weird, and by weird I meant a coordinated purple outfit would look OTT and not appropriate . In my opinion, it would look odd. I didnt say anything about incest. I wasnt even thinking along those lines.

AnneShirleyBlythe · 13/06/2026 20:32

All the prom photos I’ve seen with parents the parents are just in their normal clothes! On my DTs prom day I was too busy helping them get ready to bother about how I looked! Hope your son has a great night!

Tiggermad · 13/06/2026 20:25

Seems too much.
How does your son feel about this as mine would tell me a definite no !
It could be quite embarrassing.
i was happy to stay in the background.

Winkstink · 13/06/2026 20:22

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 20:20

Whilst it's not everyone's idea of a good idea. Why not just say nooooo their teen wouldn't like it it's not something that they would personally do. is it really fair to go as far as saying I want to be my son's date/girlfriend etc?that is actually fucking sick. I asked if what my partner said was unnecessarily mean I didn't expect to be accused of wanting to commit incest with my own child!!!

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If you feel “fucking sick” as I’m sure your DS would if he knew what you were on your
phone doing - then leave the thread. It really is that simple

Original poster
MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 20:20

Daygloboo · 13/06/2026 20:16

Well why did you ask then. It's not normal and you got people's opinion on that.

Show quote history

Whilst it's not everyone's idea of a good idea. Why not just say nooooo their teen wouldn't like it it's not something that they would personally do. is it really fair to go as far as saying I want to be my son's date/girlfriend etc?that is actually fucking sick. I asked if what my partner said was unnecessarily mean I didn't expect to be accused of wanting to commit incest with my own child!!!

OP posts:
Allonthesametrain · 13/06/2026 20:20

Goodness me, sorry but this is sooooo cringe to even think it!

ExOptimist · 13/06/2026 20:20

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 19:05

For one we're not in America so he won't have some huge graduation ceremony. He will have a leavers assembly once his exams are all finished and then his prom a few weeks later
I'm not attending any of them

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Well I'm not American either. I was talking about university graduation ceremonies, not school.

Winkstink · 13/06/2026 20:19

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 20:13

I'm also not sure what gave you and other posters the idea to state that it's disgusting/weird/incestuous to want to make an effort to have some nice photos taken with my child without taking the piss and ridiculing it like it's some cheap joke to be shared either. The Mumsnet bullying is really on full form

Show quote history

There was no need for you to start the thread as your friends, colleagues and son are all saying it’s 100% fine

but you have doggedly pursued it anyway

sucker for punishment

Winkstink · 13/06/2026 20:19

Daygloboo · 13/06/2026 20:16

Well why did you ask then. It's not normal and you got people's opinion on that.

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@MissRaspberryRipples has been asked this multiple times but ignored.

Attention seeking

Daygloboo · 13/06/2026 20:16

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 20:13

I'm also not sure what gave you and other posters the idea to state that it's disgusting/weird/incestuous to want to make an effort to have some nice photos taken with my child without taking the piss and ridiculing it like it's some cheap joke to be shared either. The Mumsnet bullying is really on full form

Show quote history

Well why did you ask then. It's not normal and you got people's opinion on that.

DavidStopActingLikeADisgruntledPelican · 13/06/2026 20:16

Umm you do you as long your son is fine with it but I personally wouldn’t and didn’t do that. I can’t even remember what I was wearing in my daughter’s prom photos (wasn’t in many at all as it was my daughter and her friends not their parents) but no one was dressed up unless they were going to the prom.

Original poster
MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 20:13

Daygloboo · 13/06/2026 20:07

With respect, this is a bit weird and you'll probably get laughed at and make things uncomfortable for your son. This really isnt what parents do at Proms and I'm.not sure what gave you the idea it is ok.

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I'm also not sure what gave you and other posters the idea to state that it's disgusting/weird/incestuous to want to make an effort to have some nice photos taken with my child without taking the piss and ridiculing it like it's some cheap joke to be shared either. The Mumsnet bullying is really on full form

OP posts:
Winkstink · 13/06/2026 20:11

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 19:50

I didn't state that my son is gay like you and others have insinuated on here I said he's not bothered about having a girlfriend - there's a difference. Just because he's not bothered now doesn't automatically mean he's interested in boys. He's actually more bothered about getting on in school and doing his exams rather than hanging around getting girlfriends all the time because he doesn't need a relationship status to define him and his personality

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but is your ds happy with you detailing his very outing prom outfit, the fact he is not interested in girls (and of course that doesn’t mean he’s gay but it’s his business who or what he’s interested in ) your plans for your outfit on his night?

midlifeattheoasis · 13/06/2026 20:11

Oh my god that is so bad. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to have my photo taken with either DS.