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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?

920 replies

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:39

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

OP posts:
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YerArseInParsley · 14/06/2026 18:33

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:39

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

You go to prom with your son?

Theresalittlebitofwitchinyou · 14/06/2026 18:31

I think it’s a bit weird yes but so what if he’s not bothered why shouldnt you do it? However entirely missing the point of your thread I love the steampunk purple jacket! It’s up our street I have one child with blue and black hair and one with <currently> pink hair while my own is currently bright purple!

ginasevern · 14/06/2026 18:29

Personally I wouldn't OP, and your son might not like to say "that's a bit much mum". I know mine wouldn't have wanted to upset me. As for the posters being so fucking nasty about a teenage boy's suit, I think it's great and they should be ashamed of themselves.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 14/06/2026 18:27

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 15:54

Why what's wrong with a purple dress honestly? May not be everyone's favourite colour

Show quote history

Missing the point of the thread but I love purple and would love a purple dress - though not these ones Mumsnet automatically populated the thread with 🤭 - see attached photo

AIBU to dress up to match my son for his prom?
Original poster
MissRaspberryRipples · 14/06/2026 18:25

Chelseaflowershowcrisis · 14/06/2026 18:20

Would you have liked your mum to have done the same to you?

You sound like one of those mums who'd turn up to her son's wedding in either a full white gown or a black dress complete with funeral hat and veil.

For one I didn't have a prom they didn't do them at my school when I was leaving, and to be honest I'd have liked a mum to be present and proud of her child at all

OP posts:
Hibernatingsloth · 14/06/2026 18:25

Oh OP, please don't do this, it's so cringy.
You're his mum, not his date, and matching outfits with your son "for a nice photo" will just look weird.

Bunny65 · 14/06/2026 18:24

If you're both happy with it then fine but it seems odd to dress up for something you're not even going to. I never even thought about taking photos with my sons before their proms, just pictures of them because they were the ones going. Graduations are a different story.

Original poster
MissRaspberryRipples · 14/06/2026 18:22

LarissatheDragon · 14/06/2026 18:02

If this whole thing is genuine then I say go for it, wear what you like. I love purple and don't actually give a fuck what anyone else thinks, I would definitely never post here for an opinion on that.

The jacket is very magician like, very flamboyant but having had kids graduate from US schools, I've seen worse.

Why are you not attending his graduation ceremony though? Regardless of your prom-photo-dress dilemma??

He's finishing high school he's 16 he isn't having a graduation we're in the UK. They're for university here mostly. He's finishing high school exams and has a leavers assembly with his friends on their last day then they have their prom in a few weeks. It is genuine yet I probably shouldn't have rushed to post with Mumsnets auto generated title

OP posts:
Noshowlomo · 14/06/2026 18:20

ICK

YowieeF · 14/06/2026 18:20

You sound like you have main character syndrome.
my ex wife tried something similar and it backfired and she looked ridiculous.

Chelseaflowershowcrisis · 14/06/2026 18:20

Would you have liked your mum to have done the same to you?

You sound like one of those mums who'd turn up to her son's wedding in either a full white gown or a black dress complete with funeral hat and veil.

Dweeb63 · 14/06/2026 18:20

Boy moms 👀

BrinkWomanship · 14/06/2026 18:18

His suit is amazing! He's going to look really cool. Good for him for not following the crowd.
I think some posters are being mean about him not being into girls, etc. He can fancy girls but not really be into them just yet. And that's fine; he's 16.
I'm torn on the purple clad pics at home. It's a bit try-hard but as it affects no one else in the world, you should both do whatever makes you happy.

I hope he has a great prom.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 14/06/2026 18:18

Wow. Just no.

SwatTheTwit · 14/06/2026 18:17

In this situation the obvious answer is to go with whatever your son thinks - it’s his prom.

AnneCh · 14/06/2026 18:13

I understand the appeal and would have loved to do that sort of thing but my two oldest sons (now 20 and 18) would NOT have appreciated this at all. This is about the kids growing up and moving away from their parents, much though it rips mommy hearts to shreds. But ass one comment said, your son might like the idea- could you ask him? Would he speak honestly or maybe say its a good idea to not hurt your feelings? Sometimes tricky to know! Good luck!

farmergirl15 · 14/06/2026 18:12

I’ve not read the full post. But you sound like you would wear a wedding dress to your son’s wedding.
by all means take lovely photos, but your partner is right, it’s not your night. It’s my son’s prom this year also and parents aren’t allowed past the dropping off area rightly so!

Stelladid · 14/06/2026 18:11

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:53

He thinks it's nice that I'm making an effort to look nice for a photo before he goes, I'm not showing up with him at his prom and it's not like I'll never wear the dress again either so it's not necessarily JUST for a photo

Show quote history

In that case, either he doesn’t yet know you have a matching outfit, or (I mean this kindly), you do indeed have an over-enmeshed relationship. That is not healthy going forward, so something to think about.

Topcooler · 14/06/2026 18:08

To be honest surely you would want your son to stand out in these photos and people comment on how dashing he looks as opposed to them looking and thinking why you are trying to steal his thunder. I just had jeans and a nice top on for my daughters pics. She looked stunning and I would never taken that away from her in photos or otherwise by dressing in such a fashion.

BeRarePlumCrab · 14/06/2026 18:07

Not all. Boy mum here, and my son is going to prom, yet im sat here cringing. Oh hell no!

Mayana1 · 14/06/2026 18:07

MissRaspberryRipples · 13/06/2026 14:39

Hi there. My son has his high school prom coming up next month as he's 16 and doing his GCSEs at the moment. He's chosen his outfit choices and I've purchased both suits that he liked so he has a choice. He's gone for purple suits which are lovely. I've also purchased myself a lovely purple dress and some nice shoes so that he can have some lovely mum and son photos taken on his special night. I showed them to my partner and all he has said is that they're nice and will look great but why am I making such an effort when it's not even my night? He says it's silly and isn't necessary. He thinks I'm overdoing it on the effort for a night that isn't for me. Is it really unreasonable to want to make the effort or is he just being unnecessarily mean

I would like to understand how proms goes here.
Are the parents attending too, or is it just for children? Back home parents and siblings (or whoever you want to invite depends of numbers of available tickets) are absolutely invited and you take photos too. So would like to understand what is waiting for me in about 10 years time. I am a boy's mom too.

Sheepsmellnice · 14/06/2026 18:07

Weird, the poor lad will be so embarrassed

LarissatheDragon · 14/06/2026 18:06

notacooldad · 14/06/2026 18:05

Why are you not attending his graduation ceremony though? Regardless of your prom-photo-dress dilemma??
He's not graduating. He is leaving secondary. The lad is just finishing his Gcse's and having his prom.

Edited

ah ok. thanks

Stelladid · 14/06/2026 18:06

Sorry to tell you, but I think it’s weird. As a pp said, it smacks of being over-enmeshed and a bit creepy. His photos should be with his mates and/ordate.

notacooldad · 14/06/2026 18:05

Why are you not attending his graduation ceremony though? Regardless of your prom-photo-dress dilemma??
He's not graduating. He is leaving secondary. The lad is just finishing his Gcse's and having his prom.