Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Told someone I was pregnant today…

232 replies

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 13:57

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦‍♀️

I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years.

AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

OP posts:
Original poster
BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 16:37

youalright · 13/06/2026 16:33

Totally of topic but is anyone else really fancying baked potato with beans, cheese and coleslaw for tea now or just me

It really is an underrated classic! And I never get to eat it because DH hates jacket potatoes so I save it for when he has to go out 😅

OP posts:
PS5Gamer · 13/06/2026 16:37

youalright · 13/06/2026 16:33

Totally of topic but is anyone else really fancying baked potato with beans, cheese and coleslaw for tea now or just me

Yes, me🤣👍

Original poster
BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 16:36

Booksandsea · 13/06/2026 16:18

I got asked that all the time!! Very strange question to ask someone; but I think people just don’t really know what to say, so say anything!

  • When are you due?
  • Do you know the sex? Are you going to find out?
  • Are you excited?

ANYTHING

DH’s dad asked him if it was his when he told him…a joke apparently

OP posts:
Beryl23 · 13/06/2026 16:35

I had this! Same as a lot of people on here… 33 years old, in a long term relationship, in a well paying job, homeowner etc. They soon stopped talking and looked like they wanted to run away when I said ‘well seen as we had to have fertility treatment to conceive, I would say it was very much planned’. People really do say the silliest things!

someonethatyoulovetoomuch · 13/06/2026 16:35

To be fair, I am 38, married, professional job, own home etc and have two kids now expecting my third and it absolutely was not planned, this babe is a delightful accident but an accident nonetheless. Quite a few people both at work and socially have asked if it was planned, because they mostly knew I was quite happy with the two I’ve got. I don’t find it offensive and it’s been quite nice to be able to be honest about what a massive adjustment unexpectedly becoming a family of 5 has been for me mentally. Unplanned doesn’t always mean unwanted, being married etc doesn’t always mean it’s a planned pregnancy, asking isn’t necessarily a negative thing.

youalright · 13/06/2026 16:33

Totally of topic but is anyone else really fancying baked potato with beans, cheese and coleslaw for tea now or just me

youalright · 13/06/2026 16:32

sanityisamyth · 13/06/2026 16:31

Nope. 30?!

Show quote history

What and your family thought you where a virgin.

sanityisamyth · 13/06/2026 16:31

youalright · 13/06/2026 14:52

Was you a teen mum

Show quote history

Nope. 30?!

Gardenisablooming · 13/06/2026 16:29

You tell them he tripped on a rug and his penis just fell in and ejaculated..
Stare them eye to eye when you say this.

WonderingWanda · 13/06/2026 16:28

Congratulations @BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw I hope you are feeling well! Ignore people's stupid comments, there willbe many more of them to come!

Beavis8 · 13/06/2026 16:28

People are so fucking weird. Congrats op xxx

CoolNoMore · 13/06/2026 16:21

My Mum has form for saying exactly what she's thinking. With my first I got "oooh... it's a bit early" (I had been trying for 9 months so wanted to tell her as soon as I got a positive test... my mistake!)

With my second she was pleased, although she did want to know when he was conceived.

With my third, I got a shocked silence, followed by "a little whoopsie, is it?"

youalright · 13/06/2026 16:18

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 15:00

She’s not a close friend - I wouldn’t have told her if I weren’t keeping it!

Show quote history

Its not about keeping the baby or not its a yeah we've been trying for months and it finally happened = that's great I'm so happy for you compared to it was definitely a suprise = it will be ok it was obviously meant to be, one of mine wasn't planned but he's the greatest gift.

Booksandsea · 13/06/2026 16:18

I got asked that all the time!! Very strange question to ask someone; but I think people just don’t really know what to say, so say anything!

MarxistMags · 13/06/2026 16:14

Clearly she was going doo-lally .
When my SIL told my Mum she was pregnant my Mum said "how did that happen" ? 🤣

giemepeace · 13/06/2026 16:13

Oh, I see I am not the only one!!!

giemepeace · 13/06/2026 16:13

I see your ‘was it planned’ and raise you:

DH told a family friend and she immediately asked him ‘is it yours?’…

Addictedtoharibobutthestrawbssuck · 13/06/2026 16:12

cuckoolodger · 13/06/2026 14:10

My mother in law said” oh, do you know who’s the dad?….. I had been married to her son for 4 years!

Ffs I am angry on your behalf!! I hope you gave her what for!

icannotlivelaughloveintheseconditions · 13/06/2026 16:12

My mil said oh no was it an accident ? We had been together 7 years and in our mid thirties. She later said she assumed we weren’t having any because we had left it so long( busy saving and buying a house)

SnugglyJumpersMakeItBetter · 13/06/2026 16:11

When my mum broke the news to HER mother that she was expecting, she got a shocked 'What am I going to tell my friends?!' in reply.

Mum was 30 and had been married for 4 years...

Bumbers · 13/06/2026 16:10

i had the same! Married. Own home. Stable jobs. It was so weird!!

Grammarnut · 13/06/2026 16:09

cuckoolodger · 13/06/2026 14:10

My mother in law said” oh, do you know who’s the dad?….. I had been married to her son for 4 years!

Does your MiL not like you? What a weird thing to say - not to mention insulting and possibly slander...

mixedpeel · 13/06/2026 16:09

Told my mum: <long pause> “oh, I don’t feel ready to be a grandmother”

(I was 29)

Told my best friend and got the “was it planned?” mentioned by PP.

It was such a relief when I told my neighbour who beamed and said “congratulations.”

Dollymylove · 13/06/2026 16:06

MoleskineNotebooks · 13/06/2026 14:10

I had someone ask the same, and I was 39, with my DH since my teens, a homeowner and a fairly senior professional. I pointed out that if it had been unplanned I’d be having a termination, not making pregnancy announcements and that in neither case would it be any of her business.

Unplanned doesnt necessarily mean unwanted

Kevinbaconsrealwife · 13/06/2026 16:05

PostPartumHealing · 13/06/2026 14:23

Tell them you slipped and fell on a raw one

😂