Told someone I was pregnant today…

It does seem odd, I think some people just don't know what to say in some scenarios and their usual social filters turn off and they say something weird/not socially appropriate!

Some possible reasons they might have asked (some of which have been mentioned already) other than just not knowing quite what to say:

1. The tone/expression used when you told them, maybe it wasn't one of clear excitement!
2. If you have never shown any previous interest in or mentioned plans to have a baby, they may have assumed it wasn't on your agenda.
3. Have you mentioned any relationship issues you and DH have had to this person? If so, that might have influenced their reaction.
4. Awful suggestion and I'm shocked at myself for even thinking it (obvs been reading too much MN), but is this person having an affair with your DH or do they know someone who is?! If so, they'd surely be surprised to hear your pregnancy news!

Also, respectfully you are being ridiculous…2-3 missed payments from a repossession…NO! You wouldn’t even end up having it sent to court until after 6 months, you’d be unlucky to be out within 12 months as long as you communicated with the mortgage provider

@scoopsahoooy despite being married and a proper adult

What exactly constitutes a "proper adult"? Because I'm not sure how being married renders you superior or more "proper" than people who are not married or who are single.

So by this logic, married couples, living in social housing with lifetime tenancies aren’t financially stable enough to plan children?
Well why are they in social housing...?
What about people just renting who can be kicked out with a little bit of notice? What about people who live with their parents or PILs and have kids?

I’d argue that the roof over their heads is far more secure; given that living in a house with a mortgage, you’re only ever 2/3 payments away from repossession!
I'm in Ireland where it is EXTREMELY difficult for a bank to repossess your primary residence with kids involved.

Plenty of people also own homes outright with no mortgage.

Well done on turning a light hearted thread into a battle ground though (and somehow only calling me out as opposed to the OP who originally mentioned it). 🙄

Omfg…nobody said anything about social housing at all, are you really unable to understand why committing to buy a property with someone as a mutual investment is a sign of the stability of a relationship?

nobody has said that a person in social housing can’t have children, or that they are in any way less committed or adept at it.

What is being said here is that it is odd for someone to question whether a baby is an accident or unwanted when someone has already committed to buying a home with their partner. The next logical step is that they have a baby, they didn’t just accidentally fall pregnant when shagging their friends with benefits or someone they’ve known for 6 weeks.

You know how it is brilliant if you have 2000 pounds in the bank, that doesn’t mean that it is bad if you have 1000 in the bank. Both things can be good, owning a home can be good, but that doesn’t mean that renting a home is bad ffs 🤦‍♀️

I don’t believe for one second that you are this obtuse, you have to be being awkward on purpose. Take a day off

I had a conversation with a woman at work and she asked sensitively what the circumstances were. I was 6 weeks and struggling with hyperemesis. She was asking as she has had experience, and spoken about, her unplanned pregnancy, her miscarriages and struggling to conceive one of her children. She was wanting to tailor the support based on what it was that I needed.

I think some times it's a lazy question asked when not sure what else to say. My friend is in a same sex relationship and went through a clinic to conceive which was on her notes and still had a medical professional ask them during an appointment whether it was a planned pregnancy

I had a hr manager ask me if “it was an accident”. Yes, I tripped and fell on a penis.

Honestly.

Your maternity leave can be back to back jacket potatoes for lunch.

Im not sure if I'm more envious of your pregnancy or your ability to eat jacket potatoes! 🤔

I B was asked if dh and I had been “trying for twins”… 15 years later I’m still bamboozled.

What ????😂😂😂

Abso bloody lutely! But sadly due to a health condition I can no longer eat them or I would be for sure.

I can't quite decide between a half hearted we're not sure, or the milkman. 🤣

I remember someone I worked with announcing their very much wanted pregnancy. She was early 20s as was her husband, been together years and married for 1/2 years and one girl said “ OMG….what did your mum say??”

Like she was a teenager 😂

So by this logic, married couples who’re living in social housing with lifetime tenancies aren’t financially stable enough to plan children? I’d argue that the roof over their heads is far more secure; given that living in a house with a mortgage, you’re only ever 2/3 payments away from repossession!
Yes, home ownership is a smart investment of course, but unless your mortgage is paid off, it’s certainly not more ‘stable’ than a lifetime tenancy…

First baby, miscarried at 7 weeks. Married for a year, 33. I thought I should see the GP to make sure it was recorded in my notes and ask advice about trying again, gap, etc. Also I was pretty upset.

She was in her late 50s, didn't bother to look up and just spat out in a clipped way "and did you want it?" I left with my dignity but had to ring DH to come and collect me because I broke down in floods of tears on the way home.

I wish I'd had the presence of mind to say, "nah, I went clubbing and got knocked up, but have a look at the notes and you'll see I got married last year, am in my 30s and came off oral contraception three months ago". Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I concluded it was probably easier at that practice to get an abortion than be referred for maternity care, which they ballsed up the next two times.

In what way?!? So those living in long term rented or social housing can’t plan to have children then?

Being married is a sign of being in a long term, committed relationship, not your method of obtaining housing!

Why not ask the OP who originally said this and I imitated her wording...

Also, personally I think it has a massive effect because of a little thing called financial stability and security.

It’s indicating a stable committed relationship

@RumPidgeonI just love that you’ve declared yourself to be middle class! 😆 That’s hilarious

I can't believe you married someone who can't appreciate a good jacket potato 🤣🤣

I asked someone this once, I could tell from her reaction I shouldn’t have.

I had an unplanned pregnancy when I was 30 yet my pregnancy at 16 was planned. People should never just assume whether a pregnancy is planned just because of age and situation

What does owning your home have to do with pregnancy?!?! What a strange piece of irrelevant context