Page 4 | Told someone I was pregnant today…

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 2026-06-13T12:57:16+00:00

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦♀️ I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years. AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

MoleskineNotebooks · 13/06/2026 19:32

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:08

But why i don't think either choice is a bad thing so I don't see the problem with asking. Is saying have you decided what you want to do a better way of wording it?

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You must really struggle with human relationships.

AnswerIsNo · 13/06/2026 19:20

Mabiscuit · 13/06/2026 14:36

I was married for 6 months and my micro manager asked if it was wanted when I disclosed my pregnancy. I imagine my face didn't convey extreme happiness as I had been dreading telling him.

what is it with these people?

in his mind, he was playing the ultimate advisor and paternal guidance expert, who everyone waited on with baited breath to hear his latest TEDx pearls of wisdom

when in in fact, he was a boundary-crossing tool with the awareness of a mouldy chicken paste and cucumber sarnie

youalright · 13/06/2026 19:11

Beavis8 · 13/06/2026 19:01

Same. It's a fucking ridiculous question to ask. Suggests lack of intelligence tbh

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I totally agree some people have no class

Beavis8 · 13/06/2026 19:01

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 18:59

They've antagonised me and my pregnancy days are well behind me!
If anyone had asked me that when I told them I was pregnant they would have been told to f* off and never spoken to again

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Same. It's a fucking ridiculous question to ask. Suggests lack of intelligence tbh

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 18:59

Beavis8 · 13/06/2026 18:58

The poster seriously lacks social skills or is purposefully trying to antagonise people.

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They've antagonised me and my pregnancy days are well behind me!
If anyone had asked me that when I told them I was pregnant they would have been told to f* off and never spoken to again

TheBlueKoala · 13/06/2026 18:59

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 18:51

But why would it be any of anyone else’s business?

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Ofcourse it's obvious you will keep it if you're talking about it so I don't really see the harm in the question 🤷‍♀️ People don't really care that much so it's just a mundane question in my book. Some people plan and some have surprises- that's life.

Beavis8 · 13/06/2026 18:58

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 18:54

Why is it your business?
If they are happily announding a pregnancy they are not considering an abortion

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The poster seriously lacks social skills or is purposefully trying to antagonise people.

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 18:54

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:08

But why i don't think either choice is a bad thing so I don't see the problem with asking. Is saying have you decided what you want to do a better way of wording it?

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Why is it your business?
If they are happily announding a pregnancy they are not considering an abortion

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 18:51

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:18

It means are you keeping it, are you having an abortion or are you placing them for adoption. Someone asking what their plans are is not suggesting abortion. You sound like one of those people who is to scared to ask someone if their suicidal as you think it will make them suddenly think to do it

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The question 'are you keeping it' suggests to everyone, except you, that you are suggesting they shouldn't and they should have an abortion - otherwise it is the most bizarre question to ask - surpassed only by asking someone who gives a happy update about their life if they're going to kill themself
I don't think asking someone if they are keeping it will make them question whether they should in fact have an abortion - just question you and what is wrong with you to say something so nasty, rather than congratulations

Original poster

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 18:51

Flamingojune · 13/06/2026 18:14

But you can equally decide to go through with an accidental pregnancy. Not all my kids were planned

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But why would it be any of anyone else’s business?

OP posts:

ballstomonty · 13/06/2026 18:46

I think people say it without thinkimg. I know a lesbian couple who were asked this question! Yes it was VERY planned!

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:44

BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 18:34

If my family or friends indicated that they may be in need of support, or gave me the information themselves. I certainly would never dream of asking ANYONE if they are keeping their pregnancy. I genuinely find it very strange to even contemplate asking that.

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I don't. I think its a really normal question unless they had mentioned before that they are thinking of having a baby. Which most of my family and friends did

BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 18:34

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:20

Because these are the sort of conversations you have with family or friends who may need support

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If my family or friends indicated that they may be in need of support, or gave me the information themselves. I certainly would never dream of asking ANYONE if they are keeping their pregnancy. I genuinely find it very strange to even contemplate asking that.

shhblackbag · 13/06/2026 18:23

shuggles · 13/06/2026 17:04

@scoopsahoooy despite being married and a proper adult

What exactly constitutes a "proper adult"? Because I'm not sure how being married renders you superior or more "proper" than people who are not married or who are single.

Oh, try being single by choice. A lot of people don't view you as a "proper adult".

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:20

BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 18:17

Neither choice is s bad thing... but why is it necessary to ask? It's nobody's business. I would think it a very obscure question to ask anyone.

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Because these are the sort of conversations you have with family or friends who may need support

CaffeinatedMum · 13/06/2026 18:19

My MIL said ‘oh what are you going to do?’

She did ring later to apologise.

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:18

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 18:15

The person questionning if they are 'keeping it' - what else does that mean?

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It means are you keeping it, are you having an abortion or are you placing them for adoption. Someone asking what their plans are is not suggesting abortion. You sound like one of those people who is to scared to ask someone if their suicidal as you think it will make them suddenly think to do it

BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 18:17

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:08

But why i don't think either choice is a bad thing so I don't see the problem with asking. Is saying have you decided what you want to do a better way of wording it?

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Neither choice is s bad thing... but why is it necessary to ask? It's nobody's business. I would think it a very obscure question to ask anyone.

Yoghurti · 13/06/2026 18:15

You should have said no, I got carried away with the milkman, and ask them not to say anything.

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 18:15

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:06

Who's suggesting an abortion.?

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The person questionning if they are 'keeping it' - what else does that mean?

Flamingojune · 13/06/2026 18:14

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 18:11

Because by the time you have got to the point of telling people outside of maybe a very close and trusted friend or relative, you have decided to go through with the pregnancy.

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But you can equally decide to go through with an accidental pregnancy. Not all my kids were planned

Original poster

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 18:11

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:08

But why i don't think either choice is a bad thing so I don't see the problem with asking. Is saying have you decided what you want to do a better way of wording it?

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Because by the time you have got to the point of telling people outside of maybe a very close and trusted friend or relative, you have decided to go through with the pregnancy.

OP posts:

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:09

GuYou · 13/06/2026 17:43

There’d be about 3 kids in DD’s year 1 class of 30 if that was the case 😂 It’s pretty common where I live.

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🤣🤣🤣 i always forget thats the norm in some places. Round here people would assume you're dropping your grandkid off

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:08

BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 17:44

Surely it's not generally polite to ask someone if they are keeping their pregnancy?

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But why i don't think either choice is a bad thing so I don't see the problem with asking. Is saying have you decided what you want to do a better way of wording it?

youalright · 13/06/2026 18:06

jdb9803 · 13/06/2026 17:53

You can't think of anything wrong with suggesting an abortion when someone happily announces their pregnancy!!

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Who's suggesting an abortion.?