Told someone I was pregnant today…

sofaprincess · 15/06/2026 20:12

Oh OP, I’ve asked the same before and was mortified after! I don’t know why it came out of my mouth - the only thing I can think of is that we were both young Mums, but this was nearly 20 years later!

abbynabby23 · 15/06/2026 00:06

Yoghurti · 14/06/2026 23:46

I’m always surprised by the number of people who ask if we’re having any more (we have one DD). It doesn’t offend or upset me and I just say “no, one’s enough!” - but we did want and were pregnant with a second but miscarried. We then had difficulty conceiving. I’m surprised it doesn’t cross people’s mind that there might be that kind of reason for having one child.

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I know it’s crazy! I have two boys and a girl (last one). The amount of people that came up to me and said “finally you got your girl” it’s crazy! And my response is always “such a disappointment, I wanted a 3rd boy” 😂 I love seeing people’s faces when I say that. Like leave people alone on when and how many kids they ll have

Yoghurti · 14/06/2026 23:46

abbynabby23 · 14/06/2026 22:11

Wait until everyone has an opinion on the gender and the number of your kids 😂 People say lots of things!

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I’m always surprised by the number of people who ask if we’re having any more (we have one DD). It doesn’t offend or upset me and I just say “no, one’s enough!” - but we did want and were pregnant with a second but miscarried. We then had difficulty conceiving. I’m surprised it doesn’t cross people’s mind that there might be that kind of reason for having one child.

KidsWhoControl · 14/06/2026 22:11

I announced my very much wanted first pregnancy to my team at work, and told them when I was due. One young chap went quiet for a while, like he was thinking hard. Then announced loudly, “oh so you must have conceived on (such and such a date)!”

I had no idea what to say - especially as we were at it fairly regularly so I didn’t really know myself! Thanked him for working it out for me. He seemed very pleased with himself 🤷‍♀️

abbynabby23 · 14/06/2026 22:11

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 13:57

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦‍♀️

I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years.

AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

Wait until everyone has an opinion on the gender and the number of your kids 😂 People say lots of things!

Askingforafriendtoday · 14/06/2026 21:57

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/06/2026 21:37

Close friends and family yes - but this is the partner of a relative of my DHs who I have a cordial relationship with. I would not be announcing my pregnancy to her under any other circumstances

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Well, it's lovely that you're happy to be pregnant, wishing you all the best. In your op you just said 'someone' so all possibilities re the response are open

Original poster

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/06/2026 21:37

Askingforafriendtoday · 14/06/2026 20:33

If you were worried, confused, distrsaught you may well be telling people. Seeking advice, comfort...whatever

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Close friends and family yes - but this is the partner of a relative of my DHs who I have a cordial relationship with. I would not be announcing my pregnancy to her under any other circumstances

OP posts:

PrayForPlagues · 14/06/2026 21:06

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 14/06/2026 21:00

I think that would shut anybody up tbh.
Not a great expression too much information.

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Yes, that’s the point though, isn’t it? If you ask personal & inappropriate questions then don’t be surprised by the answers.

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 14/06/2026 21:00

PrayForPlagues · 13/06/2026 14:10

“Yes, we’ve been going bareback for a while now”

That soon shuts them up

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I think that would shut anybody up tbh.
Not a great expression too much information.

neversaynever108262 · 14/06/2026 20:39

😂😂😂😂 same thing happened to me. I remember telling my colleagues when I was about 16 weeks and one looked at me and said "was it planned?". I had just got married 6 months previously.... you have to laugh

Askingforafriendtoday · 14/06/2026 20:33

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/06/2026 20:15

But you wouldn’t be telling people if you hadn’t come to the conclusion that you wanted to have the baby and therefore it is irrelevant whether or not it was officially “planned” because it’s being presented to you as a cause for celebration

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If you were worried, confused, distrsaught you may well be telling people. Seeking advice, comfort...whatever

motheroftwonotsolittleones · 14/06/2026 20:31

I found out I was pregnant at 18 whilst in 6th form. I went to tell the head of 6th form and she said 'congratulations was it planned?' Ah yeah I was just getting ready to go to uni now Im going to change nappies whilst I do it! (Still went to uni 2 1/2 months after giving birth).

PliuD · 14/06/2026 20:22

When I told someone I was pregnant she said 'Oh God! I'd cut my throat if I was you'. Granted I was 42 but it seemed quite a negative response.

beeble347 · 14/06/2026 20:16

Askingforafriendtoday · 14/06/2026 20:05

Exactly this! A perfectly reasonable, sensitive response imo. Many assumptions on here by pp assuming that a married woman in a good job with a partner must be in want of a child...to paraphrase Jane Austen

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I haven't seen those posts tbf but I don't think it's that every married home-owning woman must want to have a baby, it's more that you're not a teen mum in a vulnerable situation so is it such a shocker?

Original poster

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/06/2026 20:15

Askingforafriendtoday · 14/06/2026 20:05

Exactly this! A perfectly reasonable, sensitive response imo. Many assumptions on here by pp assuming that a married woman in a good job with a partner must be in want of a child...to paraphrase Jane Austen

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But you wouldn’t be telling people if you hadn’t come to the conclusion that you wanted to have the baby and therefore it is irrelevant whether or not it was officially “planned” because it’s being presented to you as a cause for celebration

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BinNightTonight · 14/06/2026 20:14

cuckoolodger · 13/06/2026 14:10

My mother in law said” oh, do you know who’s the dad?….. I had been married to her son for 4 years!

Omg!!!

beeble347 · 14/06/2026 20:14

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/06/2026 20:13

I think a 14 year old can be forgiven for that - my 32 year old friend to our other friend less so! I think the conversation went something like this:

Me: How far along is [friend’s wife] now?
About 24 weeks
Me: oh that’s a big milestone! (Meaning viability)
Other friend: oh shit yeah you have to go through with it now don’t you? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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Omg!

Original poster

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 14/06/2026 20:13

beeble347 · 14/06/2026 19:52

My best friend asked me the same thing when I told her 😂 I was 31, married almost a year, homeowner. It wasn't about that, it was because she was so surprised that I hadn't told her that we were trying and I hadn't mentioned anything about seeming keen to conceive when we got married. Funny though!

The worst comment I had (but also not said with any bad intention) was from one of my students, year 9. She asked how many months pregnant I was, I said hmm I'm 21 weeks so about five months. She said "hmm so it's too late for you to get an abortion then...?"

Bless her the class rounded on her asking what she meant, she was going "no miss I didn't mean it like that!" Turned out they'd just been learning about abortion in R.E. and what the legal cut off is. I just explained it to her 😂 no harm done, she was learning!

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I think a 14 year old can be forgiven for that - my 32 year old friend to our other friend less so! I think the conversation went something like this:

Me: How far along is [friend’s wife] now?
About 24 weeks
Me: oh that’s a big milestone! (Meaning viability)
Other friend: oh shit yeah you have to go through with it now don’t you? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

OP posts:

Askingforafriendtoday · 14/06/2026 20:05

youalright · 13/06/2026 14:27

I don't see anything wrong with this its just figuring out whether it's something to celebrate or to reassure you about

Exactly this! A perfectly reasonable, sensitive response imo. Many assumptions on here by pp assuming that a married woman in a good job with a partner must be in want of a child...to paraphrase Jane Austen

beeble347 · 14/06/2026 19:52

BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw · 13/06/2026 13:57

…and they asked if it was planned! 🤦‍♀️

I’m 33, own my own home, and have been married for over two years.

AIBU to think this was a bit of an odd response?!

My best friend asked me the same thing when I told her 😂 I was 31, married almost a year, homeowner. It wasn't about that, it was because she was so surprised that I hadn't told her that we were trying and I hadn't mentioned anything about seeming keen to conceive when we got married. Funny though!

The worst comment I had (but also not said with any bad intention) was from one of my students, year 9. She asked how many months pregnant I was, I said hmm I'm 21 weeks so about five months. She said "hmm so it's too late for you to get an abortion then...?"

Bless her the class rounded on her asking what she meant, she was going "no miss I didn't mean it like that!" Turned out they'd just been learning about abortion in R.E. and what the legal cut off is. I just explained it to her 😂 no harm done, she was learning!

elledee412 · 14/06/2026 19:46

This is how my FIL reacted when we told him… I was 31, my husband 35, married 5 years and together 10, own a house, etc. I was mad at him my entire pregnancy, and tbh I still get annoyed when I think about it.

Summerhut2025 · 14/06/2026 19:42

cuckoolodger · 13/06/2026 14:10

My mother in law said” oh, do you know who’s the dad?….. I had been married to her son for 4 years!

Omg 😧 hilarious, what on earth did you both say?

LassitersLegend · 14/06/2026 19:27

I'd presume they were trying to say you were too old, which you're not and if have been annoyed. I had my first at 34 and second at 38, so I had a few comments.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Pansykavalier · 14/06/2026 18:45

MsGreying · 13/06/2026 14:15

We have a winner!

FFS! You poor soul.

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I assumed it was a (poor taste) joke…

HappiestSleeping · 14/06/2026 18:44

cuckoolodger · 13/06/2026 14:10

My mother in law said” oh, do you know who’s the dad?….. I had been married to her son for 4 years!

Please bring back the laughing emoji. Not at the poster, but at the proposterousness of the post content.

OMG @cuckoolodger - what did you say? I would imagine you were speechless. If ever there was a WTAF moment, this is a dictionary definition.