AIBU to resent my FIL visiting for lunch every Sunday?

Slightly sanctimonious here - I know it is because it is the sort of thing I would say. You aren't putting up with FiL or trying to do one and a half jobs and run a house. OTOH he is 88 (and sexist etc which has nothing to do with age or class btw - plenty of young upper-class racists, just go and watch a pro-Hamas march!) and may not have very long to have Sunday lunch with his son. Does the other brother/sister live a long way away, I wonder, or harbour resentment over being abandoned and not want to see aged Pa very often, so these Sundays are his life-line? Bear in mind that he might not speak to anyone all week - even shop assistants are now talking to someone else in the shop on a headset while they serve you (which I find downright rude).

Thats because its your house I assume op shares a house with her dp so its their house which means he has equal say in who is welcome in it.

As awful as he sounds, yabu kindly

Hes old and lonely and youre his family

Sorry x

I had strict rules on expressing racist, sexist, or homophobic ideas in front of my child when she was little. I expected my father to behave and told him so very directly.

now that she is almost an adult, things slip out, but her values are firmly cemented and she can argue back herself.

So if it were me, I would start by talking to your husband about some rules for what conversations you want taking place in the presence of young, impressionable children. He may decide the easiest way to corral his father is to switch to a pub lunch.

I think you missed the bit about the FIL's personality? I too used to go see FIL a few times a week, my partner would go too on other days so he had lots of company. But he was nice. It was pleasant being with him.

Reap what you sow?

Yes, you are a bit! When do you ever do anything... nice?! Do you never have a day out as a family? What do you do that doesn't involve paid work or housework? Why doesn't your husband do some of these jobs rather than you doing everything in your very limited free time?

This. Who cares if he’s 88. Is that a pass to be such a vile human. Just ignore him if he comes op. Go do your reset and get your dh to clean the toilet. Maybe then he will really understand

So it’s a DH problem, not a FIL one.
If you want some respite (EVERY Sunday does feel a bit much) just ask your DH to visit or take him for a pub lunch or something.

So he was born in 1938 and was 20 in 1958 - his experience of married life would include an expectation for the wife to cook. Rightly or wrongly it would have been the expectation of virtually everyone at that time. My dad is also 88 and when first married came home at lunchtime from work expecting a meal as well as tea time. He does now do most of the cooking as mum has Alzheimer’s so people can obviously change. I think because you mentioned Sunday lunch people were imagining a full on Sunday roast, cheese on toast or scrambled egg is a lot less of an imposition. The toliet thing is often also part and parcel of being elderly, my dad has prostrate trouble (same as most men over 80), his flow is, well, somewhat unpredictable and he certainly couldn’t get down on the floor to clean up even if he was aware it needed it. Maybe if you did as others have suggested and have one Sunday a month off and one Sunday eating out, it might make you feel it was less of an imposition.

If you're just doing chores all day, surely you can sit and eat your cheese toast which will take all of 5 minutes then get on with your chores and leave your DH to hang out with his father?

I wouldn’t tolerate the bigotry from him.

yanbu op. Every single week on your only day off is
clearly too much.

You need to alternate some weeks
Get DH to go to his
Go out for lunch
You go out as a family and tell him ‘not this week’ (it is a bit odd you never ever do anything at the weekend)

Then he still comes over every few weeks. He’s 88 so is not going to be forever, but equally could be a few more years of you never having a Sunday to yourself!

Oh, Good For You.

Now what the fuck does your relationship with your FIL have to do with OP's situation???

Another bloody Pollyanna, virtue signalling for all she's worth 🙄

He does. How many times does it have to be said?

Where's your line for unacceptable behaviour?

YANBU. Every week? That's crazy.
Get him to come over when you're working. Speak to your DH and tell him you need the house to yourself.

Yes. It would be foolish to risk him amending his Will which is presumably currently in DH's favour.

Why can’t your husband take him out for lunch out of the house instead ?

You should probably have tried to build boundaries, as they say, before, and you and your husband could have tried to make him a better person, not your job, but as you say, people are products of their environment. But now, as you say, he's unlikely to have much time left, and you've tolerated it this lomg, so seems mean to suddenly end it, so maybe just encourage your husband to do half the prep for him coming, and challenge any phobic talk especially if you have kids.

If you work on Saturdays, get DH to invite FIL over on Saturday and say you’re busy on Sunday.

FIL gets to visit, DH has to cook and clear up the piss after he leaves and you don’t have to see him; everyone wins!

Why does this beastly vile cunt of a man get preferential treatment over the son's own WIFE?

I loved my dad but i wouldn't have wanted the same commitment week after week , it's not unreasonable to want a bit of peace and your own space after working all week.

Take yourself out for lunch with a friend and let them enjoy father-son time.

Nope. A proudly misogynist racist sexist homophobe doesn't deserve any pity.

Perhaps he could come round to yours?