AIBU to resent my FIL visiting for lunch every Sunday?

Like I said read the thread.

Nonsense. Men can't get pregnant..

What do you mean no you have no idea what the world will be like in 40 years. Think pregnant men, people dressed up and living as animals, think ai taking over the world, people living as thruples, new versions of parenting. This may all be the norm in 40 years time plus much more that we haven't thought about and your going to agree with the new world because people who haven't even been born yet tell you to and your rude and should be banned from seeing your kids and grandkids if you don't. Or maybe we will all be living under sharia law who knows. But you won't be allowed an opinion.

What do you mean no you have no idea what the world will be like in 40 years. Think pregnant men, people dressed up and living as animals, think ai taking over the world, people living as thruples, new versions of parenting. This may all be the norm in 40 years time plus much more that we haven't thought about and your going to agree with the new world because people who haven't even been born yet tell you to and your rude and should be banned from seeing your kids and grandkids if you don't. Or maybe we will all be living under sharia law who knows. But you won't be allowed an opinion.

No.

Read the thread and the examples people have given.

When you're 88 the world will be a very different place and there will be things you believe in now that will be completely unacceptable in 30/40 years time i hope your family are alot more accepting then you are

Yes. If you are 88 then racism, sexism and misogyny is acceptable. You are so right and clever.

Only less than 2 hours then!! He's your Fil, it's not that long, suck it up.

Remember you'll be 88 one day maybe. Think about it.
Post dosent make sense anyway. He phones half an hour before DH always agrees . Surely you'd need to know if you were having a roast dinner in advance.

Every child in the world knows old people are generally out of touch.

Children need to hear unpleasant things and hear others push back on them.

😭😭 hes old and is her relative

Racist old relatives are a part of life, you just tell the kids to ignore him

Well yeah, it’s his age. Older people need more support and I know from experience how important routines and keeping connected to family are for those who are 88.

The needs of a 90 year old are different to the needs of a 60 year old. But you should already know this.

I also know from experience that getting down and scrubbing the bathroom floor is not the easiest task for a 90 year old, even if they still have all their faculties. And that men that age do dribble. The OP’s husband should be sorting that out. But again, where’s the empathy? The OP made it sound like there was shit up the walls and dysentery everywhere when she first mentioned cleaning the bathroom.

I have already mentioned his treatment of his first wife. And the OP hasn’t mentioned any examples of homophobia so this could mean anything. Again, I wouldn’t expect a man of his age to be particularly enlightened.

One hour once per week is very little time to be spent with a very elderly parent. I know working women who spend more than that amount of time every day with their parents who are younger! No one expects the OP to like it but I can’t see how anyone thinks this is a wholly unacceptable situation.

Kids need to learn that some people spout shit. Tbf idealistic teens spout a whole load.

The issue is that the OP is feeling she has to entertain them. If my in laws come round that’s the expectation on me. If me dad and uncle come round they don’t expect dh’s undivided attention otoh.

My thoughts exactly.
Could you sometimes take him out to a pub, garden centre cafe or restaurant instead of you always having to cater for him.

So he was born in 1938 and was 20 in 1958 - his experience of married life would include an expectation for the wife to cook. Rightly or wrongly it would have been the expectation of virtually everyone at that time. My dad is also 88 and when first married came home at lunchtime from work expecting a meal as well as tea time. He does now do most of the cooking as mum has Alzheimer’s so people can obviously change. I think because you mentioned Sunday lunch people were imagining a full on Sunday roast, cheese on toast or scrambled egg is a lot less of an imposition. The toliet thing is often also part and parcel of being elderly, my dad has prostrate trouble (same as most men over 80), his flow is, well, somewhat unpredictable and he certainly couldn’t get down on the floor to clean up even if he was aware it needed it. Maybe if you did as others have suggested and have one Sunday a month off and one Sunday eating out, it might make you feel it was less of an imposition.

With three small children, I still don't get why you never have plans and can accommodate this every week, don't you ever go anywhere?

Acknowledging that people generally require more support as they enter their final years is not ageism, FFS.

But whatever. I’m bored of you and I’m bored of this thread now. I think you can tell a lot about a society by how it treats its elders. I’m pleased the real world is a lot more compassionate than this forum.

My mother in law used to do this every Sunday univited, i really resented her for it. 😂 but you miss them and their quirkiness when they’re gone.

Ageism, certainly.

All OP is saying is she resents her only day off being ruined by the visit of someone she dislikes, every single week, and wonders if she should create some boundaries.

She hasn't really suggested what those would be, might have missed it.

I don't think that's unreasonable, but you seem to. That's that.

No, it’s not. He stays for lunch (50 mins) and then an hour afterwards, sometimes more.

And what exactly are my own prejudices?

Presumably I’m also a racist, sexist, homophobic areshole because I wouldn’t begrudge an 88 year old lunch with his child?