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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to resent my FIL visiting for lunch every Sunday?

308 replies

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 13/06/2026 13:00

I really resent having my FIL come round every Sunday. I work full time and have a part time job on top, so it’s often my only day off and even then I’m often doing jobs round the house, like so many people I know.

He drives round to ours every Sunday and has lunch and stays for an hour or so. I would never want to stop my DH from seeing him, and he could easily pop over there (5 miles away) so I don’t understand why he has to come over here all the time. Also, to add: he’s racist, sexist, homophobic and hates immigrants. He left a previous marriage because when they had a baby she ‘didn’t have a meal on the table when he got home from work’. Is he just a product of his time and should I just deal with it (he’s 88 and lonely) or should I stand my ground and protect my weekend boundaries?

OP posts:
Gladystheimpaler · 13/06/2026 13:05

Can you not just carry on with your weekend jobs while DH spend the hour with his dad? Does he still have a relationship with the other child from the marriage he ended?

*edited because I used a weird term to describe ending a marriage and gave myself the ick 🤣

KitchenDancefloor · 13/06/2026 13:04

Every other week with your DH visiting alternate weeks sounds reasonable.

And it’s up to your DH to communicate this.

CheddarBiscuit · 13/06/2026 13:04

Presumably you're making the lunch so just... don't? Let DH sort it.

Internationalwomendayheadquarters · 13/06/2026 13:03

UniquePinkSwan · 13/06/2026 13:01

It’s only for an hour. I bet you wouldn’t turn your own father away

No, it’s not. He stays for lunch (50 mins) and then an hour afterwards, sometimes more.

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 13/06/2026 13:03

I would start taking myself out for a nice sunday lunch alone, perhaps a trip to the cinema or a refreshing long walk alone.

Larrythecatforpm · 13/06/2026 13:03

My mother in law used to do this every Sunday univited, i really resented her for it. 😂 but you miss them and their quirkiness when they’re gone.

ofcolitas · 13/06/2026 13:02

You need to have a sensible reasonable adult conversation with him and explain the situation.

UniquePinkSwan · 13/06/2026 13:01

It’s only for an hour. I bet you wouldn’t turn your own father away