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Original poster

Bus seat deference to a nun

106 replies

Relightmy · 13/06/2026 12:39

On holiday overseas recently DH gave up his seat on the bus for a nun who got on at a later bus stop.

The nun wasn’t particularly elderly, didn’t look infirm, and DH is very much an atheist from a non-religious family.

When I asked why her given up his seat he had no explanation beyond “Well, she’s a nun”.

AIBU to think this was a curious move by DH?

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 13/06/2026 13:12

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/06/2026 13:09

Nuns are terrifying, I'd have got off the bus and waited for the next one.

Read Antonia White Frost in May and you’ll be even more traumatised.

I was scared and not scared of them but then I was a Protestant so I was damned anyway 🤣. Plus as they kept telling us “your parents are paying for your education” if we misbehaved (rare). We were all like, yeah we know.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 13/06/2026 13:09

Totaldramallama · 13/06/2026 13:04

Lots of people who were taught by nuns might disagree that they are serene 😂

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Not serene at least the ones I knew. Some shouldn’t have ever been let near children.

FeliciaFancybottom · 13/06/2026 13:09

Nuns are terrifying, I'd have got off the bus and waited for the next one.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 13/06/2026 13:08

JillThePlantKiller · 13/06/2026 12:56

I’m just old enough to remember when deferential attitudes towards nuns and clergy were the norm in Ireland. I was also educated by nuns.

I’d have been glued to that bus seat,

I was a non catholic attending a private convent in England. Some of the nuns were lovely some were down right nasty, judgmental and bitchy, and unkind. They’re no better than non nuns simply because they devoted their life to god/Virgin Mary.

ACynicalDad · 13/06/2026 13:08

Are you sure he didn’t spot a baby on board badge?

JillThePlantKiller · 13/06/2026 13:07

Totaldramallama · 13/06/2026 13:04

Lots of people who were taught by nuns might disagree that they are serene 😂

Show quote history

Or anyone who encountered them on the labour ward if my dm is to be believed.

LaurieFairyCake · 13/06/2026 13:07

I would too, I would consider anything I could do for their comfort or to acknowledge their sacrificial lives when out and about. They literally spend their whole lives in charity work at no financial gain to themselves.

I worked with a couple of nuns more than 30 years ago, they took prostituted women to doctors, fed addicts, ran a soup kitchen.

Thechaseison71 · 13/06/2026 13:05

Nofeckingway · 13/06/2026 13:01

Remember when it was normal for a man to offer his seat to a woman, any woman ? I am at an age where I still think it is an obvious one . Have to remind myself it's no longer the way . Maybe your DH was brought up the same way .

Jealous of nuns sometimes - no men or children. No wonder they look serene 😁

Serene?? Lol you didn't attend a convent school

RaininSummer · 13/06/2026 13:04

Nice thing to buy but kind of random that he did it for the nun and not the other nearly elderly women.

Totaldramallama · 13/06/2026 13:04

Nofeckingway · 13/06/2026 13:01

Remember when it was normal for a man to offer his seat to a woman, any woman ? I am at an age where I still think it is an obvious one . Have to remind myself it's no longer the way . Maybe your DH was brought up the same way .

Jealous of nuns sometimes - no men or children. No wonder they look serene 😁

Lots of people who were taught by nuns might disagree that they are serene 😂

TeaPot496 · 13/06/2026 13:03

Hmm. I suppose being a nun is a sign she devotes her life in service and charity and he respects that.

Nofeckingway · 13/06/2026 13:01

Remember when it was normal for a man to offer his seat to a woman, any woman ? I am at an age where I still think it is an obvious one . Have to remind myself it's no longer the way . Maybe your DH was brought up the same way .

Jealous of nuns sometimes - no men or children. No wonder they look serene 😁

BillieWiper · 13/06/2026 13:01

In a majority Catholic country I'm assuming it could well be the done thing.

If it was in the UK I'd only offer my seat if the nun was elderly or visibly disabled. And tbh I think most UK nuns are older. In fact I don't think I've ever seen one. Only in Ireland or Italy.

Monty36 · 13/06/2026 13:00

Your DH did the right thing. He was being an old fashioned gent. Good on him.

YorkshireAndCream · 13/06/2026 12:58

Years ago my friends and I dressed up as nuns for a sing a long sound of music screening and loads of people in london gave up seats for us too. It’s clearly a thing!

TrustMeTrustMe · 13/06/2026 12:57

Best thread title on MN for a while

Bless your DH 😉

UniquePinkSwan · 13/06/2026 12:56

I wouldn’t. What makes a nun so special? If anything that would make me refuse as I despise religion

ForAlertLurker · 13/06/2026 12:56

It can be something about seeing a woman in religious garb. I am a member of the Salvation Army and if I have been walking to an event in my city centre wearing my uniform, I have noticed that people do treat me with more curtesy. Especially ex military personnel who remember food or welfare trucks.

JillThePlantKiller · 13/06/2026 12:56

I’m just old enough to remember when deferential attitudes towards nuns and clergy were the norm in Ireland. I was also educated by nuns.

I’d have been glued to that bus seat,

Allders · 13/06/2026 12:55

Lovely of him! Well brought up boy!

KilkennyCats · 13/06/2026 12:55

It's far odder that you felt the need to question him on his good manners?

Lobelia123 · 13/06/2026 12:54

I think youre the weird one questioning it. He just did it as a sign of respect., for someone who evidently has devoted their life to religious service. You dont have to be observant to respect that,

ComtesseDeSpair · 13/06/2026 12:53

I’d probably have done the same, though couldn’t really explain why. I suppose it’s something around whatever respect of faith being raised in a culturally Christian country leaves you with. Possibly also that I wouldn’t expect a nun to feel offended about being offered a seat despite not being very elderly in the way I imagine some women of the same age would feel about it if they didn’t feel or think they looked elderly.

Thechaseison71 · 13/06/2026 12:51

Relightmy · 13/06/2026 12:39

On holiday overseas recently DH gave up his seat on the bus for a nun who got on at a later bus stop.

The nun wasn’t particularly elderly, didn’t look infirm, and DH is very much an atheist from a non-religious family.

When I asked why her given up his seat he had no explanation beyond “Well, she’s a nun”.

AIBU to think this was a curious move by DH?

Not really In Thailand for example monks are given priority on public transport. Nobody would dream of plonking themselves down and leaving them to stand.

And surely it's good manners for a man to give up his seat for a lady ( which the nun def was)

Baskingintheheat · 13/06/2026 12:50

I'm an atheist and I would have done the same 🤷‍♀️