AIBU for not checking on DH and the kids during flight?

Because that’s the same thing….🤦🏻‍♀️

What a wet blanket. Hope you enjoyed the drink and book.

(Generally) women get told they need to make their needs known to their partners rather than expect them to guess, so its his own fault for not asking for help if he needed it.

Why have you posted this thread? You dont seem to have any interest in finding out whether folk actually think you are being unreasonable given your borderline aggressive retorts to anyone who thinks you were indeed unreasonable (which is a resounding majority). Do you actually want any advice or were you just misguided enough to think this thread would give you enough ammunition to throw at your already hurt partner.

If it were a friend or your mum sitting with your kids op would you have popped up to see if they needed to go to the loo or if they were ok?

Surely with those ages the fair thing would have been to swap halfway through

Would he have done the same if you were the one sitting with the children?

Absolute madness.

You should have checked. As others have said if someone (child or DH had needed the toilet). The only reason you didn’t is you didn’t want to risk him asking to swap halfway as you enjoyed the time to yourself but you are being unreasonable to not admit that. If me and my DH we would have suggested taking half the time each and checked at least once during the other persons time.

Was that not a bit of a squash?
Of course he can cope. They're just as much his kids as yours
But i would have checked regardless of the gender of either parent.
Simple courtesy

Maybe these people check in every hour from work when the other parent has the kids

And if she did that there's a good chance one or both kids would start creating at the sight of her

It’s just mystifying that regardless of what was agreed you wouldn’t just wander up the plane and say “all good?”, and then wander back down the plane to your seat. Not because it’s needed. Not because your DH can’t cope (because he can, and did). Not because you’re required to “check in”. Just because you’re a team and it’s a reasonable thing to do.

And again, if OP was the DH, this entire chat would be inundated with “get your ducks in a row” and “LTB”.

The flight was 2.5 hours fgs! What's all this 'checking in '?

My DH can absolutely manage but I’d always check in, as he would with me. Not a big deal but we care about one another.

And here’s the drip feed.
OP if you’re a proper 50/50 team, and you abandoned him like that you’re a bit of a nob.
If you’re secretly doing a ‘damn the man save the empire’ rebellion because his crapness caused the situation and its a common theme, then rock on.

Exactly it was his incompetence that created this seat situation. The OP stuck to her part of the arrangement.

I defintely wouldn't have offered a swap in that case. DH has an alarn set to check in the minute it opens to confirm our seats - which he has already booked.

Our seats were changed on the out leg of our flight at Easter so we swapped the middle one of the (awful) seats allocated to an extra legroom seat and hoped no one took the free middle. It meant DH had extra legroom and DS and I had 3 seats between us. 9 hour flight, I only spoke to him when I went to the toilet 😆

We went to Lapland in December and I was sat with the kids, my husband, mum and her partner were in front but on the emergency exit seats so our eldest couldn't sit there, they all just fell asleep and I sorted kids....we've just come back off holiday and we did 2x 2 this time so I sat with our 4yr old daughter behind my husband and 8yr old son....our Son is 100x easier than our daughter....I'd check on my husband if it was me, but he's probably not check on me

I think mums learn to do things on their own faster than dads in general and it's a good opportunity for him to learn what looking after small children takes.Im sure as it was not a long flight it wasn't that bad but I also think it will help you to remember to check in early next time and make sure you have one child each day next to you...
I think he may be unhappy but you need to be able to move past it and make plans for what will be done differently in the future.

Again he obviously did and could, it’s more just being nice and thoughtful, sitting with a 2 year old on a plane can be hard, my husband would definitely take a walk up to us

what is it with these men who can’t parent their own children for a few hours?

If this was a man not checking in with his wife everyone would be saying how selfish he is…

Err I'm quoting another person while you are talking about theOP

And I 100% agree with you BTW

She didn’t chose that though.

HE did by not booking the seats in time.
So yes, it would have been better if they had been ‘together’.
But HE messed up the booking
And HE agreed to look after tge dcs on his own, just like the OP had done on the other leg.

So it was HIS doing.

I read them. Whatever your reasons it's still your choice to do so.