AIBU for not checking on DH and the kids during flight?

I think a quick check in mid flight would have been the kind and reasonable thing to do for the person you presumably love.

Doesn’t work when the seats are 3 together , one away . I’d have thought popping back to see if one needed the toilet wasn’t unreasonable

Are we the only people who take a child EACH? We have always sat two and two, one pair behind the other pair, and the child who was most likely to kick the back of the seat in front would be in the behind pair. Divide and rule. Each parent gets a child. Nowadays the short straw is which parent gets the severely autistic child, while the other parent enjoys the quiet companionable young adult child...

And why weren't they sitting near each other on the return then? Because HE didn't bother to book the seats

They were sitting near eachother on the outward bound journey she says in her OP?

She was a couple of rows away not on a separate flight I really dont get the big deal

I’m pretty sure using the fact that single parents manage to cope with something is a spectacularly awful argument in almost any situation. What a wonderful (I obviously mean appalling) get out for those that can’t be fucked to parent! ‘Darling, I could use your help here, little Harold has just vomited up breakfast, the dinner smells like it’s burning and little Timothy is trying to run off into the road!’
‘Do it yourself, I’m watching the footie. How do you think single parents cope?’

In fact the argument that other people do and have coped is a shite argument in general. People in some countries ‘cope’ in war zones or with water being a 5 mile walk away. Coping is not a choice it’s a necessity. People manage to do extraordinary things. But when the choice is there the argument that others cope is just rather mean.

Unless there is some huge drip feed here and you parented single handed and or then drove 6 hours to the airport, you were just being cheeky and got away with a nice 2.5 hour break. Now that’s fine, sometimes we all take a moment and need to be selfish. But you have to be honest and hold your hands up to that. Going on MN to get others to stand up for you and attack your DH for being a parenting wimp is unfair.

I mean obviously, if this were reversed and DH had left you alone for the flight all hell would be unleashed by MN.

I used to fly with two small children on my own 3-4 times a year to visit my parents in another country. It’s really not that hard. You were 15 seats down if he needed you. What did he want you to check in for?

My response kind of depends on how good he is on checking in on you the rest of the time

And whose fault was it that she wasn't sat near him on the return?

On the outward journey he was next to her, just across the aisle!

So she should check but he didn't have to on outward bound journey?

You should have checked if he wanted a break definitely.

Surely it’s just courtesy to check that the other person (whoever it may be) looking after your children is doing ok and that one of the kids hasn’t vomited or choked or shit themselves. Nothing to do with having a useless husband and everything to do with being a thoughtful person🤷‍♀️

He didn’t, but he was physically present and if one of the kids had started being sick or kicking off, he (presumably) would have stepped in to help. Because whilst OP could cope I’m sure, it’s nice to have a helping hand in sure circumstances.

Whereas OP wasn’t in view and didn’t check whether DH was having a big issue & could do with a hand.

If I’m wrong and DH wouldn’t have stepped in to help whatever happened, then OP was entirely NBU not to have checked in.

He didn't on the way out

This.

My husband would volunteer to sit with the kids. Tell me to enjoy the time to myself. He would not just cope he would thrive spending one on one time with the kids. I would still check in on him as that’s the decent thing to do to someone you love.

I’m not sure I’ve seen a single post suggesting any husbands can’t cope. Simply that they all actually like each other.

It does seem very weird to not check in on him and your children and just pretend you were flying alone.

This is what I mean by ‘checking in’ also.

Yes but when both parents are there that’s not the scenario is it? All she had to do was check in. I’m sure had the roles being reversed she would posted on here that DH was being unreasonable not checking in on her.

Ugh how the hell do you suppose we all travel with kids when there isn't a 2nd parent with us.

We would have split it. I would have got up after an hour and gone to check.

At home you know they have their own toys and usual routine.

On a plane a parent may need the toilet or one of the children does and those toilets are not designed to all 3 of you go into. Also planes can make children’s ears very painful and therefore they are not settled/comfortable.

I just think checking in on the other parent is a decent thing to do whether it was mum or dad sat with the kids.

Not quite On the plane you know exactly where they are, you know there's not been a major accident involving them or they aren't stuck in a burning house.