AIBU for not checking on DH and the kids during flight?

WTAF

so gross.

make up for what? Him parenting solo for a couple of hours.
you think he gets to use her body as payment / compensation?

I think it's a bit out of order personally. You should have at least checked if a loo break was needed etc.
My husband recently sat with our daughter on an outbound flight and I took her to the toilet and watched her whilst he did
I would have expected the same in return.

Pretty sure he could have alerted you if there was an issue since you were travelling on the same plane 😂

I'd be so pissed off if my DH didn't at least offer to swap half way through. Of course I could cope, but why should I have to whilst their other parent was happily enjoying reading their book in peace for the entire flight?

In 2 minds about this. Yes I would have checked but usually it is the woman on the plane who gets the kids. Did your OH do his share of parenting while on holiday?

Honestly this is ridiculous. He’s a grown man, he is perfectly capable of looking after his own children for a couple of hours. Why does he need a “check in”?

I would understand more if you were flying long haul but for a flight of duration after factoring in takeoff and landing there’s only about 45 minutes in which to move around the plane anyway.

What a baby.

It may have been nice to walk back and just check in. but not necessary because it’s an aeroplane, ones that take you on 2.5hr flights aren’t that big so if there was any kind of issue, you’d have been made aware of it pretty bloody quickly.

plus it was only 2.5hrs, I’m sure he was fine really. Just didn’t enjoy being the ‘on’ parent.

boohoo for him. I’m sure you’ve had the kids sat with you for that long before. Probably on the flight out and even if he was sat across the aisle on the way out, how much active parenting did he do?

For what it’s worth for families of 4 I suggest booking 2 x 2 seats on flights. 1 adult to 1 child and that way no one is stretched too thin and in tbd unlikely event of needing to exit in an emergency you have 1 child each to focus on.

…how is this your conclusion when you have no idea of the dynamic between the OP and her husband…?

I’d have checked on him definitely. And probably offered to swap half way

I was on a flight only this week, the mum was in a row with 2 young children, the younger one was not a happy bunny at all. The father was across the aisle, and hardly interacted with his family at all, during the 4 hour flight, so, OP, I think you did the right thing.

That’s not really the point is it? You’re not a single parent and neither is DH. You were both on the flight together, but one of you got to completely relax and kick back with a drink and a book whilst the other had to manage two very young children in a confined space for 2.5 hours by themself. The fair thing to do, as PPs have suggested, would have been to offer to swap with him halfway through.

In your case, I probably would've offered up front to switch part way through but if the answer was no thanks I'd leave him to it. If I did get up e.g .to use the toilet I'd have stopped briefly to say hi, but otherwise on a flight that short I'd probably have stayed in my seat so I wasn't clogging up the aisles unnecessarily. In his case, it wouldn't have occurred to me to be upset that you didn't come by (I'm assuming there was no way to text or otherwise communicate) since there WAS no issue. If there had been an issue and I needed you and couldn't bring or leave the children I'd have put on the attendant light and asked a flight attendant to alert you.

Why is he still talking about this, though? Does he want the two of you to agree to do things differently if the situation happens again (OK, let's discuss it) or does he just want to criticise you/rant (I'd probably tune it out after a while)?

I'd be really irritated if DH didn't come down at some point but if, during the holiday, you did the hard yards, then I think you were entitled to a 2.5hr break.
What makes me wonder, though, is that the kids were happy to sit with him and not you. They usually want to be with the most involved parent.

Was the reason you’d barely had a chance to read your book while away that your DH mostly left you to be the default parent while he had more time to chill?

Or was he doing equal parenting with you, and it was just the fact of having two small DC that meant neither of you had much time to yourselves?

I think if the former YANBU, if the latter YABU.

Oh this is the return flight… I dunno steak and bj tonight for him to make it up?!

Just because single parents would have to do it on their own, doesn’t mean it’s fair that one person gets to relax, read their book and order drinks whilst the other had both kids all flight long.

I’d have arranged to swap half way.

So you do the return trip by yourself yes? That’s fair.

I’m another one who would have wandered down halfway through to say hello and check if everything was ok/he wanted to swap. Of course he could and should be able to cope on his own for the flight, but we’re a partnership and I actually like him so I’d want to make sure he’d didn’t need any support (ie “one child had fallen asleep and the other needed the loo” type scenarios.

Sorry if I am being obtuse but I would be happy to leave a child on their own briefly while I took the other one to the toilet. If you're standing up, unless it's a huge plane, you can usually see them and it's not like they can go anywhere.

I think some of this depends on what your kids are like and your approach. We are into tablets for travel - they don't have lots of screen time normally so on a 2.5 flight, I would just plug them in to a movie and read my book. Obviously need to deal with toilet trips and snacks and stuff but it's not a huge thing

Yeah you were pretty selfish not to swap halfway. Sure, he can cope but why should he have to when there are 2 parents to take turns?

I sat with 2 of my 3 children for 9 hours on the way to Florida who at the time were 1.5 & 4. They were fine. I told DP to have a rest and relax.

2.5 hours is nothing

Your dh definitely drew the short straw there 🤣 I would have gone down halfway through and offered him to swap seats for a while. Flying with young kids is intense.

@Dhflightsulk oh, the poor chick.
He watched his own dc for 2.5hrs.
Be sure to post it on the fridge.
Mr. Dhflight watched his own dc today with no help.

Don't feel bad op, I'm sure you'll be repaying him the favour for years.

I love it when women excel in male dominated fields.

Yes, it was unreasonable and you were selfish not to swap with him at some point or check in with him. I bet you wouldn’t have wanted to have been left dealing with your two small kids by yourself for the duration of the flight.