AIBU for not checking on DH and the kids during flight?

Read the post?

It’s about care, consideration and kindness.
you won’t have a leg to stand on in any future flights where he’s off sitting somewhere else and leaving you to it.

I used to travel quite a bit for work, one of the locations was in a popular tourist destination

it boiled my piss how many blokes would cocoon themselves across/away from the wife and leave her to it. That’s totally acceptable day in and day out. So why not the other way round?

Only once did I see a guy take on his kids fully and let the mum of a very young baby sleep while he had them both.

@Dhflightsulk i would tell him that he needs more practice with them solo then, so he’s used to it. Don’t you dare feel guilty or bad. This is what you do day in and day out.

Op says in her post that they are 5 and 2.

Yes YABU. My kids are that age and bloody hard work together. I would have naturally gone to check on them several times.

How old are the kids? Pretty relevant matter, I’d have thought!

Take the kids to the toilet with me or hold it because....its two and a half hours ive coped without my ex husband for years we have had holidays day trips hospital appointments emergency A&E trips and we coped my dad used to be on emergency back up if I was stuck with one and needed to get the other he had to do it once (and he is dead now so cant help) people just cope as your husband did im not sure what everyone's issue is if it had been four five six hours maybe but two and a half? No point swapping

This

Yep, nowadays it's even available on some shorthaul aircraft on some airlines (e.g. BA).

On previous flights were you ever the one sat with your children while he sat apart? If so, did he come to check you were OK from time to time?

If he did YABU
If he didn't YANBU and should remind him!

On a 2.5 hours flight? I haven’t seen that before @notimagain

For info on WiFi equipped aircraft (and more and more airlines have those) messaging apps such as Whatsapp can be used in flight.

I wouldn’t have checked on him and would have enjoyed 2,5 hours of peace 😁

But then I’ve travelled alone many times, including with a 9 months old and 2yo. I can’t say it was any harder than parenting alone on the ground.

Id have expected dh to be able to do the same. He is a parent. They are his children. Unless there was a real issue, I can’t see why he couldn’t cope and needed checking on.

If roles had been reversed, woukd he have checked on you or assumed you could cope! Thatvwill tell you everything you need.

Sympathy at having to parent ones own children?

What message does that give to a child - that they are an inconvenience?

Yes to have been fair you could have gone up and swapped over half way though flight

equally he is a parent and should be capable of entertaining /looking after 2 kids - like you would have done

if it was you with the kids , I’m sure you would have wanted dh to check on you/swap over

equally he could have come and found you either with the kids 😂 or left them on the seat for a few mins to walk to you .

it’s not like they are going to escape the plane

I would probably have wandered past to say hello at some point but not "checked on him"

I would have checked in a couple of times at those ages. Given DH a chance to go to the bathroom. Of course single parents would manage but the DH isn’t single.

I think if it was a wider pattern of behaviour that he's the default parent and you often opt out and leave it to him, he has a point.

But I suspect that isn't the case...

Those ages 100% would have swapped half way through. Or at least gone to see if they were ok.

If they were 7,8 etc would have checked at least but probably not offered to swap

*Tel12 · Today 11:42
Of course you should have checked in with him and swapped half way
On a 2.5 hr flight?
No way.
If they were flying London to Australia maybe but not for a local flight.

I would have offered to swap half way and maybe that is what he meant by "check in". But no biggie really- it was a very short flight.

If it was 1 child or one of the DC was older I would understand not checking, but 2 young children? I don't blame your DH for being unhappy. I only have 1 child, and in this situation myself and DH would have swapped at some point so both of us got a bit of a break.

Yeah, you should have checked. And offered to swap places half way through.

Unless he had a flight of child free time on the way there and this was your turn.

2.5hrs is only a short time if your children are behaving. I have a 2 and 4 year old and could easily find it tiring trying to keep them entertained and in their seats for that length of time.

My husband and I have been in this situation. Usually the deal is I sit with the kids and he deals with the driving after. Or we agree ahead of time when to swap. I think you should have talked beforehand and also let it go now it’s done. 2 year olds are notoriously rough on flights so I think I’d be annoyed if my husband just totally forgot about us.