Parenting Professor says that she supports smacking children

And smacked violent horrors who learned that that’s how you deal with issues. You forgot that cohort.

All research into children and families is unreliable. It obviously doesn’t allow bench science and is riddled with confounding personal and social influences. Academics who cling to one theory or another about bringing up children do so just because they’re part of that academic grouplet within some social science subject or other.

Parenting is instinctive. We do what we think best.

Laws on child punishment and cruelty are made out of - perfectly reasonable - concern, not with evidence.

Anecdata doesn’t help either. For every well-adjusted non-smacked kid there’s a little horror who wasn’t smacked. And vice versa.

every child is on some form of ehcp

The statistics show you are utterly wrong.

I was on a long car drive down to Cornwall on Thursday, and happened to hear quite a long piece about this on Radio 4.
That comment/quote was read out/discussed, and I didn't interpret that has pro-smacking personally. Just stating a known fact that children need boundaries. But I don't know this professor or her views.

But anyone with a science background knows this is a tenuous study at best. There's a million factors that come into place to determine exam results. Implying "smacked as a kid? crap GCSEs" is very poor and unreliable science.

And my sister hasn’t forgotten it, either…

Yes, 100%. One of the little guys is a partner in crime to my DS. But he wouldn’t do it at home… They have loving parents, but it’s just normal discipline in their lives.

It was acceptable when I was growing up in the 80s. I didn’t get hit, as I was good, but my sister did. Funny now, she’s the golden child, I think my parents felt guilty about it all.

She CAN be a handful. I have videos of her when she was little literally bouncing off the walls. Her teachers would never have believed it.

The thing is, your DS is who he is, do you not think that some of the other children might be the same, need the same things? They’ve just been frightened out of it.

I’d never smack my child, either. Your DD sounds lovely. My DS is a live wire, not always well behaved, he might settle down a bit when he’s older. He has a lot of crazy energy!

I never smacked and DD does do like she’s asked(99% of the time) and is described as a kind, polite and beautifully behaved child by teachers and other adults, even as a teenager.

Yes. My dd broke her car seat in half to escape from the seatbelt like Houdini (I'd used a restraint clip so she couldn't undo the seatbelt). She was 5. I now know she was in fight or flight mode. She couldn't flee so she fought with everything she had. It's impossible to restrain a child like that. And often dangerous, to them and to you.

And to be fair I wasn’t just or even mainly talking about removing them and walking away with them. I was talking about removing them from somewhere and holding them with you to prevent them going back (‘time out.’) If you have multiple children and you’re somewhere like a party or event and one kicks off this is apparently how you’re meant to deal with it but it’s easier said than done.

I don’t know, I don’t know your six year old. I imagine possibly yes, but in a perverse way it can be easier when they’re older because force is less likely to result in an injury. If you imagine forcing a Labrador into a car and forcing a chihuahua- one is a lot more wriggly. There is more to grab of the Lab.

THIS is the perfect example of parents choosing to parent in different ways and it not being an issue!

There’s something in this. I am of the gentle parent persuasion. I only have one child, it’s just what we’ve done. Co-sleeping, etc…

My kid can be hard work, doesn’t do as he’s asked. He’s great fun, but attracts attention when we’re out, in good & bad ways.

He has many friends from different cultures, and the parenting involves smacking. The kids all are normal kids, of course.

But I have noted their polite behaviour, manners & helping at home. They have no choice! They fall in line with their parents easily.

And they openly tell me how they’re disciplined. They tell DS he’s lucky! I don’t judge their parents at all. But we don’t hit in our house.

No doubt you might parent in ways I don’t agree with and wouldn’t choose. Maybe you allow more screentime. Maybe you don’t permit sleepovers. That’s completely fine. It’s your decision as a parent how your children are brought up.

I’m not telling you that you MUST spank your child, but that you CAN, if it’s the right choice for your family. 👍

Your post is contradicting yourself.
It became illegal for teachers to strike children, before that it was absolutely commonplace for schools to cane or belt children. The reason it became illegal is because it became socially unacceptable therefore people’s opinions are relevant, particularly when the safety of children comes into it.
Other areas of the uk have made smacking children illegal and this is literally due to people having an opinion on the matter.

I don’t think you’re being rude; I just genuinely don’t think you realise how much force it can take to restrain a child who is really fighting back with every fibre of their being.

I have seen similar comments over the years many times on here ‘just strap him in the buggy’ type things and in my DS’s case that would have meant wrenching his limbs, pressing down down hard on his middle and in all honesty really being far rougher than I am OK with.

Because it’s deemed to be abusive.

Exactly. You could’ve stopped after that sentence.

Because it’s deemed to be abusive.

However, in England it is within the law so parents are free to continue if they see fit. If the law ever changes they will be required to stop. It’s no more complicated than that.

It actually doesn’t matter what others think of their parenting. We do not all have to agree.

A tap on the bum is fine imo.

Why is it illegal?

I do agree with you about this but don't think the culmination of a situation should be smacking.I work with so many people who can't negotiate, discuss or problem solve and it's a skill.It's also a skill to know what's non negotiable and parents need to parent although that should never mean physical punishment and I speak as a woman who grew up in a physically violent family.