AIBU to set boundaries with a friend in mental health crisis

This!

Do this, it is fine not to answer messages /calls when you are work, you are not responsible for her wellbeing to this extent.

@bagpuss90 the next time she calls you saying she cant go on call the police where she lives and report what she has said as a welfare concern. You cant help her in any other way as she needs professional help and the police will take her to a safe place and get her the help she needs.

Getting MH support is really difficult but she’s being unfair relying on you.

She can call or email Samaritans although email takes about 24 hours to respond.

SHOUT is good, you text them. They do get busy though.

Some areas have MH drop in sessions for support depending on where she is.

Of course you are. So put boundaries in place to prevent that resentment getting worse, and her behaviour making your life even more problematic. She’s clearly out of her mind, so you need to be the well-balanced person for both of you.

I don't blame you for starting to resent her. I would set some boundaries. Ideally I'd be honest and tell her that you will only be available at X time and never available at Y time. If you can't be honest then making up some sort of neutral excuse is the next best thing.

Sometimes people do need to be told that what they are expecting is beyond that of a friendly listening ear. Always remember that you are not responsible for solving this OP.

Curious what you mean by refusing to seek professional help?
If this is actually strictly true, she needs to seek help, not just turn to you.
I'm wondering if she's actually already sought help and it's been so distressing and fruitless she's not repeatedly trying?
A lot of posters will tell you she needs to seek professional help, so it's important to know where she actually stands with that.

What an awful situation - particularly as it sounds like she's driven everyone else away with her selfishness and neediness and so you are left being the only one who will take her calls. However, you are not in a position to support her - you're not a qualified professional, you have a job and a life of your own she cannot expect you to put those on hold to support her whenever she wants.

So firstly, I would tell her that you are unable to do anything to help her and that she must call her GP and make an urgent appointment on Monday and that is non-negotiable. Then secondly I would tell her that you cannot keep taking her calls when you are at work or away on holiday and that you'll be putting your phone on Do Not Disturb and that she should call The Samaritans at those times if she is desperate. You can always screen your voice messages while your phone is on DND and call the emergency services if you need to. Perhaps having an ambulance arrive at her place will be the wake up call she needs and/or get her engaged with MH services?

Of course you are, she's using you and being extremely unfair.

I'd try first gently but firmly pushing back with a set time you can speak, if you want to.

If that doesn't work out or you actually don't like her anymore, you are not responsible for her, you can walk away.

Yes, of course. Tell her you can’t take calls during the working day for a start, and give her one specific short time slot during which you are available. Encourage her to seek professional help.

There's no point in setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm as the saying goes.

Your own Health and wellbeing is affected by her constant demands. You should tell her, gently but firmly, that she must get professional help, call the Samaritans, but not ring you at all hours.

Perhaps give her a set time when you will be available on the phone for a while?

But this cannot go on. If she breaks you, who will.she ring then?