Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

Statistically, your ex has more to worry about by you introducing a new man to your son than the other way round. YABU.

Of course. But it isn’t advice; it’s a fact evidenced by a fairly substantial body of research. If he didn’t give a shit about the interests of his child that would be very telling, wouldn’t it?

Yanbu to be annoyed. Some of the 'so what' replies are a bit disingenuous - if a mum introduces a new boyfriend within a few months and spends entire days of her time with the kids including this person, she gets told its too soon. Of course its not ideal to have a very new girlfriend suddenly spend lots of time with his son.

But agree that there isn't anything you can do about it really.

The first thing I would do is apply for CMS, not because of the girlfriend, but because £30 a year is an absolute disgrace. I would do that right this second personally as it can take a few months to set up, I wouldnt care ehat he thought.

Sadly, there is nothing you can do about him introducing your child to every woman he is in a relationship with, even if hes only known them 2 weeks. Thats not to say its not unreasonable in my view, but sadly he can introduce your child to whoever he wants. Of course if there are safeguarding concerns then thats a separate issue. My ex did the same and introduced our little boy to the woman he was having an affair with very, very quickly after he ended our relationship, but thankfully our child was too young at the time to care (and now he no longer sees our child, his choice as hes moved 5 hours away with this woman and has had no contact with me/our child in months) Its hurtful when you wouldnt behave the same way if you met someone, but legally there is nothing you can do.

You can “expect” anything you like, but you’re not entitled to insist upon it.

So, in the interests of the child’s safety, OP can demand her ex doesn’t date anyone, or introduce them to her child without her approval? And her ex can do likewise? How could this be enforced?

Are you expecting your son to be 18 years old before his dad is allowed to date?

so your ex has the right to tell you you are not allowed to have friends or even a boyfriend that will go in contact with your child? really?

You don't think you can be trusted on not shoving your kid in the arms of a predator?

Sorry, but that's exactly how it's coming across.

@Pinkie89 How many kids do you have? You mention "children" but only refer to the 7yr old with this man. What's the age gap between your kids?

You said ‘I don’t think he’s known her long’

You don’t know this, they could have been getting to know each other way before he introduced her to your son.

I think you probably know full well, it’s not the fact that your son has met her but that you’re jealous,

It sounds like it’s been years since you’ve broken up. You need to move on and forget about what he’s doing. Stop looking at his insta or anything else. What he does in his own time is his own business (providing it’s legal, which this definitely is).

How will you Ex know if he’s met his Mrs Right? He told you they were friends, then taking it slow and now together. Considering he has your child every weekend, and presumably he works all week, there isn’t much other time for him to see her.

My ex has had 3 partners in the 8 years we've split absolutely no Ill effects in my children 🫣. They have a good relationship with their dad unless his relationships affect their relationship with him negatively it doesn't matter .

I am very surprised in some of these responses.

Children's safety is always the most important thing isn't it? Minding your own business is for differences of opinion, not about boundaries regarding the safety and wellbeing of a child?

it's completely irrelevant what you think though.

If you are together, you can argue about people/ friends your child get into contact with.

You are not, you have no say at all, when your only complaint is that he hasn't spent long enough with her.

it might suck, but that's what it is.

And your ex would be perfectly justified in telling you to shove your advice up your arse. As you would be, if he did the same.

You might not like your son meeting her but I don't see that it's any of your business. It's not your ex's business what you do when you're son is with you. Don't follow his socials, that's weird, move on, worry about your life not his, he's your ex.

what exactly do you think should happen?

You want to see a DBS for any of HIS friends? Do you have the same for YOUR friends, other school parents etc? Do you have a police check on an adult who has your child for a playdate with your own child?

Because you want to control your ex, it's not about the actual safety of your child? Is it likely his dad will throw his own child to a predator, really?

Don't be so dramatic, how often does he have your son,does your son like this woman. When do you think he should meet them? What is it that concerns you the most, why do you follow him on Instagram. Do you question your son after every visit.

I didn’t say that she could or should interfere.

Though on that subject, if it was me, I would probably remind him that repeated relationship transitions are associated with poorer outcomes for children.