Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

My ex had a sort of honeymoon period with our daughter just after he left. Just the two of them and him giving her his full attention which was lovely all round. It didn’t last long. Soon his attention was back on all the things which had caused our relationship to break in the first place and our grown up daughter is suffering psychologically from his neglect in particular which has had an impact on her self esteem, her relationship choice and her attachment style. She felt sidelined and couldn’t process those emotions as a child. There’s a lot to recommend that new girlfriends or boyfriends don’t have to share time with the partner’s young child in the early stages of a relationship. Childhood is so brief and yet everything that happens in its duration has an effect on the adult self. Could you have a word with him about this OP? Encourage him to have one to one quality time on the days that he is with your son?

Your ex is of course allowed to have a love life.

But I would question the wisdom of confusing your son by introducing to him someone who is not even at the moment a proper girlfriend and/or someone he lives with.

'A friend he is taking things slow with' just sounds like a friends with benefits and there is no need for her to meet your son.

I have no idea why people on this thread are being so harsh on you.

I bet this thread is full of comments saying it's none of your business who your ex shacks up with and how quickly he embeds them in your kid's life while you'd be told you were a neglectful disgrace for introducing him to a man within 5 years of meeting him....

I'm not making it sound like anything, maybe you're jealous, maybe you're not.
I understand you'd like your son to only meet women your ex is serious about, maybe he thinks she's the one, maybe she's an amazing person. My point was you can't control what goes on when your son is with him, you made a baby with him and he's entitled to parent as he sees fit when your son is there. I've been there, I didn't like who my ex got with after me but it wasn't my choice. It is better to detach yourself as much as possible in my opinion. You're following his socials and you're friends, well have a chat with him then. Sounds like a recipe for stress you seeing what he's up to.

op,

I'm really sorry that people on this thread are being absolute dicks to you. I completely understand why you would be concerned about this as it is a safeguarding issue more than anything. Your ex does not know this person and it doesn't really set a good example for your son if ends up witnesses numerous women coming to and from his dad's house. I'm sorry you are going through it, although I'm also sorry to say that it is something you will need to accept, since he has parental responsibility xx

There is absolutely nothing you can do about what your ex does on his time with your son, unless it's life threatening.
The best you can do is educate your son about shifting relationships and friendships in age appropriate ways.
If you make a big deal about things your ex does your son will eventually learn to keep quiet about his time with his dad and then you may actually miss something important especially when he enters his teens.

You either trust his dad to keep him safe. Or you don’t. It’s his son too. He’s his parent. He’s allowed to make decisions. And if you don’t think he can keep your son safe then you need to look at the arrangement.

my ex has no idea what goes on in my life and nor do I his. We don’t have each other on social media. I trust him to keep our children safe…

I'm not the poster you're replying to. However, I would suggest you re-read your posts and flip the genders. So it's a man wanting to micro manage his ex's life and conduct with her child. Then in all honesty, ask yourself if they're being controlling and/or would get their ass handed to them on a plate if they posted as you've done on this thread, including the tone and tenor of your posts

What is your real concern OP? And why would it make any difference to DS if this woman was just a friend of his dad rather than a girlfriend?

Quite clearly, just to sound more and more histrionic with each post

You did say you were encouraging your ex to meet someone, he has and you don't like it, where does your son usually sleep, presumably dad has a bed for him? How long has he known her 2 weeks or a month? If he looks after his son every weekend, works in the week, then surely his social time with anyone including a girlfriend is going to be at the weekend when your son is with him. How do you know girlfriend is there. Do you ask your son?

No she wouldn't. She would be torn apart for putting 'dick' before her child.
That doesn't get in the way of saddo's jumping at the chance to be an arsehole to a worried Mum on the Internet though does it?

No, he's likely lying because he finds you a PITA and controlling

If you can tell me when all these comments were posted I will go back and reply to them, I honestly haven’t seen them.
Or you could read through your own thread. You were well able to reply snarly to lots of comments.

What age was your first son when you got pregnant with your 2nd... knowing that the father you chose for your 2nd already had a child he wasn't interested interested in?
I'm not sure you have the right to comment on other women and your exes choices when this was yours...

Yes, he could do that, and it could be argued it would be better for the child, but he doesn't have to. He's not breaking the law, and no one can tell him what to do, including OP. Why is this so hard to comprehend?

OK then - now the girlfriend is a murderous predatory drug user? If this is the type of comment you make to your ex, do you really wonder why he doesn't tell you the truth about his relationship with his presumable non murderous, non predatory, non drug using girlfriend.

And stop following him on Instagram!

Right, have I missed something here? Is the child being left with a random woman from Insta looking after him while his dad is having a social life elsewhere?
If his dad is caring for his son while his ‘friend’ is also there I am failing to see the big problem. She’s not being positioned as a sudden step mum is she?

"But even introducing our son to a new partner every 2 years (if it continued at that rate) feels uncomfortable to me.. that’s would be a lot of partners by the time he’s an adult"

And so??