Page 3 | Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

Pinkie89 · 2026-06-13T08:16:38+00:00

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”. AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend. I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 14:56

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SnappyUmberLion · 13/06/2026 14:48

MyLimeGuide · 13/06/2026 14:36

You are correct OP to think like this, I asked my sons dad to wait atleast 6 months of being with his new GF before he introduced her to him.

What if he had refused? What if he asked you to wait at least 4 years being with a new BF before introducing him to your son?

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Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 14:39

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Because he told me how long it had been. He didn’t tell me it’s a gf, I don’t really know the situation.

My son told me he’d met this girl 2 weeks ago. I asked my ex about it casually when he dropped him off and he said it was just a friend. Fine, no problem. 2/3 days later he posted her on Instagram stories, and it was evident she’s not just a friend from whatever he said on that post.

The other day my son mentioned her again, and said he went to her house last weekend. So, last night I told my ex it seems this girl is more than just a friend and I told him I would’ve liked to have been told if he was introducing our son to a new partner. He said she’s just a friend, then it was a friend he’s taking things slow with, the latest is it’s someone he’s confident he has a future with. At which point I asked how long he’d known her and he told me a few other things like about her going to his last weekend.

OP posts:

NovemberMorn · 13/06/2026 14:39

Runsaway · 13/06/2026 14:37

That’s a ridiculous thing to say. I’m most definitely a mother.

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Well then, you would be in the half that is. 🙄

Runsaway · 13/06/2026 14:37

NovemberMorn · 13/06/2026 14:32

honestly, I suspect half the people who are on this thread are not mothers.

I fully understand your concerns OP, I wouldn't like it either. Kids can get attached to people very quickly, and as you said, they can also get attached to peoples pets. It's certainly not fair on your little boy for women to be introduced, get close....then gone after he has formed an attachment.

You cant do anything about your ex taking your child to see his other woman/women, but I would gently be asking your son what he has done in the times he is with your ex. If you suspect he is being left alone, or that he isn't being cared for properly....then that is certainly your business.
If he is, I would try to come to terms with the fact your ex has moved on, and hopefully the new woman is caring towards your son, and more of a permanent fixture in his life.

That’s a ridiculous thing to say. I’m most definitely a mother.

MyLimeGuide · 13/06/2026 14:36

You are correct OP to think like this, I asked my sons dad to wait atleast 6 months of being with his new GF before he introduced her to him.

NovemberMorn · 13/06/2026 14:32

honestly, I suspect half the people who are on this thread are not mothers.

I fully understand your concerns OP, I wouldn't like it either. Kids can get attached to people very quickly, and as you said, they can also get attached to peoples pets. It's certainly not fair on your little boy for women to be introduced, get close....then gone after he has formed an attachment.

You cant do anything about your ex taking your child to see his other woman/women, but I would gently be asking your son what he has done in the times he is with your ex. If you suspect he is being left alone, or that he isn't being cared for properly....then that is certainly your business.
If he is, I would try to come to terms with the fact your ex has moved on, and hopefully the new woman is caring towards your son, and more of a permanent fixture in his life.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 14:30

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Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 14:29

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Original poster

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 14:24

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Until this point absolutely we did!

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Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 14:23

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Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 14:21

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Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 14:19

SisterMidnight77 · 13/06/2026 14:15

You’re getting annoyed with people but you picked him.

Oh trust me I know I picked him, and like I said I’ve learnt my lesson and I’m remaining single 😅

I’m not at all angry about my choice 8 years ago. I can’t exactly go back in time and nor would I because I wouldn’t change my son for the world.

OP posts:

missmollygreen · 13/06/2026 14:18

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 09:36

Because he lied to my face about the situation.

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Two weeks ago they may have been just friends.
Either way it really is none of you business.

Original poster

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 14:16

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Of course I know because I’ve been stalking him on Instagram… it couldn’t possibly be because he’s told me because I surely can’t have a healthy relationship with my ex whereby we communicate 🤭

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SisterMidnight77 · 13/06/2026 14:15

You’re getting annoyed with people but you picked him.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 14:08

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BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 13:55

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 13:51

Ohhh we’re going there are we…. Multiple kids by multiple men. I should’ve seen that one coming really. Let’s get real, I’ve had 2 relationships and 2 kids in 2 decades.

You’ve made some big assumptions there haven’t you, unfortunately they’re not true so your points aren’t valid.

I would continue but I don’t care to argue with someone that judges someone for having “multiple kids by multiple men”.

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I'm not judging you for having multiple.kids by multiple men... I'm judging your choice to have a child with a subpar father and then complaining when he is acting subpar...

Original poster

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 13:51

BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 13:23

Well it's not my job to go point out the multiple posts. If you can't read that's another thread first another day.

You seem to be more than happy to condemn your ex, despite you bringing multiple kids into the world with multiple men in fairly quick succession and a step-sibling you barely knew in the mix too.

It's not derailing at all. It's pointing out that you chose this man... and chose for him.to father your youngest knowing he wasn't stepping up with his other child. You brought him into your older child's life at a young age knowing he was already a half-arsed Dad. You saying you believed him that his ex was difficult doesn't really make sense... a good dad would have fought for his kid. Even now, he doesn't contribute to his child.

We all know that it's shit parenting to introduce a partner after a few weeks.... but unfortunately you can't do anything about it.

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Ohhh we’re going there are we…. Multiple kids by multiple men. I should’ve seen that one coming really. Let’s get real, I’ve had 2 relationships and 2 kids in 2 decades.

You’ve made some big assumptions there haven’t you, unfortunately they’re not true so your points aren’t valid.

I would continue but I don’t care to argue with someone that judges someone for having “multiple kids by multiple men”.

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MissMoneyFairy · 13/06/2026 13:46

Does your son think she's nice? Is he happy at his dad's. Either of you could meet someone, have a long relationship then split up which could upset your children more. Do you even know if she sleeps,over or where your son sleeps. At some point in the future you'll both have to meet new partners.

Original poster

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 13:25

Frugalgal · 13/06/2026 13:02

I bet this thread is full of comments saying it's none of your business who your ex shacks up with and how quickly he embeds them in your kid's life while you'd be told you were a neglectful disgrace for introducing him to a man within 5 years of meeting him....

Spot on 👏🏻 I can tell you’ve been here before 😆 I’ve quickly learnt my lesson and I’m a little shell shocked and actually questioning my own judgement and sanity!

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BudgetBuster · 13/06/2026 13:23

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 12:54

I have and I cannot find a single post asking how many children I have, let alone many posts. Nor can I find other posts asking for my child’s ages and my entire relationship history.

I’m not going to tell you all of that information because it could be outting, it in no way impacts the actions of his father, and is in no way relevant to whether these actions were reasonable which was the entire point of this thread that has been derailed.

However, you can pretty much work it out using the information I have given you.

This is also entirely irrelevant and again derailing the actual purpose of this thread. However, I did not know he wasn’t interested in his first child when we were together. I trusted what he said when he said his child’s mother was difficult, which was partially true. He had a relationship with her whilst we were together, although not towards the end. Yes there were red flags I ignored, I should have questioned his relationship with her more, but I have learnt from it and I am now less naive.

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Well it's not my job to go point out the multiple posts. If you can't read that's another thread first another day.

You seem to be more than happy to condemn your ex, despite you bringing multiple kids into the world with multiple men in fairly quick succession and a step-sibling you barely knew in the mix too.

It's not derailing at all. It's pointing out that you chose this man... and chose for him.to father your youngest knowing he wasn't stepping up with his other child. You brought him into your older child's life at a young age knowing he was already a half-arsed Dad. You saying you believed him that his ex was difficult doesn't really make sense... a good dad would have fought for his kid. Even now, he doesn't contribute to his child.

We all know that it's shit parenting to introduce a partner after a few weeks.... but unfortunately you can't do anything about it.

Notmycircusnotmyotter · 13/06/2026 13:22

Really irresponsible. Just because he can doesn't mean he should. I'm only just very slowly introducing my kids to my boyfriend of two solid years.

MeridianB · 13/06/2026 13:15

I think you’re getting a hard time here, OP. Your feelings are totally understandable.

I also think your values are spot on. But your ex has different values and sadly there’s nothing you can do about that.

it’s totally crap to be introducing dates to a child after a few weeks. Not sure how much time he spends with DS but if it’s something like EOW then it’s sad that he isn’t doing that 1:1.

You’ve told him why it matters to you and hopefully he will listen.

LoftyPlumLion · 13/06/2026 13:13

Not sure why you're getting so cross. A friendship can become taking it slow and more very easily so not sure I'd say he lied.

Introducing a female 'friend' is fine too.