Page 2 | Ex partner introduced our son to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”

SnappyUmberLion · 13/06/2026 21:23

Acheyelbows · 13/06/2026 21:19

Literally everyone..scan back over the thread and you will see there are plenty of responses telling her to mind her own business and that she has no right to even know who her child is around when he is with his Dad.

If literally everyone agreed, I wouldn't have posted.

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That’s true though. She has no technical right to know, just as her ex has no right to know who his child is around when he’s with OP. But no one would argue that it’s legitimate for OP, as a mother to be concerned.

Acheyelbows · 13/06/2026 21:19

SnappyUmberLion · 13/06/2026 21:07

Literally everyone thinks OP is right to be concerned. They just don’t think OP can control when her ex introduces his son to his girlfriend, because she can’t.

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Literally everyone..scan back over the thread and you will see there are plenty of responses telling her to mind her own business and that she has no right to even know who her child is around when he is with his Dad.

If literally everyone agreed, I wouldn't have posted.

Laura95167 · 13/06/2026 21:17

Hard one to call because tbh i agree with you about making sure before introducing kids to a partner. I dont think it should be done too quickly. So I think you're right that it may be too soon.

That said hes as much a parent as you and his judgment as valid. So its up to him how he approaches this and when to introduce someone and you arent right to think you can override it

GingerdeadMan · 13/06/2026 21:13

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 09:40

So it’s ok for him to lie about situations involving my son? Personally I don’t think it’s ok to lie in any situation, especially when it involves my son.

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He's probably lying because you sound controlling and unreasonable.

I know that's harsh, and anything to do with your child is bound to be emotive, but your ex doesn't owe you information about his life, or a say in what he does🤷‍♀️ The sooner you accept that the happier you will all be.

If he's introduced this woman as a friend, where's the harm?
Are you sure your not just jealous about your son spending time with her?

No one will ever replace you, youre his mum.

But if you don't calm down and back off you're going to cause all sort of conflict with his dad and you'll be in for a very difficult next 10 years or so until he grows up.

SnappyUmberLion · 13/06/2026 21:07

Acheyelbows · 13/06/2026 20:47

Who is even responding on these threads any more? Some of the posters don't even sound like people who care about a child's best interests. It's really off putting that people have this opinion and are willing to argue it..it's everyone's business if a child is put in a risky position with a stranger, and especially the child's mother's business.

More often than not it sounds like posters just jumping on threads to tear the Op apart.

Literally everyone thinks OP is right to be concerned. They just don’t think OP can control when her ex introduces his son to his girlfriend, because she can’t.

Acheyelbows · 13/06/2026 20:47

Who is even responding on these threads any more? Some of the posters don't even sound like people who care about a child's best interests. It's really off putting that people have this opinion and are willing to argue it..it's everyone's business if a child is put in a risky position with a stranger, and especially the child's mother's business.

More often than not it sounds like posters just jumping on threads to tear the Op apart.

Original poster

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 20:31

saraclara · 13/06/2026 17:28

I thought she was a friend? And that it's a friendship that's just recently developed into relationship potential?

Now he's only known her for two weeks?

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He said she was a friend initially (2 weeks ago), last night he said she was a friend he was taking it slowly with, this morning he’s confident he has a future with her. Who knows what she is but she certainly isn’t and never was a friend.

OP posts:

Tuesdayschild50 · 13/06/2026 18:43

You're right to be wary of this.. its not fair to any child to introduce them to someone who may not be a permanent part of a parents life .. its confusing and they do remember my son said this about his dad.
It gives a bad impression .

TheNarcissistsEx · 13/06/2026 18:41

If he’s already introducing his child to her, he’s not ‘taking things slow’. My (adult) children don’t see their dad now because they got sick of having to share him with new girlfriends.

Frillysweetpea · 13/06/2026 18:29

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 09:16

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”.
AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend.
I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

At that age my DC cried and was upset for months over leaving a dog they met on holiday - I really think you're reading too much into that. Why shouldn't adults have different friends that they see more or less of over time? As long as they are not being overtly sexual in front of him I do not get this Mumsnet obsession with ex's new partners meeting shared children.

saraclara · 13/06/2026 17:31

Fine, no problem. 2/3 days later he posted her on Instagram stories, and it was evident she’s not just a friend from whatever he said on that post.

What did he say on the post @Pinkie89 ?

saraclara · 13/06/2026 17:28

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 12:00

He’d known her 2 weeks, how can you possibly know a person well enough in that time to know she’s a “decent” person. In those two weeks, given he has our son on weekends, works during the week and has to sleep he can’t have spent much time with her.

I know there’s nothing I can do, that wasn’t the question.

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I thought she was a friend? And that it's a friendship that's just recently developed into relationship potential?

Now he's only known her for two weeks?

BeWittyRobin · 13/06/2026 17:26

Unfortunately it has nothing to do with you. Assuming he has parental responsibility then it’s his decision who and when he introduces others to your son. You have no say

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 16:02

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dinoderry · 13/06/2026 15:57

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Nowhere on this thread has she implied she will do anything further than speak to her ex and support her son, which is the right thing to do IMO.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 15:44

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dinoderry · 13/06/2026 15:29

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She’s pissed off that her ex is a shitbag. It’s normal to be angry when someone is acting in a way which is counter to the best interests of your child.

I think she’s well aware that she can’t control it. All she can do is speak to him about it, which she has already done.

Pherian · 13/06/2026 15:24

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 09:16

Ex partner introduced our son (7) to a “friend he’s taking things slow with”.
AIBU to think this is abnormal and concerning? Honestly I’m so angry and he’s completely betrayed my trust. I asked him out right who this girl was 2 weeks ago after my son mentioned her and whether it was someone he was dating and he said no it’s a friend, a few days later he’s posting her on Instagram and evidently she’s not just a friend.
I don’t think he’s known her long, they spent the last 2 Saturdays together, with my son. In my eyes that is not taking it slow and he shouldn’t be introducing him to people he’s know 5 mins! He’s done this once before and it ended within a month and my son is still upset he doesn’t get to see her dogs… 2 years later! Now he’s excited about this ones cats! My mum introduced me to lots of men which really wasn’t nice so I don’t know if this is clouding my judgement? But I would never introduce him to someone I was “taking it slow with”.

Unfortunately, You cannot do anything about this and what happens in your ex's house isn't something you have any control over.

Papster · 13/06/2026 15:24

Pinkie89 · 13/06/2026 09:44

It’s definitely not a friend. It’s gone from being a friend he’s taking things slow with, to something that’s going to last long term in the space of half an hour… which would obviously be less concerning if it were true.

If the shoe was on the other foot and I introduced him to every guy I dated I would fully expect his dad to be concerned.

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Blimey.
How many have there been?!

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 15:21

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NovemberMorn · 13/06/2026 15:17

dinoderry · 13/06/2026 15:08

I suspect a lot of them are part of the second wife/step mum brigade. They see a mother trying to protect the best interests of her son, and view it as a woman trying to exert control over a man because she’s jealous 🥴

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There are some very odd ways of looking at the world on Mumsnet.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 15:09

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dinoderry · 13/06/2026 15:08

NovemberMorn · 13/06/2026 14:32

honestly, I suspect half the people who are on this thread are not mothers.

I fully understand your concerns OP, I wouldn't like it either. Kids can get attached to people very quickly, and as you said, they can also get attached to peoples pets. It's certainly not fair on your little boy for women to be introduced, get close....then gone after he has formed an attachment.

You cant do anything about your ex taking your child to see his other woman/women, but I would gently be asking your son what he has done in the times he is with your ex. If you suspect he is being left alone, or that he isn't being cared for properly....then that is certainly your business.
If he is, I would try to come to terms with the fact your ex has moved on, and hopefully the new woman is caring towards your son, and more of a permanent fixture in his life.

I suspect a lot of them are part of the second wife/step mum brigade. They see a mother trying to protect the best interests of her son, and view it as a woman trying to exert control over a man because she’s jealous 🥴

EmmaB1309 · 13/06/2026 15:07

Sitting back and watching the double standards unfold. A woman on here got absolutely flamed yesterday for living with a guy she had been with for three years and was getting married to, because her daughter didn’t like him. Yet here a woman is being told it’s none of her business that her ex has introduced a partner of five minutes to their son.
Yanbu.

Reptilesthatiswhattheyare · 13/06/2026 14:58

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