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Original poster

Why does my daughter’s father say this kind of stuff?

37 replies

MyTrivia · 13/06/2026 00:13

He’s so embarrassing. He seems to rub people up the wrong way. And then complain that coworkers don’t support him etc.

Sometimes, when I meet dd from school he turns up at the same time. The other day there was a mum there that I was taking to. She was asking how my dd was now because she had been being bullied.

Then I asked her how her dc was.
‘oh ok, she said but he’s not enjoying maths. He finds it hard’.

DDs dad pipes up ‘oh you should find him a tutor. I have noticed how maths affects the entire curriculum if a child is struggling ’. The kids are only 6 years old!

Why is he so obnoxious? If I try to talk to him about his attitude, it always ends in a big argument. We aren’t together btw.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyTrivia · 14/06/2026 03:35

Because I feel that it’s rude to say to a parent at school, who I will have to see for quite a number of years that her 6 year old child needs a tutor. Just because she happened to say that he doesn’t like maths. It’s like saying ‘your child clearly isn’t academic - you’d better sort him out’.

He talks to people in a lecturing tone and it’s so embarrassing.

OP posts:
NotAnotherScarf · 13/06/2026 22:54

Obviously you don't like him. Clearly. But he said something he clearly thinks is right and important...he may actually be right. It's not like he asked the other mum for a date. So why did you feel so strongly about it?

Original poster
MyTrivia · 13/06/2026 22:48

Well, it’s funny you guys should say this because I’m autistic but I regularly cringe at the things he says to people.

Sometimes I do wonder if he’s undiagnosed autistic because I wonder why else he would have been attracted to me in the first place (NT people find me very unusual and hard to understand). He’s adamant he’s not. But he’s definitely lacking something…

Autistic men can be very selfish and without a filter. I think autistic women usually have more enpathy.

OP posts:
GotMarriedInCornwall · 13/06/2026 21:26

Sounds like the sort of thing I would say thinking I was being helpful (because it’s an accurate statement), but then later realise that people didn’t want to hear it and don’t like me as a result.
Undiagnosed neurodivergent.
We’re not deliberately being twats!

Although if he’s making jokes at your expense and then dismissing you, that is just twatty.

MargotGobby · 13/06/2026 20:31

Sounds like my autistic husband. He actually has a heart of gold but manages to rub so many people up the wrong way. 😬

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 13/06/2026 20:10

Possible undiagnosed autism? 😬

IMTHECRAZYOLDLADY · 13/06/2026 18:53

Doesn’t sound socially awkward to me, sounds like a narcissist, he makes jokes at your expense? He knows exactly what he’s doing

Original poster
MyTrivia · 13/06/2026 17:13

Yes that is the problem - he can’t read a room and he goes around offending people all the time who then want nothing more to do with him. He keeps changing jobs because he alienates work colleagues. His tone is usually the problem. Sometimes he is joking but people don’t see the joke!

I don’t think he is deliberately malicious. He just hasn’t been brought up properly. He is rude to me as well and will put me down to our daughter as a ‘joke’.

Unfortunately he just turns up on a whim whether I will be there or not.

OP posts:
OKJC · 13/06/2026 10:44

Gosh I thought it was going to be something completely inappropriate, that sounds fine.

Meadowfinch · 13/06/2026 07:03

Sounds like he was trying to join in as a parent, but is socially a bit clumsy. Not everyone is good at reading a room. School gate conversations are not the easiest to judge.

Just arrange different days to do the pickup, and then he won't irritate you.

whippersnapper55 · 13/06/2026 06:52

Well he piped up with an opinion you don't agree with but that hardly sounds like the crime of the century! You're not a couple, his behaviour doesn't reflect on you. Why is he turning up at the school, doesn't he have set days/times to see your daughter?

AnonymityAnonymity · 13/06/2026 00:33

The kids are only 6 years old!
Sorry OP but this really made me laugh.

It sounds as though he was trying to make himself sound knowledgeable and important by giving advice on education.
He sounds as though he has a high opinion of himself.