Was DP’s comment to waiter ‘encouraging’ or crass?

I just don't look for ways to be offended by things you obviously do and thats ok if thats how you choose to live your life. If that was said to me I wouldn't think twice about it obviously if it was said to you, you would be deeply hurt over it and stew over it but where all different. I think we need to agree to disagree as I don't want you getting upset and offended because of something I've said to you.

😂 because “break a leg” is anything close to referring to a pulsating arsehole. Are you being deliberately obtuse? 😂

Nope, you’re still not getting it. I am a Russian immigrant and I’ve heard the saying multiple times (lived in two Northern cities where I’ve heard it used, before moving to London)

You’re not an enlightened being that knows more than the rest of us. We just recognise crass language where you don’t.

Do you feel the same about other sayings like you've got some balls to do that. Or you was of your tit's last night, getting something of your chest. Break a leg, keep your eye on it, play it by ear. There all common sayings that include body parts.

Because the majority of the thread hadn't heard the saying but I assume where op, dp and the waiter live its one of the areas where it is said

As I said, it is still crass an rude

“In some areas” also says a lot. Look at the majority vote on this thread, you are the minority not me.

I was giving you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't understand the fact you do and you understand its a common saying in some areas yet you choose to still be offended by it says a lot.

Awful.

Why would you assume I’m not aware of the saying? I am, and understand it entirely. It references when your anus pulsates during nervousness (a bit like a rabbits nose). I’m not analysing it too deeply- what is to analyse exactly? It’s uncouth to reference someone’s arsehole to a stranger at a dinner table.

Just because it’s a common saying doesn’t make it any less tactless.

I never said i was offended by it. I was however disgusted by such crude words being used in such a situation. Not all of us have foul mouths.

I had no idea what it meant. Probably most people wouldn't.
Now I do, I think it's the kind of unpleasant banter that some rather nasty little men like to use to unsettle people. In no way was it encouraging the waiter. At best your DP is an idiot with no social skills. Sadly, it was probably an intentional power play which makes him even more of an asshole.

Its a common saying to mean I bet your nervous you are analysing it far to deeply as I assume its a saying you are not familiar with.

What an absolute twat.

I wouldn’t really lead with this as a positive in this scenario, it’s not the strength a lot of people think it is. Within reason of course, taking offence to rudeness and unsavoury language demonstrates you’ve been brought up correctly with manners, and shows you have a healthy level of self respect. A random man makes a remark about my intimate part of my body like my bumhole? Yeah I’m offended. Not only would I be offended I’d be looking down on him, he’s dragging himself into the gutter with that language. The fact that this wouldn’t feel distasteful to you doesn’t mean you’re more enlightened than the rest of us.

Offence isn’t easy to feel when you are dragged up with no boundaries. It numbs you to it.

Nah, I just recalled a similar experience and described a more typical way of encouraging someone. :-)

It's not that unusual, it's just that some of the posters on here are too busy clutching their pearls to notice!
Never read such a snobbish thread before (and I've been here years), full of the fur-coat-and-no-knickers brigade (another phrase there for you to get all het up over, you can thank my middle-class, frightfully well spoken aunt for that gem)
People actually telling op to leave her husband over it!!! Ridiculous. Verging on sexual assault??? Fgs, get a grip!
It wasn't the best thing he could've said, no, but it was really not the heinous crime it's being made out to be!

I was brought up not to be offended over every little thing

You may use those sayings but the majority don't. Personally, i lived on what is now the most deprived estate in S.W Scotland but i was brought up not dragged up.

Does he work on a particularly old-fashioned building site? Because this is the only setting where I can imagine this being "banter". Grim.

Its not harassment its a common saying just like saying to someone you've got some balls or you was off your tits last night. And if it was harassment it wouldn't matter if the person was male or female

How embarrassing. In fact, if he’d said it to a woman, it could be considered as harassment so why say it to a male waiter. Urgh.

Quite. The PP is showing an inability to see beyond the one remark and look at the bigger picture. I would not be able to relax around a man who deemed it appropriate to say such things. I couldn’t introduce him to any of colleagues, friends in fear of him embarrassing me. Your spouse is a reflection of yourself.

I don't get offended by comments not said to me, how can it have offended you. You haven't offended me btw I was merely pointing out youd classless comment was snobby, that's all.
I am not bothered if my opinion is in the minority it is my opinion so it doesn't matter if others don't agree. People are allowed different opinions there is no wrong or right it's an opinion.
You asked if it was fact that it's classless and again it's your opinion that it is. An opinion cannot be a fact.

It demonstrates such a lack of class and intelligence, plus an inability to behave appropriately, that I just couldn't be with someone like that. And yes if he had called the waitress a cunt I would say the same thing. You would think that's ok?