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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel uneasy seeing a baby having his ear pierced?

138 replies

JoannaVictoria · 12/06/2026 16:44

My 11 year old daughter has been asking for a long time about getting her ears pierced and I have given in.

Went into a chain store to have them done and there were two women and the piercing lady who was very young holding down a baby boy (he must have been about one) ready to pierce his ear.

AIBU Im thinking this isn’t right?

I know it’s legal etc and Im not a judgemental person but it just felt so wrong. Needless to say we left as I didn’t want to witness it. He was already screaming and thrashing around.

It just seems so unnecessary at that age. Other people in the store didn’t seem to have an issue with it.

OP posts:
Flamingojune · 12/06/2026 22:13

missmollygreen · 12/06/2026 20:43

And that makes it ok?

No, it was a facetious remark

thestudio · 12/06/2026 22:08

ToddlerMum7473244w · 12/06/2026 16:49

I was born abroad where they pierce your ears right after birth if you're a girl! More hygienic and less drama than having it done at 11 in a supermarket.

But much, much more abusive.

Putting a child through unnecessary pain to conform to adults' totally random social norms is fucking disgusting.

DontTeaseMyDog · 12/06/2026 22:05

Backedoffhackedoff · 12/06/2026 21:03

I don’t think that’s actually legal. Children have to do PE

Yeah? Interesting. I didn't know it was illegal actually, but not my battle to fight anyway.

They've sent a few reminders out since about it too so it's 100% correct that they can't do PE if they can't take earrings out. I haven't misread or anything because I told my daughter it would be a summer holiday thing if we ever did it, although ear rings shouldn't be remove before 3 months.

MeetMeOnTheCorner · 12/06/2026 21:17

Should be 16 in my view. A baby - words fail me. A parenting low and the shop should not do it.

Backedoffhackedoff · 12/06/2026 21:12

SisterMidnight77 · 12/06/2026 21:04

I would hate to see an 11yo having their ears pierced too.

I’m sorry but that’s weird as fuck 🤣

PurpleFlower1983 · 12/06/2026 21:10

It’s awful and should be illegal until a child can consent. Hate seeing babies and toddlers with pierced ears, it’s hideous!

SisterMidnight77 · 12/06/2026 21:04

I would hate to see an 11yo having their ears pierced too.

Backedoffhackedoff · 12/06/2026 21:03

DontTeaseMyDog · 12/06/2026 20:59

My kids school have to have the kids be able to remove them themselves, or they don't get to do PE at all.

They have to sit out and watch, plasters aren't enough. They sent an email out around easter asking parents to not take their kids for piercings over the easter holiday.

I don’t think that’s actually legal. Children have to do PE

DontTeaseMyDog · 12/06/2026 20:59

Zoopet · 12/06/2026 20:54

It's also a health and safety risk when the kids are old enough for school.
All the schools I've worked in have insisted that earrings are covered with plasters for P.E.lessons.
This is not always effective and of course no coverings at playtimes.
Hoops in particular can accidentally be ripped out when kids are playing /rolling around.

My kids school have to have the kids be able to remove them themselves, or they don't get to do PE at all.

They have to sit out and watch, plasters aren't enough. They sent an email out around easter asking parents to not take their kids for piercings over the easter holiday.

DontTeaseMyDog · 12/06/2026 20:57

Idk why people think a kid would forget about it the day after. Ear piercings take 6 months + to heal, and actually can be pretty sore for weeks after. Even with proper jewelry and flatback studs.

Idk why people think the pain stops the moments the needles through?

You're also not supposed to sleep on a piercing for a few weeks, try telling a 8 month old they have to suddenly sleep on their back or be in pain. Nah.

My daughters 6 and has just started asking, it's a good age to explain all the ins and outs and care and the fact it's a forever thing. But we will stick with stick ons for another year at least.

Zoopet · 12/06/2026 20:54

It's also a health and safety risk when the kids are old enough for school.
All the schools I've worked in have insisted that earrings are covered with plasters for P.E.lessons.
This is not always effective and of course no coverings at playtimes.
Hoops in particular can accidentally be ripped out when kids are playing /rolling around.

missmollygreen · 12/06/2026 20:43

Flamingojune · 12/06/2026 17:23

Depends which kind, male is quicker than female

And that makes it ok?

godmum56 · 12/06/2026 20:42

igotitbadforyou · 12/06/2026 20:02

YABU. He will have forgotten about it already.

how do you know?

godmum56 · 12/06/2026 20:40

Yetanotherone12 · 12/06/2026 19:51

was he a pain specialist? Or a dr who wanted to reassure you you were doing the right thing?

I mean, he isn’t going to tell you that vaccinations really hurt and your baby will remember it for the rest of his life, is he?

the momentary pain from the vaccination far outweighs the risk.

there have been many pain studies in babies and it’s been shown it can have long term consequences. They used to not bother with pain relief in NICU, until studied showed babies did much better with effective pain relief.

this

Bingbongsingalong · 12/06/2026 20:38

Totally agree, it's assault and I wont back down on that. If I put holes in my child (without their consent) in any place other than their ears, i'd be in trouble, so why are ears okay? If people want to decorate something, get a bloody Christmas tree.

I often wonder how many babies who have had it done are bad sleepers? I have never been able to sleep with earrings in, it causes me literal pain, so I take them out, but babies can't communicate that they are uncomfortable!

Northernlights19 · 12/06/2026 20:26

Dweetfidilove · 12/06/2026 20:22

Bastard told me this in 2009. Can't trust anyone 😢

Edited

My point was you doctors don't know everything and knowledge and medicine is improving all the time.

BeWittyRobin · 12/06/2026 20:25

I completely agree with you. I haven’t had a set age with any of my girls, they got them done when they asked multiple times my eldest daughter was 6 she had been asking since she was 3, my second daughter was 9 and my third daughter was 12 when she asked. For me they have to be old enough to choose for themselves and to be able to look after them and keep them clean. Babies are an absolute no no and I do judge those that think it’s ok 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️

Backedoffhackedoff · 12/06/2026 20:25

PolkaDotPorridge · 12/06/2026 20:04

Chavvy and should be illegal!

Chavvy is an offensive term. It’s not 1997 anymore

Dweetfidilove · 12/06/2026 20:22

Northernlights19 · 12/06/2026 20:16

Doctors largely didn't realise babies could feel pain until the late 80s.

Bastard told me this in 2009. Can't trust anyone 😢

Northernlights19 · 12/06/2026 20:16

Dweetfidilove · 12/06/2026 17:00

The doctor who vaccinated my child told me babies forget pain very quickly 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Doctors largely didn't realise babies could feel pain until the late 80s.

LilacDrift · 12/06/2026 20:15

PolkaDotPorridge · 12/06/2026 20:14

Oh you’re so edgy 🤣🙄

I know.

PolkaDotPorridge · 12/06/2026 20:14

LilacDrift · 12/06/2026 20:08

Yeah! we got a 'chavvy'

Oh you’re so edgy 🤣🙄

Lyyt · 12/06/2026 20:13

plims · 12/06/2026 20:06

It’s got nothing to do with feminism, I’m really confused as to why you think it does, and whether or not it looks cute is irrelevant. Pinning a baby down to pierce its ears is barbaric and I seriously judge anyone who would do this simply because it looks ‘cute’.

(and you can’t apologise in advance at the end of a comment)

What it has to do with feminism is it could be interpreted I’m saying it’s ok to hurt girls ears for aesthetics but not boys.

Because it looks shit on boys. I opened this thread in two minds because I thought it would be about a girl. But a boy? Nope.

LilacDrift · 12/06/2026 20:08

Yeah! we got a 'chavvy'

plims · 12/06/2026 20:06

Lyyt · 12/06/2026 20:01

pierced ears can look cute on little girls, there’s definitely a debate to be had around whether it’s too painful and worth holding off though.

As for baby boys, no debate it just looks shit.

As I said not a very feminist thing to say and I apologise in advance

It’s got nothing to do with feminism, I’m really confused as to why you think it does, and whether or not it looks cute is irrelevant. Pinning a baby down to pierce its ears is barbaric and I seriously judge anyone who would do this simply because it looks ‘cute’.

(and you can’t apologise in advance at the end of a comment)