To ask for your 'It could be worse' stories?

Being SA by my father from the age of seven, then being raped by someone else at 14 as my boundaries were non existent.
DS (22) has had a lot of issues with drug and alcohol misuse as a teen, but is now doing amazingly well.
I'm just recovering from stage 3 bowel cancer.
I now just shrug and say to myself, 'what now?' and get on with it.
Challenges in life do teach resilience.

Lost my Dad to covid apr 2022, and nearly lost my mum to the same (hospitalised 3 times).

Early may 2022 husband out on his bike had a very near miss with a drunk driver - completely uninjured but could've been completely different.

2 weeks later my brother (only sibling) had series of strokes leaving him in a nursing home unleashing terrible financial problems for his wife.

Lots of awful stories on here...

I think we blame ourselves as a way to make sense of it, a reason why. If we could control things like that it would of never of happened x

I went to collect some furniture from the town my Mum was living in, but didn't tell her I was going to be there. I could easily have dropped in for half an hour but I just kept driving. I was being lazy and selfish. The next day a policeman was on my doorstep, to tell me she had died the previous afternoon, and a neighbour had found her that morning.

Expecting my second child, half way through the pregnancy found out we were having another boy. I'd been hoping for a girl to have one of each so felt a bit disappointed. A few days later after giving myself a taking to, I felt grateful for having a healthy baby.

A couple of weeks after that while on holiday got a call to say routine tests had confirmed a condition not compatible with life. A week later while still trying to process it, I went into labour and he was stillborn. The months after are just a blur. I thought I was managing ok but it was like I was walking round in a big black cloud. I stupidly convinced myself that I'd caused it by hoping for a girl.

I was in the hospital for over a month with septicaemia in my leg and foot.

The doctors gave me 48 hours to live if they couldn't catch it in time.

All the medics were absolutely brilliant except one ''nurse'' who coldly told me ''Oh well, it could be a lot worse''.

No, it bloody well couldn't be! I was literally screaming and crying with it!

I'm being treated for cancer - but I'm still alive
I've just been told I have cataracts - but I can still see

My uncle (45) and my father (55) died within 8 days of each other. It was painful but presumably much worse for my grandparents as their two sons.

Mine is nothing compared to what some go through. A few years ago several things all happened in a short space of time and I ended up putting bills on credit cards, not eating to save money, stupidly not taking antidepressants every day to try and prolong between paying for prescriptions. It was horrendous and after carefully planning what to do I went out to take my own life. When I started to feel a bit better it was looking for tiny positives and reminding myself of how things could be worse that helped me focus on feeling better.

And yes, there is always a chance of similar awful things happening to me.

But on balance - and this will sound awful to say - but my health issues were the worst thing - even more terrifying and terrible than watching my poor brother pass away from cancer, or when I had emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy, or being made redundant three times.

Obviously my health issues don't negate how dreadful these situations were in themselves per se, but they are absolutely at the worst end of the scale - the fact my movement disorder won't ever go away completely and has irrevocably altered my life for the worst... that's the hardest pill to swallow (pun totally intended..!)

Huge hugs to you.

And, similarly, my children have definitely helped me through my grief and surving my trauma (see upthread) too. I'm so grateful to have them 💓

It actually won't help you to compare because your pain is your pain.

Not horrible, but very difficult:
While pregnant: being my mum's care-giver, at her bedside 12 hours a day for 6 weeks while she was in hospital, essentially doing LPN work for her as hospital was woefully short of staff, then caring for her at home right up until I gave birth by c-section, then once home back to caring for my mum, new baby and myself. Then being admitted to hospital with my very ill newborn at 7 days old for some sort of infection that was never determined. All during the pandemic and a horribly hot summer that included at 42c heat dome. Then caring for all of us when we came down with Covid/Omicron two months later.

My daughter being kidnapped when she was a toddler.

My wife was diagnosed with an inoperable termibal cancer that resisted all attempts at at least prolonging her life.

I only got through this because there were 2 very young daughters that needed their fathe.

They will never know how much their just existing helped me through my grief.

Getting diagnosed with a cardiac tumour needing emergency open heart surgery to remove in the middle of the first lockdown. My other organs were starting to fail due to the blockage of blood flow.

No-one was allowed to visit, there was a chance I wouldn't survive the surgery, and I had to tell my family over WhatsApp.

Last year, I lost four loved ones, my job (the day I got back from a funeral I planned, lovely people) and my partner. Had an operation. Didn’t think I’d survive it all. But I’m here and thriving but changed.

My sister died of breast cancer in her 30’s then my DH was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and died two days after my Dad also died while my daughter was seriously ill with a life threatening disease aged 13. She survived.

I had my first baby when I was 21 and I gave birth on mothers day. He died 2 hours after he was born.

I'm 34 now and my jaw amd face still hurt everytime I think about him. I had 2 more dc after him and my youngest was his double as a newborn. So much so that my brain couldn't compute it and I kept accidently calling my youngest by my eldests name

I'll never forget how small his coffin was

It's given me an awful awful fear of losing my children. I see danger and possibilities of death everywhere

I went into hospital 2 and a half years ago because I had no movement. I was 30 weeks pregnant with my identical twin boys. They were due to be born in 6 weeks as identicals are high risk.

However a scan revealed my first twin had died. I was rushed into a cat 1 emergancy csrction as my second boy was fading. They were born, my living twin was resusitated and rushed away into the NICU. We were told he was critical but I couldnt see him yet as I was still numb from the epidural. He survived the night and we went back and forth to the Nicu while mourning our other twin who had died. Unfirtunately, on day three he suffered a pulmonary haemorage which led to a grade 4 brain bleed.

We met with the nicu team and after a hard and long talk we decided hospice was the best option for our beautiful boy. His birth and recent episode meant he would suffer terribly and likely pass in the next few days by another episode. We stopped treatment that night and ventilation and he passed away in mine and his dad's arms with his brother beside us. We walked out of the hospital with empty arms.

That was 2 and a half years ago.

I had a horrible head injury (mild TBI) and post concussion syndrome a decade ago, and was injured permanently by an off label antipsychotic prescribed for severe insomnia and anxiety after the head injury.

The post concussion syndrome was probably the worst time of my life, and the physical and mental symptoms were so all-emcompassing and severe that I didn't sleep at all for nearly a week, and had a breakdown.

My GP then polydrugged me with horrendous psychotropic drugs, including a potent first generation typical antipsychotic called Pericyazine. I had an awful adverse reaction to it, and it gave me a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia that is a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined 💔

Norhing in my life has come remotely close to being so awful, especially during the post concussion syndrome time when my brain felt very slow and like there was a block of concrete in it, or when almost my whole body was having involuntary movements, even off the drugs. The worst symptom of my movement disorder so far has been the weird writhing movements of my tongue, when it twists from side to side on its own.

Yep. It's not fun being me at times 😕

My sister died in an rtc, that one phone call changed my perspective on everything. I lived in a state of shock for 6 months. She was barely 20 at the time. That same week I tested positive for my second although planned the mix of emotions was incredibly hard. It still is 13 years on.

Medics (including 2 senior psychiatrists & a clinical psychologist I saw privately for 5 years) missed that I had OCD. Ended up seriously suidical, diagnosed with treatment resistant depression & prescribed high quantities of meds, which in turn caused other health issues. I still have OCD & the other health issues, but no longer suicidal. The day I was correctly diagnosed was the day things started to improve.

Sorry for all your losses. It’s unimaginable how you’d cope. 💐

One of my children was born and needed immediate medical help, I went into hospital in August and didn’t leave until
October. He was in the NICU for over 6 weeks and there were a few hairy moments with him along the way (multiple
surgeries, meningitis scare). And we were the lucky ones, quite a few times I saw a shell shocked couple gathered around a crib just having had a baby, then in the evening a curtain, then after that never saw them again. Absolutely devastating.

The experience changed me forever, perhaps not totally for the better but it certainly puts other stuff into perspective.