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Original poster

Uncomfortable with new manager but colleague disagrees

84 replies

MManchesterrain · 11/06/2026 21:04

We’re getting a new manager next week. I’m a manager myself, working alongside 7/8 others, and we will be reporting in to him.

He is moving across from another part of the business. There is always gossip in our company and it’s a fairly small town we work in so lots of people know each other.

Anyway, it’s known that he went through a disciplinary process recently during which he was suspended, and people were surprised he kept his job. What happened is something people are aware of, and he is being moved across not through his choice.

4 of us are women and would feel uncomfortable being managed by him. 3 of us want to speak to our senior manager to see explain this and that we are uncomfortable being managed by him, but the other is strongly against this and thinks it will mark our cards and make us appear difficult.

Would it be wrong to proceed against her wishes?

OP posts:
ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 11/06/2026 21:33

does she lack capacity or is under the age of consent ?

Original poster
MManchesterrain · 11/06/2026 21:31

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 11/06/2026 21:25

But it was a consensual relationship? No suggestion he was harassing her?

I don’t know. There was an age gap and he was married.

OP posts:
Rooroobear · 11/06/2026 21:29

Sounds a lot like a recent thread where the ops husband was suspended for similar reasons…..🤔🤔

JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 11/06/2026 21:25

But it was a consensual relationship? No suggestion he was harassing her?

Original poster
MManchesterrain · 11/06/2026 21:24

Notatallanamechange · 11/06/2026 21:14

What was the disciplinary for? That’s what whether YABU hinges on.

Sexual relations with a direct report (who appears to have left the company, unsure if by her own accord or dismissed)

OP posts:
Pistachiocake · 11/06/2026 21:19

Sometimes people can be victims of gossip. Just be aware and ready to react if he does do anything, but only if he actually does something. If a friend/family member of yours had been falsely accused, you wouldn't want their life ruined.

Notatallanamechange · 11/06/2026 21:14

What was the disciplinary for? That’s what whether YABU hinges on.

Gazelda · 11/06/2026 21:11

While I understand you don’t wish to be managed by him (presumably there was some sort of sexual harassment or discrimination element to the disciplinary) the senior manager is likely to frown on you for gossiping.

and you absolutely shouldn’t speak with anyone on behalf of the fourth member of the group. You have no right to speak on her behalf or imply that she might be part of the complaining group. I’d take a very dim view if I was a manager and some of the team came to me with an argument which started with “we’ve heard that x and we all agree y”.

its a difficult situation. But you need to address it professionally, particularly as you are in a management role.

WilfredsPies · 11/06/2026 21:09

No, you wouldn’t be unreasonable at all to proceed against her wishes. She doesn’t get to dictate your concerns. But you do need to make it very clear that she wants nothing to do with it and that she doesn’t share your opinion.

Out of interest, was the disciplinary to do with his behaviour towards women in the workplace? Is that why you don’t want him to manage you?

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