Uncomfortable with new manager but colleague disagrees

I’m concerned that a woman left the company not the man. I would be having a chat with the manager who is moving him over. Leopards do not change their spots.

This is gossip. Unless you know all the details of his disciplinary and have clear evidence that it wasn’t managed appropriately, you don’t have a leg to stand on. Leave him alone and let him do his job.

Well as long as you don't start shagging him there shouldn't be an issue??!

They are aware of the issue if there has been a dissaplinary. What new information are you wanting to present the boss with?

Assume this was a consenting relationship. Otherwise he would not still be there. What are your concerns? That he will lure any of you in to another affair? Just don't do that. Problem solved. He is a shit man for what he has done to his wife, but that doesn't mean he will be a shit manager.

Then don’t have sexual relations with him and all will be well ffs

Are you expecting him to want to sleep with all of you too or something?

I'm just struggling to see what your actual grievance is

As a manager Im surprised your asking, however the fact you know about the details of the disciplinary and you and a group of other managers are discussing and potentially co ordinating regarding it tells me none of you are partially HR or employment law savy

I ll tell you what I would tell you if you came to as a manager - Thanks for letting me know your concerns. However I would like to take an opportunity to direct you to our internal processes including disciplinary which includes confidentiality. My expectations for the management team is XXX.

If there are specific issues in the day to day interactions or instructions provided that are not inline with said policies and procedures you can raise them via x.

Then I would expect you to get on with it.

Well, speak up if you like, obviously, but if there’s no suggestion of coercion or abuse of power and it was a consensual relationship, I’m not sure where the discomfort lies?

It could be, but she’s said she doesn’t know any more than there was an age gap.

Even if it was consensual it can still be inappropriate/an abuse of power in the workplace

I’ve either forgotten or didn’t see the other thread, have you reported it Roo?

What’s making you think it’s the same poster? Was talking to her like pulling hen’s teeth as well?

Again, what’s making you and the other two women uncomfortable about him managing you? If you can’t articulate your concerns here, what are you going to say to your current manager that’s going to make them take you seriously? His lack of morals and his behaviour are reasons not to be friends with him, but they are not reasons not to be managed by him.

His sexual relations outside his marriage have nothing to do with you. He is a manager in the organisation where you work, not your child's godfather.

So what exactly are you uncomfortable with? What would your complaint / worry actually be?

What are you uncomfortable about exactly? You seem to know bits of whispers.

Yeah, I am not sure what you are uncomfortable about.

It sounds like he had a questionable but consensual relationship, was investigated, and allowed to stay employed but not in that area. Which suggests there wasn't untoward behaviour.

If you were say, gay, and he had a history of homophobic remarks - I'd say you had cause for anticipatory concern.

But there is nothing to suggest he has a general issue managing women.

I think you are overreacting. I'm not sure why you're uncomfortable being managed by him unless he has history of sexual harassment. Sexual relationships are rife in organisations. Unless you are suggesting he will use his position to coerce you to provide sexual favours. In which case report it when it happens.

YABU. Your opinions on age gap relationships, affairs or workplace romances are immaterial. We all have to work with people we don't like or have very different values to us and it's unprofessional to pretend otherwise.

And the 4th member of your group is wrong about one thing if I've understood you correctly. If you are the manager under him and the other women report to you it will be you who will be seen to have encouraged gossip and you will be seen as the ringleader. It's your card that will be marked.

FFS just mind your own business and wait to see what he's like as a manager.

So future boss has had a morally questionable but not illegal relationship at work. What has that got to do with the three of you, exactly?

So what’s making you uncomfortable with being managed by him? If there was no suggestion of coercion or harassment and everything was entirely consensual, he’s just your standard grubby little sleazeball. Are you expecting your manager to go to his managers and tell them that you feel uncomfortable because the new bloke has the morals of a Tom cat? What are they supposed to do with that? Have you thought about the likely outcomes of this scenario?

It is possible that he could manage another team in another part of the business? Is that what you're hoping for?

I'd think it's perfectly reasonable for you to say us three are concerned, but very unreasonable to say us four are or we all are, or the department is.