If you send your child to private school…

Absolutely 💯 worth it. My kids are in private and I’m a teacher in a state school. State education is on its knees

My son started a £20k a year school in Y7. Yes it's worth it but we can only afford it as e have 1 kid. Also planning on him being there for 5years and finding somewhere else for A levels.

We considered it at primary level, but there are so many good primaries it wasn't worth it. I teach part time in a private school that is reception to y13, and I don't think it's worth the money in the junior school

Agreed. I don’t know what is meant by ‘normal working people’ in this context.
Neither my husband nor I went to private school. Neither of us come from wealthy families. We both went to university, and both got a place on a good grad scheme. We’ve both worked since, and both earn very good salaries. Neither of us earn over £100k. Does that make us not ‘normal working people’?

But (and to repeat my point above) there are some normal working people whose jobs pay a lot of money.

I do really feel that the lack of behaviour control in state is criminal these days. These are children’s lives. They shouldn’t have to go to school fearing witnessing or being a victim of physical attacks. Not everyone can afford to bail out to state with their anxious / ND child and these children deserve to learn in peace and safety too.

Don't forget the uniform, trips etc.

We can afford it as we’re mortgage free and on good salaries. We decided to spend on school than move to a much more expensive house in a better catchment area. Whether it’s worth it time will tell but my dc is getting a dyslexia investigation instead of me just being told they can’t read like I was when they were at state school so that is good. It isn’t 5k a month where I am either and we’re hoping to be able to help with uni and house deposits as well, though not a quarter of a mil for a terrace in Croydon 😁

I think it massively depends on the school and the child. SIL had both her children in private school - DNephew only just passed 2 GCSEs, which was a bit of a wakeup call, he went to a state college, did well in retakes and is very happy there. They moved DNiece to state secondary, it turns out she has some overlooked SpLDs and is now thriving there with the proper support. If you have really investigated the school and determined it is the best place for your child, I imagine it is worth the cost, if you just assume private must be better than state, it may not be.

We have three children all at private from reception.

I wouldn’t say it’s “worth it” in the same way a £2,500 handbag isn’t “worth it”. But people buy those (not me!!) because they can afford it and they want one.

for us we much prefer the sports, the music, the facilities, the class size, the discipline and the community over that which is offered at our local state school. Other state schools may differ.

so in the same way those people choose to buy the handbag that’s not worth it even though they could do better things with their money, we choose to pay for the school of our choice.

we don’t regret it and are very happy customers.

Normal working people can still earn a lot of money.

I had a son and daughter that both went to a private secondary school. They had been very happy in their lovely village state primary.

The village state secondary was not bad, but I wanted them to have the sort of 'grammar school' experience that I had had, for free. Lovely environment, single sex, there to work but plenty of opportunity for fun.

It was a financial sacrifice - was it worth it?

My son didn't much like it - he stayed until he was 16 when he went to a state sixth form college with all his village friends. We were lucky, this state 6th form was one of the best in the country.

My daughter loved her time there and stayed until A levels.

I don't regret sending them at all. I think my daughter would love to send her children, but won't be able to afford it. My son? He'll probably find a decent state school somewhere.

Certainly not why we do it either. Their private school is so much safer as they can kick dangerous pupils out. The academic side is good too as you are a customer so they try their hardest to meet the subjects your child wants to study, and the lack of behavioural issues makes study time far, far more productive. But the teachers in state are just as good.

I should say fees would be slightly higher at ours but they are both on academic scholarships, with a fee reduction.

Yes it’s worth it because she was so unhappy almost ill in state school. She needed somewhere small with very little bad behaviour. Her outstanding state school was frankly dangerous- kids shouting swearing fighting. Teachers crying. Awful.

Jeez how much do you earn to be able to keep your lifestyle exactly the same?

Yes remarkable that she was able to pay the 200 odd thousand in school fees with the 280 thousand she inherited.

Normal working person here, single mum, with one grandparent contributing towards one term a year. Up north.

Small classes, amazing SEND support, extra-curricular stuff that is hugely confidence-building for my child.

Downsized house, old car, modest lifestyle including holidays. Utterly skint most of the time. But all of it by choice.

Worth every single penny. A happy and fulfilled child, and a happy mum.

Our take home is similar, and fees £3k a month. Our mortgage is only £800 a month though, so it’s just doable for us.

Our local ones are around 18k a year for day school to be fair so it wouldn’t quite be the 60k of the other post. But then there’s extras on top of that and things like school trips. We take home about 8k a month and 3k would go on school fees. Maybe we could do it if we really stretched ourselves but our mortgage is 2.3k a month and bills about 600. Then food, petrol and general living expenses another 1500 or so. Maybe we could do it now I’m looking at the figures. But there’d be no savings and no holidays.

Worth every penny for my children. If you have kids who you feel would do just as well in your local state option then I’m glad for you and yes, you should save that money. We tried our local state options and my kids would’ve ended up with mh issues they were so unhappy.

as for the whole ‘invest the money compound interest’ stuff - a good education and a good attitude to learning skills, trying things, enjoying and not enduring your life, that also compounds over your life.

A £280k windfall is a huge thing and, again, is a privilege. Trying to pretend it’s not is really bizarre imo

Not really. My friend sends her daughter to a very expensive private school in Brighton, 35k per year plus.

She's been there for 5yrs, all paid for via the sale of her deceased grandmothers 2 bed bungalow in Wigan which she bought for £850 on 1959 and sold in 2020 for £280,000. It was tiny, knackered, but on a good plot, hence bulldozed for flats.

So, in this case a very humble, northern family managed to pay for a top school yr8 to Yr 13, and uni costs for a BA degree, all via the sale of a mediocre house.

Property and inheritance changes lives these days just as much as good jobs and salaries. The North, Wigan, ain't cheap any more... Watch homes under the hammer to see...

But that’s only if the reason you’re sending them to private school is for better grades. That’s not why we do it.

State school pupils do better than private once at Uni and at post graduate level so the cost of private from an academic point of view in the long term is questionable. Plus there is a wider question about what education is. Is it just about grades at A level eg or is it about preparing them for the wider world? Is it important for professional people eg doctors, teachers, employers, politicians etc to be able to relate to a wider range of people? Be aware of the challenges faced by poor people? By the disadvantaged?

Yes, it’s been absolutely transformative for my two. Our state options weren’t great, and instead they’ve thrived at the small friendly independent school near us. Both now hugely happy and really love it there. My own school-days were bloody miserable and that’s affected me my whole adult-life, so feel extremely fortunate that we could make the move to private.