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Original poster

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

263 replies

IrritatingToy · 11/06/2026 17:56

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

OP posts:
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18
WiggyClawsThe2nd · 11/06/2026 18:41

Steel pan.
I think the ones for kids are jummie drums....

HappyLouBella · 11/06/2026 18:41

These.

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old
Babyboomtastic · 11/06/2026 18:41
  • indoor dodgem to drive around (https://amzn.eu/d/0iTyediN)
  • possibly more mean than plain annoying, but bunchems 😬
  • dog training noise buttons (trust me I'm yet to find a kid that doesn't love them)
  • frozen recorder set
  • indoor kids drone
  • confetti cannon
  • glitter slime creation kit

Edited as I don't think the dodgem link worked. If you want something that uses up most of the budget, is bulky, loud, bright and incredibly annoying, I think this is your gift.

I'll post a picture of it below.

Throwmoneyatit · 11/06/2026 18:40

A musical hamper. Recorders, cymbals, harmonicas, shakers, tambourine, a whistle, one of those long things that became popular during a World Cup (can't remember what they're called though), a xylophone and a loud horn 😁

Loulou4022 · 11/06/2026 18:38

Glitter!! Gets bloody everywhere!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 18:38

franksmama · 11/06/2026 18:15

My DS has the most annoying whistling crab toy. It whizzes around on the floor with flashing disco lights, whistling something that sounds a bit like The Lonely Goatherd. The tune repeats about every ten seconds 😵‍💫

It’ll set you back £10 on Amazon or I’ll post you the fucking thing for free

Is this for babies and has disco lights?

Bubblewrapart · 11/06/2026 18:37

Recorder or a penny whistle. Super simple to 'use' but hard to make actually sound good, More portable than a drum kit so less easy to escape to another room. Also whilst drums are annoying, a recorder makes way more of a shrieking sound which grates right up your spine. Loved by young children, despised by adults. Could buy a beginner recorder book to go with it and show them the basics of reading music so they really get into it.

I played the recorder for years and only discovered as an adult that even when it's played well my parents still find the sound detestable!

MadeofCheeese · 11/06/2026 18:37

Duckeyes!! Hopefully the link works!

oliviaAustin · 11/06/2026 18:37

Tickle Me Elmo. Haunting in its laughter.

secondchancesalooon · 11/06/2026 18:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

FortyFacedFuckers · 11/06/2026 18:35

Slime my partner was buying a huge box of slimes for his nieces for Christmas but I had to intervene as I don’t think there mum would have spoken to us again! My best friend bought my toddler son a full drum set just miniature 😂

AltitudeCheck · 11/06/2026 18:35

https://www.emmysmummy.com/poopsie-unicorn-review-a-unicorn-which-poops-slime

Slime pooping unicorn with sparkles??

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 18:35

CoverLikelyZebra · 11/06/2026 18:26

Sorry it's nowhere near your £100 budget but the most irritating child toy I have encountered was a Transformer Pteranadon that transformed into I think a helicopter or similar. The awful thing was that it had no off-switch and the batteries weren't user-accessible, and it was activated by the slightest movement near it, and would also randomly attract attention when you haven't played with it for a while, with a cycle of "fun" phrases and roars, it was so awful, unbearable to hear, but DS loved it. Middle of the night, checking if DS was asleep, it would detect me and yell "I'm Pteranodon! Let's PLAY!". Eventually its batteries ran out and then it was silent and that was OK. The item that comes up if you google for it now doesn't look the same, and does appear to have an off-switch, so sadly won't be nearly so irritating.

You win. Must’ve been complaints to get the on off switch installed/fixed and so on.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 18:33

Happyjoe · 11/06/2026 18:28

Drum kit.

Definitely.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 18:33

Voice controlled crawling spider, it only moves when the kid speaks to it.

Keyboard with microphone and preferably with recorded sounds like strong bass club music, my mum has one for her grandchildren and it’s never going to the kids house!

I would say get a snake or whatever pet parent is scared of. But that’s going a bit too far, is cruel and isn’t fair on the snake or other animals. You can always taunt the child with “what would you like for your birthday? Would you like me to buy you a snake next birthday?” Preferably in front of the parents.

ALovelyPinkUnicorn · 11/06/2026 18:30

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

Thanks @Soubriquet …. Now got the earworm, although you have taught me the words.. always thought was “Alfie tunes, 123” thought the bears name was Alfie Tunes! 😝

Cocktailsandcheese · 11/06/2026 18:29

CoverLikelyZebra · 11/06/2026 18:26

Sorry it's nowhere near your £100 budget but the most irritating child toy I have encountered was a Transformer Pteranadon that transformed into I think a helicopter or similar. The awful thing was that it had no off-switch and the batteries weren't user-accessible, and it was activated by the slightest movement near it, and would also randomly attract attention when you haven't played with it for a while, with a cycle of "fun" phrases and roars, it was so awful, unbearable to hear, but DS loved it. Middle of the night, checking if DS was asleep, it would detect me and yell "I'm Pteranodon! Let's PLAY!". Eventually its batteries ran out and then it was silent and that was OK. The item that comes up if you google for it now doesn't look the same, and does appear to have an off-switch, so sadly won't be nearly so irritating.

Hahaha this sounds perfect

Oppositesituation · 11/06/2026 18:29

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

Omg same!!! 🤣 🤣

Danikm151 · 11/06/2026 18:29

Fart gun, mini electric guitar that plays prerecorded things.
fart ninja… like 10 of them so they can hide loads round the house

ladymalfoy · 11/06/2026 18:29

Kinetic sand. I hated the stuff when DD was little

Happyjoe · 11/06/2026 18:28

Drum kit.

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 18:28

£100 is ridiculous to buy your niece or nephew a gift you aren’t even interested in them liking.

StepawayfromtheLindors · 11/06/2026 18:28

That dreadful Bop It! toy. Ended up in the bin after 24 hours of the DC torturing us with it.

SalmonofUnwisdom · 11/06/2026 18:28

The Gotta Go Turdle rates pretty high on the annoying scale, especially when you point out to the child that it will repeat what you say back to you in a really irritating voice (and the sand gets everywhere!).

www.amazon.co.uk/Little-Live-Pets-Interactive-Multicolor/dp/B0BZP3M9KH