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Original poster

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

263 replies

IrritatingToy · 11/06/2026 17:56

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

OP posts:
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18
CoralQuoter · 11/06/2026 19:14

Another vote for the recorder - horrible noise! Or a massive kilogram bag of pick and mix…

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 19:11

Well it’s nice to know that people are also traumatised by that stupid bear

fivepastmidnight · 11/06/2026 19:11

A recorder because nothing beats listening to the sound of what sounds like a van reversing in your living room. Those party things that you blow and they make noise as they blow out. You can buy a bag for about a quid and he will have loads. I bought my friend's son a voice changing megaphone - She really loved that, it was amazing how quickly the batteries seem to run out. Someone bought my son a children's ice cream maker It made the messiest , shittiest most expensive ice cream ever. if they haven't got any younger siblings that might choke on them, Anything with lots and lots of small parts that they'll drop everywhere.
however your sister is a legend and I think she will be hard to beat. You could take your child to play with her child and obviously he'd want to take his bagpipes And it would be an awful shame if you left them there.

MrMucker · 11/06/2026 19:03

One of those grabby sticks that they use for litter picking or as home aids for those who cannot stoop.
I ll put all my money on it ending up entangled in yer hair within 24 hours...

Ihatetomatoes · 11/06/2026 19:02

VividDeer · 11/06/2026 17:58

Slime... lots of slime

With glitter glue and feathers. Art projects

BoogieVoogieAllNightLong · 11/06/2026 19:02

Kinetic sand. My DD has banned it from her house after someone bought one of her children some.

DedododoDedadada · 11/06/2026 19:00

Loom bands, they end up everywhere

MabelAnderson · 11/06/2026 18:59

MadamNoo · 11/06/2026 17:58

Dh bought his godson a giant foam hulk fist that says ‘hulk smash!’ when you punch things. I can’t believe his parents still speak to us.

This made me laugh so much.

Miyagi99 · 11/06/2026 18:59

The sticky men that stick to everything when you throw them and a recorder, will only cost you a couple of quid but ridiculous to spend £100 on a 5 year old anyway.

Owly11 · 11/06/2026 18:58

🎻 violin

worldshottestmom · 11/06/2026 18:57

Cioccoholic · 11/06/2026 18:52

A nerf machine gun. It’s massive, violent, and the stupid little bullets go everywhere

My son has one of these and its great. The bullets are not. Hurts a lot when you get shot in the eye.

TopSecretSquirrel · 11/06/2026 18:54

A megaphone.
And a written list of suggestions for things to request using the megaphone.
’Muuuuummmmm, I’m hungry/awake/bored’

askmenothing · 11/06/2026 18:54

Temporary glitter tattoo set. Glitter and glue that gets everywhere!!

Blueberrymuffinbanana · 11/06/2026 18:53

A cheap pack of party whistles should do. Nothing worse than your kid pulling a party whistle out of the gift bag.

Cioccoholic · 11/06/2026 18:52

A nerf machine gun. It’s massive, violent, and the stupid little bullets go everywhere

askmenothing · 11/06/2026 18:52

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

My 14 year old still remembers the day I threw this bear out of a first floor window. The most annoying thing ever! AND if you ignored it for a while, it just randomly said ‘bye bye’ when you forgot it existed 🤬

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 11/06/2026 18:51

A huge blow up dinosaur 🦕. My brother bought one for my kids and it took up the bloody room. They loved it too 🤦🏻‍♀️

Besidemyselfwithworry · 11/06/2026 18:50

Turnitoffnonagain · 11/06/2026 18:09

A karaoke machine.

This 😂
althiugh bagpipes wins the prize you could always return the pleasure so they could play together as cousins with their bagpipes 🤣

whippersnapper55 · 11/06/2026 18:49

Drum kit? Or one of those toy fire engines with a really loud siren?

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 11/06/2026 18:48

The most boring and tedious game on the planet is Monopoly. Get them that and emphasise they should always play it with their mum.

if you want to go the musical instrument route (and it's a good one) I recommend the recorder. Like everyone, my DC learned the recorder in school. My daughter had violin lessons and the boy next door played the trumpet. They were all equally infuriating in the early stages but the recorder triumphs as continuing to be annoying even after the player gets good at it.

My younger DC played flute and guitar - neither were annoying at all. Steer clear of those.

Geneticsbunny · 11/06/2026 18:47

A huge bag of whistles

Babyboomtastic · 11/06/2026 18:46

Annoying as [insert expletive of choice here] kids toy

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 18:46

I got my 5 year old nephew a moving polemon Pikachu toy (£80?) it was meant for 8 upwards. My DB had to make it and it was very fiddly. Haven’t asked where it is lately.

fake blood always fun, yes nephew pranked me with it.

Large jelly stick on spiders that can be placed anywhere. Nephew once threw one at my mum when she was luckily in front seat of car (I was driving), she was not happy!