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Original poster

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

263 replies

IrritatingToy · 11/06/2026 17:56

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
TheUpperEchelonsOfMediocrity · 11/06/2026 20:33

Furby
Electronic battery operated microphone - all their own noise, but louder
Kids Alexa.

CluelessAboutBiology · 11/06/2026 20:32

@Cheesecakeismeesecake that is one ugly looking toy

@ThaneOfGlamis you are a genius

SleepsAThingOfThePast · 11/06/2026 20:31

Karaoke microphone or machine
Drums
Recorder

Chocolattecoffeecup · 11/06/2026 20:28

Musical instrument or something messy

Onlyforaweek · 11/06/2026 20:27

Sylvanians or poly pockets. Anything that requires tiny role play and that you kick over when you stand up.

Birch101 · 11/06/2026 20:19

One man band!

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old
YouDoIDo · 11/06/2026 20:19

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

Ahhhh, yes my son had one 16+ years ago and I can still remember that awful song. I actually sang your post to the tune 😩

TeaIsLovely · 11/06/2026 20:16

Boppit 100%. Failing that - glitter. Nerf gun.

ThatGreenFawn · 11/06/2026 20:15

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

Thanks for this reminder! I'm now rocking in the corner! This is an unbreakable toy and so annoying! Especially when it gets stuck under the seat in the car or when its running out of batteries (which takes about 5 years!) It through starts randomly singing,. Even when at the bottom of the toy box making you shit yourself at the possessed bloody bear!

socialdilemmawhattodo · 11/06/2026 20:14

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

See what I mean: VTECH. Company should be shut down.

curiouscat1987 · 11/06/2026 20:13

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

We have this currently! I dont mind it actually, theres far worse out there....

ThisAutumnTown · 11/06/2026 20:13

My sister bought my kids a mega pack of slime! It was huge and came with loads of glitter and sequins 🙈

socialdilemmawhattodo · 11/06/2026 20:13

SometimesTheIntrusiveThoughtsWin · 11/06/2026 18:09

Glitter. Boppit. Violin. Nerf guns. Sharpies.

No Boppit is great and so are Nerf guns. Sharpies always supervise!

Solasum · 11/06/2026 20:12

Lots of kazoos, one for every room.

A ukulele, ideally one that cannot be properly tuned.

Nerf guns and countless bullets. Bonus points if you get a selection of guns, and noisy targets.

Hama beads

RiskyBiz · 11/06/2026 20:11

The flamingo that sings UhOh gotta go and does a poo!
It's actually highly amusing the first couple times you play with it but the song starts to drive you mad and the kids flipping love it because it's about poo (this is definitely more of a boy thing so might not be so appealing if you have a DNiece) and then you'd have a nice budget to buy them a toy they will like.

socialdilemmawhattodo · 11/06/2026 20:11

Anything VTECH, or perhaps he's a little old. It makes noises, voices in an American accent, and certainly my kid didnt touch it. Dreadful. We had absolutely lovely rekatives who would always buy VTECH. Also glitter.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 20:08

DedododoDedadada · 11/06/2026 19:29

A violin, a beautiful instrument once mastered but hideous when they are learning

My DB had one at 6 years old. Said to help with his asthma playing it. He never mastered it and it vanished.

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/06/2026 20:07

Just remembered one......an indoor gymnastics bar. Takes up loads of room downstairs but creates an absolute racket if its upstairs with them jumping about on it! I escaped this but my friends DD was gifted one and she LOVES it, friend does not!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 20:06

Goldengirl123 · 11/06/2026 19:28

Anything that plays Baby Shark on a loop

I got dnephew a baby shark bath toy which did this. Now he doesn’t like baby shark but his toddler brother would like it and think it’s in a box they haven’t unpacked after they moved. It lived at my house for a while when he stayed over and the bloody thing randomly played out of nowhere a few times and scared the shit out of me so I gave it permanently to them.

Lostallhistory · 11/06/2026 20:05

m grandson had a musical dinosaur with flashing lights. It plays this sort of Greek style music and then roars , it goes on forever and the lights are migraine inducing

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/06/2026 20:02

853ax · 11/06/2026 19:33

I find the fishing game where it turns around and first snap up really annoying

Magnetic fish? That’s cute!

Dancingintherain09 · 11/06/2026 19:57

IrritatingToy · 11/06/2026 17:56

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

Electric drum pad set
Buy Vtech Kidi DJ Drums | Musical toys and instruments | Argos https://share.google/JKDAJb4p5F9ZEgsLr

Ineedtoseetobelieve32 · 11/06/2026 19:55

We engaged in a similar war with relatives! The worst one was the mini indoor trampoline they bought us..

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/06/2026 19:52

ThaneOfGlamis · 11/06/2026 18:20

A tonie box which only plays recordings of your child on the bagpipes.

This is my favourite! Evil genius level revenge!