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Original poster

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

263 replies

IrritatingToy · 11/06/2026 17:56

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

OP posts:
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18
neilyoungismyhero · 11/06/2026 22:02

My friend, whose top floor neighbour's young son has a proper drum set would tell you it's drums all the way.

Appleandcidergravy · 11/06/2026 22:02

A violin- see if you can get one on vinted. I am sure he will love squeaking the bow.....
With a whole host of musical small toys- train whistle, penny whistle, flute, fife, piccolo, recorder etc....
Or a set of cymbals.....

HoppityBun · 11/06/2026 21:58

Cobrakainerd · 11/06/2026 20:48

Violin or drums

A recorder and recorder lessons!

You can get drum kits for small children with a wide range of prices.

OneNewEagle · 11/06/2026 21:58

Mouth organ, recorder, drum kit, boppit and for the garden swing ball, Cricket set.

I would a hamper of annoying gifts …as for the bagpipes 🤣

clearlyy · 11/06/2026 21:51

Don’t spend that much, just get them a recorder!

user4903456342 · 11/06/2026 21:48

A gift voucher to Hamley's, but don't give it to him until the day before Christmas Eve.

Fireangels · 11/06/2026 21:47

Stylophone. It’s an electronic organ that you play with a pen stylus.
My late dad was a PR consultant when these first came out in the 70s and handled the publicity for the manufacturer.
I still remember him borrowing one for us kids to try and the unholy racket we made!!! 😂

https://www.gear4music.com/Keyboards-and-Pianos/Dubreq-Stylophone-GEN-X-2/7EOY?origin=product-ads&msclkid=d80ae1283e6f1dd842988b0320317cf3&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK%20-%20PMAX%20-%20Branded%20Products%20-%20All%20Categories%20-%20Group%20A,%20B%20(Low)&utm_term=2332545199425023&utm_content=Brand%20B1

whatcanthematterbe81 · 11/06/2026 21:44

Kinetic sand. And a harmonica

Aldiricecrispies · 11/06/2026 21:44

worldshottestmom · 11/06/2026 18:57

My son has one of these and its great. The bullets are not. Hurts a lot when you get shot in the eye.

Show quote history

I second this!! The most fun I’ve had in about 62856 years- I of course made the kids collect every bullet so I could check it worked for the 4th time whilst they cowered in the corner 😱

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 11/06/2026 21:43

Haven't seen any previous posts about them.
I give you - "Clackers".
70's toy. Can still be purchased on E.bay.

Blightfitting · 11/06/2026 21:40

Beads. Billions and billions and billions of beads.

janeshandbag · 11/06/2026 21:13

Bagpipes is INSPIRED

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 11/06/2026 21:02

Might be a bit young for them but my friend got my little one this and fucking hell. They love it but it shakes the entire house. When they hold it, their speech shudders like they're riding a bike across cobblestones. And it plays demonic circus tunes: https://www.thetoyshop.com//toys-under-10-pounds/Little-Lot-Jiggly-Jitter-Ball-Sensory-Toy/p/574369?gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21761045694&gbraid=0AAAAAD8GR-t71gZlN7Jvr64MMOIdaq_aC&gclid=CjwKCAjwuanRBhBSEiwAY5y6V6YdUYkYsEzQzv4lRjku8iJi-3iwDM2bqqE-phQBpwieyXoksyRAWRoCJ0AQAvD_BwE

For the toddler to 8 year old market, this is extremely irritating, children adore it, and it's also weirdly twerking, which I thought was meant to be a sexual thing?! https://www.thetoyshop.com//electronic-toys/pets/Pets-Alive-Rainbow-Bonnie-the-Booty-Shakin%E2%80%99-Llama-Electronic-Pet-By-ZURU/p/543954?srsltid=AfmBOopAe-BLlKDYSc0cuAUL5f4EXfHNbQVxybxxzlVR4HuvNWMFrIXWccY

Lastly, I feel like a 5+ year old may enjoy Billy Bass... 🐟

LettuceAndCarrots · 11/06/2026 20:57

ElinoristhenewEnid · 11/06/2026 19:05

Or this one!

https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/gift-ideas-for-18-36-months/big-steps-old-macdonald-tractor-and-trailer/p/100364?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=12053229757&gbraid=0AAAAADF0j8Ig_HiE43Bu6XxOfbOkfWLSt&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiq-E8eL_lAMVtKJQBh2VGQBJEAQYASABEgISSvD_BwE

We had that! It wasn't annoying at all, my dc loved holding the little animals when they were 1 and only just learning to walk. Fond memories!

SunnyRedSnail · 11/06/2026 20:56

An inch worm.

MIL bought one for DS. Bang bang bang goes the floor boards.

WhatICallMyUsername · 11/06/2026 20:55

Silly Sausage. It’s like a more annoying version of Boppit but a sausage. You can keep your £100 and I’ll gladly send you ours!

I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old
tinyladybird · 11/06/2026 20:55

Karaoke machine, megaphone

Babyputyourpantson · 11/06/2026 20:54

Soubriquet · 11/06/2026 18:12

I’m still traumatised by this fucking bear my dd had a baby and she’s 13!!!

I can still hear the song

“I’m a friendly light up bear
ill teach you
one two three
a sleepy hungry happy bear
hey come and hug me”

I hate this thing with a fucking passion!! Ours went missing and them someone got it for DD2 and its also missing.

My contribution is this Hei Hei toy from Moana...he shrieks just like him...

ToffeePennie · 11/06/2026 20:53

My family didn’t understand our rule about slime/playdough/plaster of Paris kits.
I freaking HATE them, especially with the glitter ones, slime gets EVERYWHERE. And if it gets in hair or the bedding, you’re fucked.
Glitter slimes spray glitter all over the shop again.

Cobrakainerd · 11/06/2026 20:48

Violin or drums

Healthq · 11/06/2026 20:48

My sister bought a siren like this one, for my son to stick on top of his Little Tikes car. It was ear piercing and was thrown away within a day 🫨

amzn.eu/d/00sUJ5C9

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 11/06/2026 20:48

One of my best mates bought my eldest son a toy saxophone and the youngest a tambourine. I retorted with a FUCKING DRUM KIT. 😎😁

Peachy2005 · 11/06/2026 20:47

Bop It Tetris was the most annoying toy my kids had. I pulled it out of the cupboard about 2 years ago (kids then 17 and 18) and it still had battery life! The Furby was also really annoying, had to hide that in the attic.

Delphiniumandlupins · 11/06/2026 20:46

V-tech speaking stuff is pretty annoying. I'm trying to think of something very attractive to children but needs adult involvement, something which takes longer to set up and clear up than they actually play with it. Or violin lessons - not sure how many you get for £100.