I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

Mini bagpipes has cracked me up 😂

My DS got given a pack of ping pong balls from my in laws and omfg. They make the most annoying sound and richote everywhere around the house!

I bought my niece a recorder with a "how to play Frozen music" book when she was about the same age. My sister still hasn't forgiven me 🤣

Dd was given a vtech bath toy duck with a Jamaican accent that randomly sang at odd hours of the night. I binned it after 2 days.

www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/pre-school-and-electronic-learning/other-preschool/big-steps-waddles-the-waddle-duck-push-along-toy/p/218812

a vuvuzela! My friend got confused once and called it a gorgonzola

Or just give a card and fill it with glitter. Or a potters wheel, lots of messy wet clay.

Slime making laboratory. You can make glitter slime. Throw in a recorder and she'll be a nervous wreck by bedtime.

Ok, I have a new one.

https://www.thelittleislaco.com/products/monthly-sparkle-subscription-box?srsltid=AfmBOopXoMsJM5cTuwOKuIO6ksQVNUyQjIPxAjLz3oCfBce6j_Bes-5y

This is a glitter subscription box so the glitter keeps on arriving every month 😂

Joke, prank set. Fake poo, fart machine, invisible ink etc. Spy security set where the child can set up movement alarms.

And fill it with glitter.

She'll be finding it for years.

Oh my goodness mine had this too!! I'd repressed all memories of that bear but nope. Back in my head now 😂 definitely a good option to drive anyone insane

Also have to say mini bagpipes are just genius! Definitely think glitter/ slime are the right level of annoying (and fun for the child)

Nice and cheap but it’s actually a dog toy, a pig that makes the most awful loud squeak. Really annoying . Pets at home!

A drum kit.

AND a nice bottle of whisky for the parent/s.
The pain will not be simply external.

I think you need to badge this up as a subscription for your niece/neohew. Auntie will post you a new (annoying) toy every month! So fun to get post as a kid and reeeealllly gives you the ability to drag it out

Oh god yes. My dad got one for my DC, even he was stunned at how annoying it was.

When I was doing my PhD, I would leave wrapped gifts at the door of every child on Christmas eve as many student parents couldn't afford much during the holidays. My husband inexplicably found this hilarious and always wanted to know what went where so he could 'track results.'

One child in an upstairs apartment got given a dance mat.

I gifted one family with five children a pottery wheel with a selection of clay options and a book where you check off every creation you make (totalling about 150).

I got one energetic young boy a baseball bat, a ball and a thing to hit if off so he could practice in the car park.

A remote control furry hamster that sung in a high pitched voice as it drove around, provided with a big pack of batteries (nothing worse than having no batteries when you get a brand new toy)

A bezazzling kit with lots of extra glue so they could make everything sparkly.

A prank kit that I didn't check the contents properly of and it included 'buck urine' which stinks. You could DIY this if not available in your area.

Toy chainsaw for a child whose dad was doing a PhD in something to do with firebreaks/forest management. It was louder than I anticipated.

Tamagotchis the first year they came 'back'

I wish he'd told me I was creating enormous upset, but I did enjoy being the mystery Father Christmas for four years.

Oh my god, bagpipes are DEMONIC.

When my sister was small, my grandmother bought her this absolutely appalling train that played records as it chugged around. My mum was absolutely convinced it was just to drive her mad and if you watch the advert you'll understand why.

One of those mini speakers that comes with microphones with voice changers on.

Nothing more grating than a kid with a microphone screaming for hours in chipmunk mode.

Oooh my toddler has a hey duggee toy landline type phone with no off switch

Its currently in the boot. for ever

Duck rollercoaster

This and the noise of it will drive anyone around the bend.

A microphone that distorts his voice. You can get ones that also play music to sing along to.

I'm planning on buying my niblings a karaoke machine without volume control. I've seen one on Amazon.

I've previously bought them a toy spider that reacts to any loud noise, so they ended up with 3 kids walking around loudly clapping and shouting at random.

My kids were sent a kiddie drum kit 😏

None of my children have touched Boppit for a decade. Must be at the back of a cupboard somewhere though, because every few months it randomly shouts 'Boppit' in the night.

My daughter also had a teapot that shouted 'Now let's have a tea party!' in a broad accent (maybe Hull?)...from the loft! Thankfully that one has shut up now.

Anything along those lines would make a fantastic gift!!

If you want to stick with musical instruments, why not a nice metal xylophone with a stout beater?

My dad got a drum for Christmas when he was small. It disappeared mysteriously after half an hour and was never seen again.

My DD received Hama Beads we reciprocated with a bacteria growing set for her cousin.

A line was drawn and gifts are now consulted on.