Page 2 | I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

fedupandtired1 · 12/06/2026 20:28

John Lewis sell a toy accordion my ds had one when he was wee. Also furbies are very annoying especially when they go off on the middle of the night

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/06/2026 20:27

Blanketyblank04 · 12/06/2026 19:55

My sister bought my son a harmonica. I nearly threw out the window the other week!

That could be an extra for DNephew’s birthday this month. I mean his mum pays for him to attend expensive music lessons (they try lots of instruments/genres) so she can’t be annoyed!

Blanketyblank04 · 12/06/2026 19:55

My sister bought my son a harmonica. I nearly threw out the window the other week!

Jk987 · 12/06/2026 19:54

An electronic dance mat. They’re hideous.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/06/2026 19:42

Laura95167 · 12/06/2026 19:36

Remote controlled farting machine?

Edited

I thought this was some kind of olden days remote control operated only by farthings or producing farthings. 🤣

Laura95167 · 12/06/2026 19:42

DamonFoxPackingUpNorthernSoul · 12/06/2026 19:40

Or six pence..sorry couldn't resist.🙋

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Haha my autocorrect clearly thinks im politer than I am

MissVerucaSalt · 12/06/2026 19:42

IrritatingToy · 11/06/2026 17:56

My sister and I are in a war of annoying toys, she bought my 3 year old a set of mini bagpipes.. I need the most annoying but equally awesome for the child at 5 years old. I want something that she’s going to despise and he’s going to love. Budget about £100. I’m not unreasonable but she was to buy mine bloody bagpipes!!

Accordion. Thank me later! 🤣

DamonFoxPackingUpNorthernSoul · 12/06/2026 19:40

Laura95167 · 12/06/2026 19:36

Remote controlled farting machine?

Edited

Or six pence..sorry couldn't resist.🙋

Laura95167 · 12/06/2026 19:39

Kayoke machine?

PonyPatter44 · 12/06/2026 19:37

The Frozen recorder set and a massive tub of glitter.

Laura95167 · 12/06/2026 19:36

Remote controlled farting machine?

DamonFoxPackingUpNorthernSoul · 12/06/2026 19:14

Tin drum

Snugglemonkey · 12/06/2026 19:10

franksmama · 11/06/2026 18:15

My DS has the most annoying whistling crab toy. It whizzes around on the floor with flashing disco lights, whistling something that sounds a bit like The Lonely Goatherd. The tune repeats about every ten seconds 😵‍💫

It’ll set you back £10 on Amazon or I’ll post you the fucking thing for free

My child had this. It is incredibly annoying. On the plus side, she was scared of it, so it was disappeared!

LOCOJDS · 12/06/2026 19:06

mine had a grabber machine that I put sweets in, but the music it played everytime they played with it was awful. like twangy fairground music. but the kids loved the machine

Cheesecakeismeesecake · 12/06/2026 18:24

MagnesiumBathSalts · 12/06/2026 18:18

How about a box of kazoos 😅

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200 kazoos 🙉

Ultravox · 12/06/2026 18:22

You need a sound effects machine - one that does fart noises as part of it. And perhaps a voice changing megaphone?

MagnesiumBathSalts · 12/06/2026 18:18

Cheesecakeismeesecake · 11/06/2026 18:10

Kazoo, about 50p!

....leaving you approx £99.50 to do something really annoying like spend it on yourself misses point

Edited due to terrible maths

Edited

How about a box of kazoos 😅

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/06/2026 18:17

AImportantMermaid · 12/06/2026 17:39

What about a kids techno DJ set?

Mix Beats, Play Music and Create Your Own DJ World
www.amazon.co.uk/vdp/143905912fa448aabf12ecf9438b3da6?ref=anp_ios_dp-media-block_share&aci=amzn1.vse.video.143905912fa448aabf12ecf9438b3da6

The manufacturers who make this are evil.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 12/06/2026 18:16

BestZebbie · 12/06/2026 13:36

Five is still maybe a bit young but next year get them Pokémon cards, a book listing all the pokemon and a substantial folder to keep the cards in so that they can catch em all (at great ongoing expense).

Edited

My DNephew has all this. He’s 7 (almost 8). There’s an animal like a Pikachu from Australia that I was tempted to buy him as a pet but thought better of it. He gets all things Pokémon from me though. Got him LE special cards recently £14!

AImportantMermaid · 12/06/2026 17:39

What about a kids techno DJ set?

Mix Beats, Play Music and Create Your Own DJ World
www.amazon.co.uk/vdp/143905912fa448aabf12ecf9438b3da6?ref=anp_ios_dp-media-block_share&aci=amzn1.vse.video.143905912fa448aabf12ecf9438b3da6

BestZebbie · 12/06/2026 13:36

Five is still maybe a bit young but next year get them Pokémon cards, a book listing all the pokemon and a substantial folder to keep the cards in so that they can catch em all (at great ongoing expense).

ProfessorBinturong · 12/06/2026 12:51

Babyboomtastic · 12/06/2026 11:27

Yep, like this.

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Ouch! Problem understood.

Shufflebumnessie · 12/06/2026 12:22

A recorder filled with glitter (obviously I'm joking, but can you imagine the noise & the mess!!).
Peppa Pig Musical Band set (although depends of if the child actually likes Peppa).
Minions & Monsters Fart blaster
https://www.smythstoys.com/uk/en-gb/toys/action-figures-and-playsets/minions/minions-and-monsters-mini-fart-blaster/p/255392?srsltid=AfmBOorIWqCD6BWnk4sxhA2G-h--wlp6YspqT40XB199uxRUkM95WmO8hQk

igelkott2026 · 12/06/2026 12:02

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 12/06/2026 09:45

As a nanny who’s about to leave a job where they’ve treated her like rubbish and wants to buy the 3yo a gift to go with their siblings drum set she’s bought them, where does one buy mini bagpipes?

https://www.thebagpipeshop.co.uk/products/kids-toy-bagpipes?srsltid=AfmBOorJXHMB9LDA-kdnrx9q4XjJV67ooyFd23SWkRfZOThpjEVq7jx

and https://www.amazon.co.uk/toy-bagpipes/s?k=toy+bagpipes

igelkott2026 · 12/06/2026 12:01

I saw the title and was going to suggest a recorder - and then I saw that you were trying to outdo bagpipes!😂