I need the most annoying toy for a 5 year old

An echo mike. Like a pink megaphone.

Howling here! Exorcism practice 🤣

Oh my God we had that bear, I'd blocked it out forgotten!
DH binned it eventually 😅

Weapons! The Royal Armoury shop has some great choices - I like the crossbow that fires wine corks, and the wooden swords and shields.

https://shop.royalarmouries.org/products/mini-crossbow-with-two-cork-bullets?_pos=2&_sid=50ff24a

I was quite irritated with a ‘friend’ who bought six year old DS a pair of boxing gloves…

Do they have a dog as you could also treat that to a goggle ball....ultra annoying. i know from experience :)

Not quite as the eyes arent silver but it looks VERY similar as does the movement so effectively is the monkey, minus the horrible glittery silver eyes

It was snapped up on Vinted, maybe as exorcism practice? 😂

Is this the monkey?!

My mum’s neighbours regifted her annoying DCs toys to my mum for her grandchildren. So:-

ice cream cart which sings and talks. The ice cream bits like toppings, ice cream, cornets get lost easily.
Farm barn with different separate animal noises (chicken, pig).
keyboard with microphone and noises like meow/club music heavy bass lines.
fire station with sirens (loud and flashing)

These seem tame to sons of the other options.

I bought the toddler when a baby, a rolling moving noises ball toy. Eg animals, colours. It’s not that bad! Lives at my mum’s house as I gave it to him there.

Mum offered to give these to my DB and his wife and their kids and they declined the kind gifts. So they live at my mum’s house. The kids love them all though. Any signs of giving toys away is greeted with “no, we still play with it/love it”.

I only have a one year old but ive rapidly discovered i hate:

Over excitable voiced toys usually sounding like an American child

Repetitive loud songs

High pitched sounds effects

Hateful annoying songs that get stuck in your head even though you hate them and stay there

A perfect combination of these is Toot Toot. We have the firestation

"Im a Toot toot fire engine look at me go"
"Fighting fires is my job"

Die. Fortunately theres an off switch. I dread when he finds that and removes it from the off setting...

Also annoying:

A toy mobile phone from the in laws. Annoying sounds and i dont want to replicate playing with a mobile phone

A leapfrog book. I used to think this was acceptable until he button mashed it a few times so we had an amalgamation of animal noises on repeat

One of those old fashioned things where they press it and the characters go round inside like on a roundabout. "Clunk clunk clunk creeeaakkk" drives me demented.

This farting monkey that looked like it was possessed. You'd press its hand, it would then fart and jerk around with a gleeful cackle. It was sent on its way on vinted, as I got chucky/anabelle vibes. Creepy silver eyes too. Both of the above were in law specials.

When we were looking for birthday presents for said 1 year old husband kept eyeing up a baby xylophone. I refused to allow it 😂

@franksmama omg my dad bought this for two of the grandchildren on Christmas Day. Two of them simultaneously flashing and that song playing made for quite the Christmas lunch

Electric drum with pom pom stick and highland band boots.

Were all those from the same person? And if so, what in earth had you done to offend them?!

Other suggestions of annoying gifts we have received

• a poo catapulting game (went straight to the charity shop before it was even played with)

The bagpipes only offended the ears. You could go full assault on ears, nose and eyes

One of those dino masks that you wear and when you open your jaw the mask also opens its jaw and roars very loudly. The child will live in it and instead of conversations it will be loud roars. We had the velocoraptor one which was very loud and very annoying. You can also get a chewbacca one but I dont think thats as annoying

Digital drumsticks.!

You can also get toy megaphones that distort your voice / change your voice as well as amplify it - great fun :)

I haven’t read through all the responses so don’t know if someone’s already suggested a set of cymbals. There should be some budget left over for a nice big box set of glitter and one of those giant slime buckets.

Love that she got your kid bagpipes. 😆

Not had time to read full thread yet but some excellent suggestions in early pages....My DC are all older now (how?!) but the things I'm STILL traumatised by:
Worm Farm
Ant Farm
Those plaster digging sets with dinosaur/fossil type things embedded somewhere inside - nothing other than a jack hammer could actually release and the mess-fall out ratio = extreme
loom bands - so innocuous looking but the cause of so many arguments amongst youngest DC....not to mention DDogs eating them and the bloody things messing up roller blades of vacuum
And probably worst offender: The Furby - that I couldn't ever switch off for some reason...and always seemed to go into the horrible mode at bed time, traumatising DD and me stabbing randomly at the buttons to try and get it back from the psychotic function....I need a lie down in a dark room just thinking of that evil fu**er!! 👿

My SIL ensures anything loud and annoying mostly stays with the givers. A couple of loud and annoying toys have slipped through the net to their house though. Garages where you press something and siren comes on.

Ahhh, posted this on the wrong thread!! Not sure how to remove it!! 😂

Annoying toys… anything musical and repetitive should do the trick! Add in flashing lights. Fabulous fun, for all the family.

My son is 25 now. The worst toy he was given was a Bop It. I had to remove the batteries and pretend it was broken.

I once received a small brown jug. Smaller than an iPhone.

I had my step kids visiting after Xmas. We’d bought thoughtful choice gifts for them, tokens if you like. They’re all adults. So, my son and (now) exH were given their gifts. All wrapped in Christmas paper. Books, I think. Choices personal to them. Lovely! And I just sat there smiling like a crazy woman and feeling so embarrassed! Nothing for me…

Then, step daughter rummages to the bottom of the bag and pulls out the tiny brown jug. Unwrapped. She gave it to me and I was astonished. Of course, so as not to be ungrateful (his kids never really accepted me in a 17yr relationship) I said “Oh, thanks so much”. Underneath, on the label, it said DO NOT USE FOR POURING FLUIDS. So… A small brown rustic, unwrapped, unusable… jug.

Clearly, they’d got me nothing and grabbed this off a shelf and chucked it in the bag. “That’ll do”.

I don’t think they liked me 😂 🤔

😂😂😂

Aw I absolutely loved this for mine, I can hear the little tune now.

Although it did freak me out when it kept randomly going off in the toy box like a possessed Chucky 😆

When I was at uni I had a friend who spent a year in France and she had a French one. I can still hear it now it started “ooh la la…..”