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To say to my boss during a team meeting that his speech was unprofessional

34 replies

MeghannCleary · 11/06/2026 16:34

Without being too outing I am in a support function similar to Compliance in a financial services company and my Boss is not British so I don't know if the culture difference plays a role but he often talks flippantly of people being 'fired' in this or that department when I know at least a few of them left to join elsewhere for a better pay and better work culture

Anyway, at a team meeting today, he spent TWO HOURS (ran over into lunch time and beyond and my blood sugar had plummeted) telling us how easily we could be fired (about ten people in the team/meeting) for the 'low quality reports' we produced and how he was sick of it.

The only concrete e.g. he could give re the reports was a name or two wrong in the 'to send to' list - that still didn't make it clear to us why he takes weeks sometimes months to review and finalize these reports.

I was biting my cheek to stay wordless and calm - the others on the team mostly men were so calm I wondered if they were watching anime on another screen or just asleep with eyes open. Wish I could have done the same

Had some sort of meltdown where I went into a fugue state I reckon and saying it was really stressful to all of us when he bantered casually about us being fired or threw the word around flippantly for TWO HOURS. Surely a person who is being 'fired' in Corporate Britain at least from what I have seen, is dismissed in private and with dignity ? We are educated professionals not schoolkids.... I think I said as much and more

Waiting in state of high anxiety now for some sort of axe to fall. WWYD? start looking for another Job? Damn me and my big mouth

OP posts:
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Friendlygingercat · 15/06/2026 16:04

Sounds like a scene out of that series "Industry".

LateDecember · 15/06/2026 15:46

MyKindHiker · 15/06/2026 15:43

I don't think it's good or normal practice to threaten a team with being sacked almost casually. And I've worked in very cutthroat places where it was absolutely clear what would happen if your performance wasn't up to scratch. Even then there would be formal processes where people would be given feedback and a chance to improve in a proper way.

Doesn't matter what we think when subordinate. Now OP regrets life choices and is worried for her job. Common sense would have helped before the tantrum.

MyKindHiker · 15/06/2026 15:43

LateDecember · 15/06/2026 08:12

IMO, you're being extremely unprofessional.

A senior management leader can speak how they want about operations and you disagreeing, or agreeing, bears no relevance on the reality of who holds the authority.

You are very naïve if you think senior management views you as you view yourself. Be glad that someone is transparent enough to tell you.

There is nothing dignified about termination of employment in corporate Britain.

I've seen people leave after screaming matches, in glass offices, crying, rage, etc.

Your exposure sounds limited, so don't be shocked if things happen in front of you, or to you, in future.

I don't think it's good or normal practice to threaten a team with being sacked almost casually. And I've worked in very cutthroat places where it was absolutely clear what would happen if your performance wasn't up to scratch. Even then there would be formal processes where people would be given feedback and a chance to improve in a proper way.

MyKindHiker · 15/06/2026 15:40

MeghannCleary · 15/06/2026 15:35

He is Belgian

So he has just ignored me today, not responded to a teams message I sent on the work I am doing today either, although that has happened once or twice in the past two years without a sinister reason

I dunno......

I don't think you did or said anything wrong at all. I work in finance too and banks tend to be places robust discussions are allowed?

Either way - bull by the horns - get a one to one in with him (just put it in his diary) and address head on, that you were aware he may have been a bit surprised by your comments on the team meeting and did he want to discuss further. If he's upset he can have a chance to say so and you can have a chance to apologize for hurting his feelings (not for what you said!)

Better than just waiting to be sacked right. Asking for structured feedback should not be a sackable offense.

MeghannCleary · 15/06/2026 15:35

He is Belgian

So he has just ignored me today, not responded to a teams message I sent on the work I am doing today either, although that has happened once or twice in the past two years without a sinister reason

I dunno......

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 15/06/2026 08:15

I’m in the nhs and we’re in a permanent state for job loss fear. It’s said nicely but we all know what “difficult decisions” means. Permanently fearing job loss is probably why people have no commitment anymore. I can cope better now as I’d receive a substantial pay out due to service. I keep my head down in those meetings though.

parietal · 15/06/2026 08:13

Sounds like you were very professional and he is a mess. Does he have any idea of what he is doing?

do you have any links to his boss? Can you get a meeting with someone higher or sideways in the company who might advise?

LateDecember · 15/06/2026 08:12

IMO, you're being extremely unprofessional.

A senior management leader can speak how they want about operations and you disagreeing, or agreeing, bears no relevance on the reality of who holds the authority.

You are very naïve if you think senior management views you as you view yourself. Be glad that someone is transparent enough to tell you.

There is nothing dignified about termination of employment in corporate Britain.

I've seen people leave after screaming matches, in glass offices, crying, rage, etc.

Your exposure sounds limited, so don't be shocked if things happen in front of you, or to you, in future.

ProfessorBinturong · 15/06/2026 08:09

So you didn't shout, swear, insult or interrupt him. You were asked for your feedback on a specific issue and gave it clearly and directly. HR can't touch you for that, and nor should they wish to.

Depending which national border we're looking at, he may well be from a culture far more comfortable with plain speaking than the British. So there's a possibility this may actually improve your working relationship.

Palimpa · 15/06/2026 00:23

Hope it’s going ok OP

LightningTree · 12/06/2026 19:33

I think you were right to call him out. Hopefully you weren’t too OTT. No one can be fired for a bad report. The individual would have to be given an improvement plan, then a written warning, then a final written warning. So basically he was talking bollocks and there should be no way HR backs him over you.

Sapphireandsteel2 · 12/06/2026 11:49

I think it is great that you stood up to him. We had a similar, outrageous bullying boss, and we appreciated anyone who tried to stand up to him rather than meekly sitting there. In the end he was fired, but not before some good people had resigned because of him.
He also did a redundancy round in public, listing every staff member and saying if they'd been retained or redundant, the first time the staff being made redundant had heard about it, he was very cruel.

MeghannCleary · 12/06/2026 09:44

Thanks @Palimpa and @DearMartha , your words have helped me not hit the 'resignation' button ....yet.

@dutchyoriginal , thank you that was very helpful - I changed one detail slightly to not be outing (hey ho), he is in a neighbouring country right next to NL.

But I suspect what you said still holds true, that it is just him and this is some sort of twisted power play in some sense, but I still cannot understand it really....He has power without having to play to get it IYSWIM......

OP posts:
dutchyoriginal · 11/06/2026 21:13

dutchyoriginal · 11/06/2026 21:05

As a Dutchie, working in a Dutch non-corporate setting but familiar with them, his behaviour is really really weird and unprofessional.
In Dutch, like in English, there's a huge difference between being made redundant/getting fired or taking redundancy, so it seems to me that he deliberately misrepresents what happened with those other colleagues, that's not a language problem/misunderstanding.
Also in Dutch law, firing people for misconduct is really difficult, so the types of issues he's mentioned would usua

Edited

Fat fingers...

Also in Dutch law, firing people for misconduct is really difficult, so the types of issues he's mentioned would usually not be serious enough. It sounds to me like he's on a very unpleasant power trip

dutchyoriginal · 11/06/2026 21:05

As a Dutchie, working in a Dutch non-corporate setting but familiar with them, his behaviour is really really weird and unprofessional.
In Dutch, like in English, there's a huge difference between being made redundant/getting fired or taking redundancy, so it seems to me that he deliberately misrepresents what happened with those other colleagues, that's not a language problem/misunderstanding.
Also in Dutch law, firing people for misconduct is really difficult, so the types of issues he's mentioned would usua

DearMartha · 11/06/2026 20:57

I think well done you! He invited your thoughts and you gave them incredibly clearly and I think factually. He then apologised twice. Let’s hope it’s a wake up call and leads to either a cascade effect with others speaking up or at least a new found respect from him. Often I find meeting strength with assertion can be a turning point in that regard.

Palimpa · 11/06/2026 20:28

I am outspoken. My face is outspoken before I am. I am not at all difficult, in fact I am super helpful and productive but I am known for being straight talking. Honestly, it has only ever worked to my advantage. People take more care to not piss me off, bosses tend to put me on their team. You may yet have just made your life easier.

MeghannCleary · 11/06/2026 20:24

I feel I should have been the 'bigger person' like the others were and just ignored his rant

Tried so hard to.....

Mortgage, bills, oh God

OP posts:
MeghannCleary · 11/06/2026 20:22

ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/06/2026 19:38

Saying to your boss they are unprofessional isn’t unreasonable, but having a meltdown about it on a teams meetings sounds pretty unreasonable. So it depends what exactly happened really

I stayed completely quiet throughout though I was getting increasingly upset

Toward what I thought was the merciful end, I grabbed a cream croissant and almost disgustingly put a huge chunk in my mouth to force myself from saying anything at all

But then he said ' Meg , what do you think , you haven't said anything'

That's when I said -

  1. We need actual feedback that we can work with on why you feel any or all reports are bad quality - the people to send to list having errors does not stack up as being the reason a report takes 6 months to go out surely, that takes 5 minutes to fix? You STILL have not told me why my XX report was shelved for X months for eg.
  2. Bandying the word ' you will be fired' can have an extremely stressful effect on us having to listen to it and not really understand what we can do to fix it. If it is meant to be used as a motivator using fear culture, it may actually be counterintuitive , especially if at least some of us are genuinely already trying our best. It then becomes very demoralising not motivating. I have not seen this used in the Corporate world here in this way , if a person is under performance management and is not improving they are indeed 'fired' but in a private and dignified way. Perhaps I am struggling with Dutch culture , I am not sure if that is what it is.
That was pretty much it actually, one guy started backing me up right away - the others stunned as its very much a fear culture and I had noticed that a few times in the past X years working for this person. He immediately apologised twice but all I could think was ....now I have to get another job asap with my heart sinking
OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 11/06/2026 19:38

Saying to your boss they are unprofessional isn’t unreasonable, but having a meltdown about it on a teams meetings sounds pretty unreasonable. So it depends what exactly happened really

MeghannCleary · 11/06/2026 19:32

I had whatsapps from certain members of the team who were also there, saying I was really brave and spot on / I nailed it etc

Nice to have (these words of comfort) something to keep me warm when I am 'fired' eh?

OP posts:
MeghannCleary · 11/06/2026 19:30

Huckleberries · 11/06/2026 18:05

If you have a recording, you should look back over it

You need to make a calm analysis to see if there's anything to worry about

However, you are right

But this is such a common thing with senior management, I suspect he was asked to do that

Is it possible that they're making redundancies, and they want to try and piss people off so that they leave and they will have fewer packages to pay?

I have been subjected to this kind of meeting that went on for about three hours and everybody was just completely knocked out afterwards

This was an in person meeting a few years ago

We never found out what the purpose of the meeting was. But it was like taking the best performing team and telling them they weren't good enough for three hours

I don't think they wanted any of us to leave because they were fine after that meeting

One reason I left the workplace so early is because I just don't want to put up with this anymore

I realise most people have a financial situation that means they do have to put up with it - but any company that behaves like this should realise some of their best staff will just go - unless it's a deliberate attempt to get rid of some of the ones who are close to retirement?

There may be some short-term crude objective that's achieved by this sort of thing but when it happened to me, I couldn't see what it was

I think it was meant to be motivating, but it had a complete opposite effect

This makes so much sense, I could see him preferring to keep any redundancy pot money in the pot , and using it for bonus later ......

The Bank is Dutch and so is my boss, to the poster who was saying this is more common in the EU, that made sense too

OP posts:
AccidentalPrawnYouFool · 11/06/2026 18:12

He sounds like a massive twat. Are you in PMO, OP?

SpudGunToo · 11/06/2026 18:09

There are ways to make the point if you think your boss is being unprofessional.

What you did is not one of the better options.

Later and privately is generally preferred.

Huckleberries · 11/06/2026 18:05

If you have a recording, you should look back over it

You need to make a calm analysis to see if there's anything to worry about

However, you are right

But this is such a common thing with senior management, I suspect he was asked to do that

Is it possible that they're making redundancies, and they want to try and piss people off so that they leave and they will have fewer packages to pay?

I have been subjected to this kind of meeting that went on for about three hours and everybody was just completely knocked out afterwards

This was an in person meeting a few years ago

We never found out what the purpose of the meeting was. But it was like taking the best performing team and telling them they weren't good enough for three hours

I don't think they wanted any of us to leave because they were fine after that meeting

One reason I left the workplace so early is because I just don't want to put up with this anymore

I realise most people have a financial situation that means they do have to put up with it - but any company that behaves like this should realise some of their best staff will just go - unless it's a deliberate attempt to get rid of some of the ones who are close to retirement?

There may be some short-term crude objective that's achieved by this sort of thing but when it happened to me, I couldn't see what it was

I think it was meant to be motivating, but it had a complete opposite effect