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AIBU?

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Go to the police with teen?

56 replies

Booktote · 11/06/2026 15:34

I keep finding excessive amounts of sweet wrappers, empty jars of biscoff spread, empty packets of biscuits etc etc hidden in my teen’s room. These are all brands and items we never buy so I know she is getting this herself.

Lots to unpack here such as why she is doing it, which we are working on understanding, but for the purpose of this thread my question is where she gets the money from to pay for all of this. We can see her Revolut spending and it doesn’t match up with any places that would sell these items (for example she’s bought Sainsbury’s and tescos own brand things and has no purchases from there, we also never shop there for our family so she hasn’t added it on whilst running errands). We never have meaningful amounts of cash lying around.

I am worried that she has been shoplifting. If not, then she has stolen from us, technically speaking.

This is not the first time it’s happened. We’ve found copious amounts of wrappers on several other occasions and we’ve always had the same questions about where she gets if all from, and she has never had a good answer. She promises that she has never shoplifted in her life. I’m not sure I believe her.

As this has now become a pattern, it is clear that she is not listening to us when we explain the consequences of shoplifting or stealing (as she must have helped herself to our money somehow, if it’s not shoplifting) I need to help her stop this behaviour before she ends up in serious trouble.

AIBU to consider taking her to the police and explain the above, in the hopes that they scare her straight or get to the bottom of things? Is this a completely unrealistic scenario? Anything else I can try?

OP posts:
Booktote · 11/06/2026 16:11

FionnulaTheCooler · 11/06/2026 16:09

As there's no proof she's actually stolen anything I doubt the police will be interested. You're lucky if you can get them to come out when someone is actually caught in the act of shoplifting.

True. But I don’t feel I can just leave this, she will end up in trouble if we don’t tackle this now and I am not sure what I can do

OP posts:
Booktote · 11/06/2026 16:10

BauhausOfEliott · 11/06/2026 15:43

I think you need to address her binge-eating disorder before you start bothering the police with this.

What if it wasn’t food but other items we found around the house? I am not convinced that the stealing from us/shoplifting and binge eating are the same problem

OP posts:
FionnulaTheCooler · 11/06/2026 16:09

As there's no proof she's actually stolen anything I doubt the police will be interested. You're lucky if you can get them to come out when someone is actually caught in the act of shoplifting.

Booktote · 11/06/2026 16:07

@NotAWurstToIt But she doesn’t have access to money outside of what she has on her Revolut, so there are limited ways for these items to have ended up in our house. I cant think of any other options than shoplifting or taking money from us. Both are wrong and one has the potential to end very badly for her which is why I need to address this.

Binge/overeating will be addressed, there is a waitlist for appointments and we are on callback for cancellations with a therapist we have been recommended.

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 11/06/2026 15:43

I think you need to address her binge-eating disorder before you start bothering the police with this.

NotAWurstToIt · 11/06/2026 15:40

Before going to the police and scaring her and maybe damaging your relationship, I think you need to understand why she is overeating. That’s the primary issue, imo then you can get to where she’s getting it from. Also, at the moment you have no evidence she’s stealing either money or the food.
Is someone giving her money or food, if so, why. I agree you need to understand what’s going on, but you need to do this by talking with her, not leaping to police intervention and btw, they won’t actually do anything about this - it’s not a criminal matter at this stage.