To think having children makes women miserable?

New born - unbelievable love. Soft, sweet smelling and utterly delectable.
Toddlers - hysterical, unreasonable and so so so loving.
Children - fun, mad, chaotic and loving.
Teenagers - FUNNY. Emotional and complicated but so so much fun and so so funny.
Now - interesting and again so funny.

Nothing worth doing is easy. I always worked and loved every minute of having my children.
Them being tiny is such a tiny part of your life.

There is a lot of anti child propaganda out at the moment but as someone who didn’t think she would ever have children I am so pleased I did.

I don’t think it’s having children, it’s probably having a shit partner. I’d say my life has got better since having children, but it is very hard work.

I think the issue isn't having children, it's having children with someone that doesn't pull their weight and leaves all the hard and mundane shit to the woman.

Any needs I had are only met once everyone else’s wants are met. I know it is because children are inherently selfish, and I was the same. I understand my own mum a lot more now.

Embarrassing

There is one of these threads every week. You do you.

From your OP, I'd say having a lazy selfish husband makes women miserable.

Having children is without doubt the best thing I ever did and made me feel more happy and purposeful than anything else ever. And I have had two very fulfilling and enjoyable vocational careers which I love. I know if I hadn;t had children I'd feel like something central was missing from my life. No woman should ever feel obliged to think this way or pressurised to have children or enjoy motherhood. But I loved it. (After the baby years. Which I bloody hated.)

Regardless of who op genuinely is, yanbu. My life now revolves around the kids and DH and i often feel like my needs come last.

I don’t have a man in my life - perhaps that’s it reading some of these posts???

My children are genuinely the joy of my life. I’m not always happy - mostly but it always - but that’s for nothing to do with the kids!

Children don’t make women miserable, men do. I am a single mother by choice and I’m blissfully happy just me and my toddler. Hard work but nothing to resent and on the whole I love every second. I think more women should choose to go it alone!

It depends how much you wanted them. Also, how many you have, how much money you have, how much support you have, etc. Plus, of course, you never know what you're gonna get. Some children are easier to raise than others.

The women I really pity are those trapped in poverty. Sub-Saharan Africa has by far the highest birth rate in the world. In fact, the population of sub-Saharan Africa is going to double. No doubt some women in Nigeria or the Congo do want four or five kids, but I suspect the vast majority do not and would rather have the time and space to educate themselves or pursue a career (or just live in peace). It is no coincidence that whernever female education improves the birth rate drops.

That was my dad but my mum divorced him. She found a new man and had a happy life. My dad is still alone. That is my FIL to a certain extent but no where near as bad. My husband swore never to be that man. He is a wonderful father and husband. All my good friends have great husbands too who are very involved in their kids lives and do their share of cooking and cleaning etc.
You know what you want in a husband and father so don't settle for anything less.

Really I do agree. And I think it’s why the birth rate is rapidly declining - women have choice. They don’t have to be a wife and mother.

Your question is misguided. The question should be, do bad husbands make mothers miserable? It has nothing to do with the children!

I think this is a huge aspect. There is a forum to support parents who regret their children and it's less than half of the people posting who are single parents.

so much of it comes down to who you choose to have kids with.
Rubbish partner makes it 100% harder. But I and all my close friends waited until our 30s to have kids and were in longer relationships and so far so good. There is always a chance you could end up with a bad one but I do think spending real time and thought about who you have kids with can be the most important choice you ever make.

But even without my husband, My kids are the best thing that ever happened to me, even on the hard days

That’s one adjective. ‘Troll like’ is another!

It’s clearly someone just making stuff up; best reported.

I can only speak for myself, but I always knew it would make me miserable, hence why I chose to be child-free :)

Being a mother and being a wife are two separate things.

Many people have bad marriages which may have always been bad. My marriage definitely changed after the children arrived. But that is not the fault of the children.

I love my children enormously and I can't imagine anything as fulfilling as raising little people well and being able to love them my whole life. Then watching them go out into the world and thrive.

I think you've described a childhood where you had a bad and lazy father, that's not your fault.
I also had a terrible father. But, there are lots of good fathers out there, I know this to be fact because my children have one.

But to claim you're single and childfree on one thread then claim you're married with 3 and a bit kids on another, seems bizarre.

I think it can. It isn’t the children themselves but while on here everyone who isn’t married to someone who is totally 50/50 did so through careful, considered choice, for many of us how much they had to do and how crap their partners were came as a hell of a shock.

Any multitude of reasons. I always assume posters change info.

I just find these posts really weird - MY best thing in MY life is being a wife and mother therefore it will be for everyone if done right.

That's like saying MY favorite food is sardines and if you just cook them like I do you'll love sardines too and if you don't you're missing out on the joy you could be getting from eating sardines.

I get a lot of satisfaction out of working long hours in a tough job in the city. My friend really enjoys being a nurse. Another loves being a SAHM. Different things bring different people happiness. Of course everyone loves their kids. But for some people the actual job of having to look after other people's needs all day every day they find really hard and not in an enjoyable way. Not because they are worse people but because the job of parenting isn't aligned to everyone's interests and skills.

YABU you just have to be careful who you marry. Why marry someone who doesn't relate well to children?
Your Mum had the power here as she was working, owned all the house and he didn't help in the house/nor with his children.
Babies/children generally bring joy.