AIBU to object to my 13-year-old daughter moving in with her dad?

Well, thank God her father is listening to her!
Let her stay at his, as you're insistent in keeping the fiance.
Even if your daughter has lied to school, I'd expect you'd want to sort that out first, work with her and the Welfare Team to figure how to best deal with the lies. It may mean your partner moves back out for a while as you try to figure things out.
What you cannot do, is decide nothing changes, but you'll demand her back from her father.

I am a step-parent and a step child and it isn't an easy road, but your partner is not responsible for parenting your daughter. As an additional adult in her life he may be kind, helpful and a big support, but you are in charge of her. Has he possibly overstepped this role? My step father never did and we moved into his house, but it always felt like our house. My mum was in charge of my behaviour although he was very much available if required (and still is). I think if she doesn't want to live with you at her age and she has somewhere else to go, she can. Might you be able to rebuild your relationship without your partner present? The teenage years are a difficult time. It might be the worst time for someone who isn't your parent to start 'instilling discipline' or something equally unhelpful. Sorry, OP, this sounds very hard but some time living at her dad's house might benefit you all. Nobody wants to live in the shadow of a couple's arguments, do they?

In 2023 your where still married and living with her dad. Bit fast isn’t it.

I can say that as a 13-year-old that would probably have scared me too. I would certainly have hated it.

You may know and trust your dp, OP, but clearly your daughter cannot possibly know him as well as you do.

Saying that, I would also wonder what your ex has been saying to dd about your fiancé.

Nonetheless, your daughter didn't have any choice but to put up with your bloke until now. And now she is old enough, and does have a choice, she is making her views very clearly felt.

I feel very sorry for your DD who appears to have been sidelined in favour of your love life. Why did you allow a man she doesn’t like to move into her home?

It is incredibly unlikely that you will be able to insist she lives with you as her wishes will come first, as they should.

Do you work? I imagine your ex will make a CMS claim against you.

Do not demand she returns. She is 13 and has a right to a say in where she lives and a court will listen if it comes to it.

You’ve chosen to live with your partner. She has chosen not to. She made her feelings clear so you shouldn’t be surprised.

Hopefully your daughter settles in well to her fathers home. She is there because he listened to her when you did not so it possibly is for the best. I will never understand a mother chosing a man over their childs happiness.

Why should DD be forced to live with a man she doesn't like when her father is happy she lives with him? Chose the bloke if you like but you would be a fool to do so.

I’m sure the ops not even thought about losing child maintenance yet and having to pay her ex 🤣.

All to keep a piece of dick in her home. 😂😂

You can waste time and energy objecting or you can be realistic and accept that your child is so unhappy living with you and your partner that she would prefer to live with her dad.He seems up for it and the fact that she has spoken to school about it makes it even more likely that you are minimising the true situation. I am just pleased to hear your daughter has one parent who is taking her seriously.

I’d be worried your partner is abusing her in other ways. Even if he’s not, wtf does she want to live with a strange adult man? You need to kick him out

For Gods sake remove this bloke and put your DD first. There is no way I would move a new man in if my DD did not like him, whether she is justified or not.,

3 years? So barely out of boyfriend territory and hes already living in her home, youre already engaged and he thinks he has the right to tell her what to do?

I cannot understand why you seem surprised.

But she hasn't lived within a couple family for a decade and now he's there telling her off, causing you pair to argue, all the are about her etc. Doesn't sound like he likes her very much. I wonder how happy he'll be she's gone? Until your maintenance payments start at least

You haven’t listened to her!

How do you know there lies? What’s she’s been saying, forget him. Tbh sounds like you’ve already lost your daughter, but you pick him it’s game over I’m telling you!

Poor girl, she has said she didn't like living with her dad before; if this is her preferred alternative to living with you and your partner, what does that say about living with you?

You haven't listened to her distress by keeping this man around (he is not her father and should not be disciplining her at this stage) and she's choosing to vote with her feet. I think there's still time to repair your relationship with her, but something tells me you'll continue on regardless.

You either let her go or the boyfriend moves out so she can be comfortable at home. Simple as that. She can live with Dad and visit you if thats more comfortable for her.

My god if my child was so unhappy living with my partner of 3 years that she wanted to move out, I would be ending the relationship. I’m absolutely baffled that you don’t seem to see that as the natural solution.

Sorry, at no point in your posts so far have you suggested a solution to any of your daughter's concerns.

Your daughter is telling you loud and clear that she doesn't want you to marry your boyfriend and have him living in her home.

Why aren't you listening to her?

She's told her dad. She's told her school. She's made plans to remove herself to somewhere she does feel safe. She's done everything we would advise a teenage girl to do when she doesn't feel safe.

What's your plan to stop her feeling the need to move to her dad's?

She has two parents, why does she have to live with you? She's unhappy living with a man you imposed on her and whilst I don't doubt you're heartbroken about it, if focus on rebuilding your relationship with her 121 whilst she lives with her Dad.

At 13 courts listen to where kids want to live.

She told you she is unhappy has for a while and you haven't listened. She can choose to go and live with her Dad - and clearly her Dad willing to go to court to get her what she wants.

I would have been worried when she started to split you up with engagement TBH and gone a lot slower and tried to get her to place she was happy instead of proceeding when she is clearly so unhappy.

Are you in England/Wales? If so, a court order where you’re not notified is unusual. Only likely to be granted in an extreme case where the child is at risk. He might have persuaded a judge that, but I would expect there’d be another hearing very soon. You need to find out and be prepared for it.

Also you don’t want to live away from her.

Well she wants to live away from you/your partner.

Why does your want trump her rights to live with her father and not a male stranger (awaits his my partner not a stranger blah blah blah. He is a strange man to her not her dad/uncle/grandad)