AIBU to object to my 13-year-old daughter moving in with her dad?

Seriously; because someone is an adult doesn’t automatically make them any better than a child.

I don’t think she’s at all interested the in criticism, or advice she doesn’t want to follow, that sharing all the relevant information would attract tbh.

She wants to hear that she and her fiancé are victims of her horrible lying daughter and ex, imo. That’s it.

Difficult to advise her without all the relevant information though

What exactly does the court order say? It must be an emergency cao and maybe prohibited steps order for you to have not been involved in the family court process before now. Which means it will almost certainly be a temporary order until things can be resolved on a more permanent basis. There will likely be some serious allegations against step father. They shouldn't have changed schools etc without consulting you, that is a basic aspect of parental responsibility. If be surprised if DD hasn't thought of/mentioned wanting to change schools before though?

Your dd is old enough that court will take her wishes over yours. The worst thing you can do here is try and fight for possession of her. Grass is always greener on the other side, but the novelty of living with dad full time will likely wear off soon enough. Play the long game. So as hard as it is, for now just sit back and remind her that she knows where you are. And if it doesn't, at least know that she's happier now.

It's nature for kids to not get on with step parents. She wants you to fight for her, because she wants to be your sole, undivided focus of attention. There can only be a rug of war if both sides are pulling on the rope.

My fiance will look after her and therefore will tell her off it misbehaving but also takes her out often to places she likes and she always comes back saying she has had a lovely day.

And yet she absolutely does not like him so much that she is willing to completely leave you behind as a support network.

You have not even the slightest bit of curiosity as to why she feels like this. You are willfully blind.

From her biological Dads point of view, I would absolutely move heaven and earth if my daughter was not happy living with another man in her house - especially one who tries to make rules for her to follow.
You are being selfish to put any man before your child!!!
I am a mother myself and no man would ever be a priority over my 13 year old daughter.

I doubt OP is going to share any information that contradicts the narrative of ‘my daughter and ex are big mean liars that are out to get me/ my poor innocent fiancé’.

Thank goodness the girl is safe. @Bigglebigglecan I ask you why the hell a grown ass man who barely knows her would want to take a 13yr old out to nice places- go on, have a really good think about it. Then think why they were able to get a court order out and that you have another vulnerable child in the house. Most of us have come to the conclusion that dropping your knickers is far more important to you than your children’s safety be it physically or mentally.

This is exactly the right thing to do. Everything should be through the parenting app to keep a record, and because it keeps things civil.

Your daughter is sending a clear message. That isn’t the father’s fault, thank goodness she has his house to go to and feel safer than she did at yours.

Were you able to understand and process the 700 comments op? Because your post assuming ‘he is turning her against me’ suggest you have been unable to. The only way to have any chance at all at seeing your dd again is to take accountability for your own actions. This is on you. Until you can understand how you have caused this, you won’t get your dd back.

Courts don’t remove responsibility from one parent and hand it to another on an emergency order unless there’s serious evidence of harm. Your daughter will have reported serious abuse, be that physical or sexual. And you’re just worked up about how the dad can do this??

I thought mediation and cafcass will get involved first before a court order and have a miam meeting. That’s what happened with my friend

That you can’t just do a court order

I think OP is selective in the information she shares so I doubt we're even getting the full half story.

I think ops under sharing which is fine but means she won’t get accurate advice because the situation is much more serious than she wants to let on as to get sympathy not that she has got that really anyway.

Or we need a bridge 🐐

This was my thought process. There are other children in the house. Where are Social Services? They should have visited by now.

There's nothing to 'sort out'. Your daughter tried to tell you but you put your own needs in front of hers. She's now moved away and isn't coming back. What stronger message could you possibly need to hear?

OP I just read all your posts and I’m glad your daughter has somewhere she feels safe. Let her be with her dad. You seem like you really can’t see how much you are the problem here.

Exactly - the daughter has been ok with all of her previous partners and her dad's wife - only this one is an issue - to the point she doesn't want to be there.
Dad got a court order based on info from the daughter and school - and the mum thinks the fiance is simply telling her daughter to tidy her room!
He is abusing her and the OP is taking his side and playing victim that her daughter wants nothing to do with her!

According to OPs posts she was informed about an order by school but has never been informed of anything by a Family Court or been asked to attend a hearing etc which never happens unless an ex parte order is granted by the Judge. An ex-parte order in a Family Court is only granted without contacting the other parent initially if there are serious safeguarding concerns for a child. A social work team would also be also then be involved. Unless I have missed one of OP's posts explaining more something doesn't make sense in this situation.

You chose a man over your daughter. You turned her against you.

Luckily for her she has a father who will support her and make her a priority.

Do you intend to make the same mistakes with your other children? Will your partner be taking your younger DD out for special days out now the 13 year old is gone?

Urgh ‘turning her against me’

Typical bullshit attitude I had to put up from my parents after they split while not acknowledging their own piss poor behaviour.

You did this to yourself.

He has a court order

Because you lost your rights when you put a man who is abusing her before her - you made your choice - live with it

Take some legal advice. You have joint parental responsibility (PR) so he is not legally allowed to change her school or keep her with him without your consent.

Her stepmother tells her off all the time and she has never had an issue with this in all the years that they have been together.

And this doesn't give you pause? It's clearly not the discipline that's the problem.