Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about the split of bills….

179 replies

Firemansspouse · 11/06/2026 12:36

So last summer my OH moved in with me, it was earlier than we had planned as he had lost his job. He was renting a place and was running out of money fast.
I said that him and his daughter who lives with him full time could move in with me as it was on the cards down the line anyway.
I own my house, with a mortgage, no kids just me and the two cats.
we discussed finances and I said, that it would be fair for him to pay half towards the mortgage and bills , ie split everything down the middle. He did that.
11 months down the line he’s in the process of losing another job… we are talking senior manager jobs here.. but anyway…

he’s brought it up a few times recently that it’s unfair that I ask him to pay half of the bills and the mortgage… and that really he should just pay half the bills, as I’ve cannot afford to save and if we were to split up after say ten years he would of contributed to the property price which may have gone up by the. But would stand to gain nothing.
there are two things I wish to gain your thoughts on here….
aibu asking for half of all the house bills including mortgage?
if I was to go on bills only would it be unreasonable to ask for him to pay 2/3 of them as him and his daughter live here.
ny bills have gone up exponentially since they moved in.

any thoughts or insights to how you lovely bunch work it would be greatly appreciated as I feel like I’m being super unreasonable here whereas I didn’t think I was previously.
TIA

OP posts:
Besidemyselfwithworry · 11/06/2026 12:40

This is YOUR house so if you split he’d be out and I get why he’d not be wanting to pay towards a house he has no financial interest in.
But I understand what you’re saying - he is living there

But hes an adult

he needs to buy get his own place and move out and you both become financially independant of each other - it’s not your purpose in life to keep him is it?

Conchiglie · 11/06/2026 12:40

It's not fair to ask him to pay half of the mortgage and not have any interest in the property.

It is fair to ask him to pay 2/3 of the bills.

It's also fair to ask him to move out if you want to.

IsItSummerSoon · 11/06/2026 12:40

He can't expect to live rent free! But I think half the mortgage is an arbitrary cost. But how much would a 2 bed be for him to rent in the area for him and his daughter? How much would he be spending if he didn't have your place? Slightly less then that amount is completely fair. Which I assume will be more then half your mortgage so he's probably on a really good deal. Cheeky sod. I'd tell him to do one. (edited for spelling)

LeeshaPaper · 11/06/2026 12:37

Move him out