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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find lazy adults really grating?

717 replies

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:26

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

OP posts:
andthat · 11/06/2026 12:31

You sound like you don’t like your ‘friend’ very much…
Would be horrified if a friend of mine was slagging me off like this…

chocoluv · 11/06/2026 12:31

This reply has been deleted

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Yes I’m fine thanks for your concern, you seem nice.

It’s an unwritten rule that you don’t hit on anyone at the gym, so it’s not that likely.

And the friend does work.

Most people in this day and age use dating sites online.

I’m sure there are plenty of men she’ll meet at sewing club 🤔

ruethewhirl · 11/06/2026 12:31

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:29

No I’d say we both look about the same.

I work hard for my money, I finance my own travel and hobbies. She relies on living with her parents rent free to be able to afford anything, and even then she’s always talking about how she wishes she could afford to do more.

Are you suggesting her job isn't hard work?

Muffsies · 11/06/2026 12:31

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:22

To be fair her family bankroll her at the moment but that can’t last forever! She’s going to end up obese and on benefits but who cares 🤷🏻‍♀️ her problem!

Exactly, so why are you so triggered by her? Just get over it.

Zov · 11/06/2026 12:30

minimonkey11 · 11/06/2026 12:24

Op : AIBU?
pretty much everyone : yes
op : no i’m not

Textbook.

TheWineoftheChicken · 11/06/2026 12:30

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:29

No I’d say we both look about the same.

I work hard for my money, I finance my own travel and hobbies. She relies on living with her parents rent free to be able to afford anything, and even then she’s always talking about how she wishes she could afford to do more.

But you said she doesn’t do anything except stay in bed?
I’m confused 😕

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:29

JollyGreenWatermelon · 11/06/2026 12:26

I had some sympathy for you and your POV, because I agree with some of it, but I have lost it now

So basically YOU are jealous of HER. Now it all makes sense.
her family bankroll her at the moment

and let me guess? She's a knockout and you are ... more average looking?

No I’d say we both look about the same.

I work hard for my money, I finance my own travel and hobbies. She relies on living with her parents rent free to be able to afford anything, and even then she’s always talking about how she wishes she could afford to do more.

OP posts:
tiramisugelato · 11/06/2026 12:28

AurielleBaies · 11/06/2026 12:25

Beginning to think this thread is rage bait. OP’s responses are so ridiculous

Of course it is. It's fun to poke the bear though Grin

LotusLovett · 11/06/2026 12:28

Your friend sounds like me. I'd love to be someone who get up early and goes to bed early, but I'm just not, I'm a night owl. I go to work - to the office - everyday by choice. Most of my colleagues work from home. I could call them lazy because I'm getting up and dressed and getting on a train to work, but no. They aren't lazy they just have a different preference to me! You probably wouldn't call my hobbies productive. I'm an indoorsy person, prefer to be by myself. Most of my hobbies involve me being sat down. I do like going out for a coffee and a chat or going for a walk sometimes. You are a really judgemental person and I'd much rather be friends with your friend than you!

I'm really glad you're getting your arse handed to you on here! I always beat myself up for being this way, because people like you make me feel rubbish.

Zov · 11/06/2026 12:28

You are entitled to find it grating, but it's still nothing to do with you.

HTH.

BrendaSmall · 11/06/2026 12:28

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:29

Having a different sleep pattern is one thing, laying about in bed until 3pm at the weekend is another! She does nothing but drive to and from work. That’s lazy 🤷🏻‍♀️

With judgey friends like you, who needs enemies?!?

ruethewhirl · 11/06/2026 12:27

AurielleBaies · 11/06/2026 12:25

Beginning to think this thread is rage bait. OP’s responses are so ridiculous

She sounds overtired and cranky to me. Perhaps it's nap time...

JollyGreenWatermelon · 11/06/2026 12:26

This reply has been deleted

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I had some sympathy for you and your POV, because I agree with some of it, but I have lost it now

So basically YOU are jealous of HER. Now it all makes sense.
her family bankroll her at the moment

and let me guess? She's a knockout and you are ... more average looking?

TheWineoftheChicken · 11/06/2026 12:25

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:22

To be fair her family bankroll her at the moment but that can’t last forever! She’s going to end up obese and on benefits but who cares 🤷🏻‍♀️ her problem!

Why does she need bankrolling if she works 30 hours a week and lives at home? Unless you just mean that she doesn’t pay a contribution for her keep at home?

AurielleBaies · 11/06/2026 12:25

minimonkey11 · 11/06/2026 12:24

Op : AIBU?
pretty much everyone : yes
op : no i’m not

Beginning to think this thread is rage bait. OP’s responses are so ridiculous

ruethewhirl · 11/06/2026 12:24

This reply has been deleted

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And you're calling your friend immature? I rest my case. 😂

minimonkey11 · 11/06/2026 12:24

Op : AIBU?
pretty much everyone : yes
op : no i’m not

TheWineoftheChicken · 11/06/2026 12:23

SandyHappy · 11/06/2026 12:23

You won't give us any examples of what these so-called judgements to you are, so I would assume she is saying things in response to your unsolicited comments about her lifestyle.

If these judgemental comments even exist…

Bogofftosomewherehot · 11/06/2026 12:23

You're a nice friend aren't you?

chaosmaker · 11/06/2026 12:23

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:17

She is immature.

It’s just a fact. Mature adults don’t stay in bed all day, work 5.5 hours a day and claim it’s full time and hard work.

Some do and it is NONE of your business. End the friendship although I'm astonished she hasn't done so already

SandyHappy · 11/06/2026 12:23

You won't give us any examples of what these so-called judgements to you are, so I would assume she is saying things in response to your unsolicited comments about her lifestyle.

ruethewhirl · 11/06/2026 12:23

whatcanthematterbe81 · 11/06/2026 12:05

I’m in bed now. And you sound like a bit of an idiot

I've done some work, paid bills, ordered the groceries, and dealt with admin relating to my elderly mum's care this morning - all from bed as my pain issues are flaring today. Someone pass OP the smelling salts (and slip her a chill pill while they're at it)...

Calliopespa · 11/06/2026 12:23

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See Op this is why you are getting a hard time: your thinking and attitudes are narrow and entirely inflexible - not to mention judgmental.

How could you possibly know any of that post was bollocks?

chocoluv · 11/06/2026 12:22

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:17

She is immature.

It’s just a fact. Mature adults don’t stay in bed all day, work 5.5 hours a day and claim it’s full time and hard work.

An adult is a developmental stage, just like a toddler.

She is a mature adult where you like it or not.

As someone who has spent years working in prisons with murderers, rapists and gang members, for double the hours she does - I can categorically tell you that you could not pay me to work in a nursery.

I love young kids but 1 hour feels like the equivalent of 5 hours and I can’t imagine looking after multiple kids every day, especially someone else’s.

I can definitely see why she is so exhausted to do much else.

Your job is obviously much easier than hers so you have the energy to do extra things.

Thechaseison71 · 11/06/2026 12:22

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Yeah the moral " laziness" police are often tucked up by 9.30 or 10pm.

Some of us are still working at that time do if. We are not up at the crack of dawn doesn't make us lazy