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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find lazy adults really grating?

717 replies

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:26

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

OP posts:
NovaF · 11/06/2026 13:03

Working with children is exhausting, there is nothing lazy about it, I'm not surprised she wants to spend the rest of her time conserving energy! For all you know she has an iron deficiency or thyroid problem that adds to tiredness but even if she did not, so what?! If you don't like her judgement say something or get a new friend it sounds like you do not like her very much

SnoopyPajamas · 11/06/2026 13:02

Soontobesingles · 11/06/2026 12:38

OP it's time for some self-reflection here. What do you honestly want from this thread, and why on Earth do you want it? Strangers to say 'yes you are better than your friend because you earn more working in an office, go to the gym and have more wholesome hobbies?' If you truly believe this, why do you need us to agree with you? Why do you need to feel superior? What I think is sad is that you cannot reflect on the fact that, maybe, you are earning more than a care worker and have more energy and free time, because society is messed up and values the wrong things. It is pathetic and entirely unself-aware to the point of cringe to come on a parenting forum and moan that someone working in child care and earning a pittance is 'lazy', because they lie-in on their days off, while you, in 'full-time work', have all the time in the world to bitch about your friend online, while you are being paid to do your job. Honestly, what sort of person do you think that makes you? What do you think you are doing here other than embarrassing yourself? If you don't like your friend's values, don't be her friend! If you really are that superior, I am sure you'll find more like-minded people to hang out with - but perhaps when you do you will see how dreadful people with your values really are to be around (and want your old friend back(>

Edited

This. If OP was happy in her own choices, she wouldn't feel so strongly about her friend doing things differently. It's giving Aunt Petunia.

NameChangeForTheWeek · 11/06/2026 13:01

Why are you friends if you dislike her so much

Malasana · 11/06/2026 13:01

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

I’m very much a morning person but understand fully that other people aren’t.

It’s really odd that OP labels her friend lazy for having a different sleep pattern to her.

Neither is better than the other - they’re just different aren’t they?

Somedays when I’m really tired I’d love to snooze until 10 but my stupid body and brain just won’t because the second I’m awake I’m up.

shhblackbag · 11/06/2026 13:01

Verv · 11/06/2026 11:42

Up at half five and run everywhere?
Congratulations you're a toddler.

😅

Thechaseison71 · 11/06/2026 13:00

Cherrytree86 · 11/06/2026 12:47

I mean, she deffo should be exercising in the sense that we should ALL exercise for the sake of our mental health and physical health. Besides that I don’t really see why it irks you so

Surely she's getting enough exercise running around after kids for nearly 30 hours a week

nomas · 11/06/2026 12:59

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:36

Because she has the nerve to ridicule me! When all she does (literally) is sit in bed

Why are you friends with someone you dislike so much?

Why can’t you make friends with fellow early birds and leave her alone?

ForeverPombear · 11/06/2026 12:59

Lomonald · 11/06/2026 12:53

Yes you are right, they just hug babies and read stories all day!

They also nap when the babies nap! It's so easy!

whatcanthematterbe81 · 11/06/2026 12:58

Actually thinking this is a troll. Imagine someone in their 20s being sad enough to write this guys? Sincerely hope so anyway 😂😂

Waitingfordoggo · 11/06/2026 12:57

Anyway @myothersockis, how come you’ve posted 30+ times this morning? Are you at work? If so, I think you’re supposed to be working. Your friend wouldn’t be able to post so much on MN when she is working- I don’t think childcare workers are allowed to piss about on social media when they’re at work. Anyway they’re too busy. Sounds like you’ve got a much easier job than hers.

Or maybe it’s your day off? In which case why on earth are you spending it scrolling MN? How terribly lazy. I would have thought you’d be at the gym or doing the housework or volunteering at a food bank. Shoddy adulting OP.

Butchyrestingface · 11/06/2026 12:57

Given the high level smug, obtuse Energiser Bunny energy OP exudes on here, I think it’s likely she does the same in person.

It will be very obvious to her pals she thinks she morally superior to them. I do wonder if Bed Loller is just grey rocking the OP rather than actively denigrating her - and OP interprets anything less than 💯 % non-biodegradable open adoration as mockery.

GeorgieBot · 11/06/2026 12:56

One of the most bitter, nasty OPs I've ever come across! The fact you've even made a thread about this!
Just stop being friends, stop commenting on this post and try to be a less bitter and judgemental person for your own sake if no one else's...

TheCompactPussycat · 11/06/2026 12:55

Ah, yes. Good old circadian rhythm shaming.

There is nothing morally superior about having a circadian rhythm that makes you an early riser. Hope that helps.

SpunkyOchreSnake · 11/06/2026 12:55

Yes YABU. What she does doesn’t affect you. You do you and let her crack on. She’s working not sponging off the tax payer, what she does in her own free time is up to her. Why do you care so much?!

Waitingfordoggo · 11/06/2026 12:54

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:22

To be fair her family bankroll her at the moment but that can’t last forever! She’s going to end up obese and on benefits but who cares 🤷🏻‍♀️ her problem!

God, I wonder if this poor woman knows how much you loathe her 😕

Lomonald · 11/06/2026 12:53

MelCath · 11/06/2026 12:46

Being a nursery nurse for 5 hours a day is not very hard, is it.

Yes you are right, they just hug babies and read stories all day!

Zov · 11/06/2026 12:52

Passingthrough123 · 11/06/2026 12:46

Your nastiness is getting baity now, like you want to fuel outrage… 👀

I know right.

Zov · 11/06/2026 12:51

Solaitt · 11/06/2026 12:49

You sound truly awful.

Do this lass a favour and block her, because you’re not her friend. You’re a bully.

This. ^

GingerdeadMan · 11/06/2026 12:50

Cherrytree86 · 11/06/2026 12:47

I mean, she deffo should be exercising in the sense that we should ALL exercise for the sake of our mental health and physical health. Besides that I don’t really see why it irks you so

But.... the OP isn't the exercise police! 🤷‍♀️

The 'friend' is an adult who can make her own choices, without needing to justify herself to anyone else.

Solaitt · 11/06/2026 12:49

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:22

To be fair her family bankroll her at the moment but that can’t last forever! She’s going to end up obese and on benefits but who cares 🤷🏻‍♀️ her problem!

You sound truly awful.

Do this lass a favour and block her, because you’re not her friend. You’re a bully.

MelCath · 11/06/2026 12:48

Passingthrough123 · 11/06/2026 12:46

Your nastiness is getting baity now, like you want to fuel outrage… 👀

Ture. Why do you need to vent OP, if she is so useless, it shouldn't bother you.

I reckon she is either lazy and entitled as you say or, more likely, suffers from anxiety and depression.

Zov · 11/06/2026 12:47

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 12:22

To be fair her family bankroll her at the moment but that can’t last forever! She’s going to end up obese and on benefits but who cares 🤷🏻‍♀️ her problem!

LOL, you do resent her don't you @myothersockis 😆

ThisOneLife · 11/06/2026 12:47

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:29

Having a different sleep pattern is one thing, laying about in bed until 3pm at the weekend is another! She does nothing but drive to and from work. That’s lazy 🤷🏻‍♀️

An adult not knowing the difference between laying and lying is grating.

Cherrytree86 · 11/06/2026 12:47

I mean, she deffo should be exercising in the sense that we should ALL exercise for the sake of our mental health and physical health. Besides that I don’t really see why it irks you so

hidingmynuts · 11/06/2026 12:47

Calliopespa · 11/06/2026 12:42

I'm trying to demonstrate to the OP that not everyone has the same take on things. There are other ways of staying fit - and quite honestly, I am someone who prefers different ways on balance.

Truthfully, there have been lots of times in my life I have been a regular gym-goer.

But I still don't understand why the OP would come on here and start a thread about someone and imply that she is superior because she chooses to spend time at the gym. It's a choice. It was for me, it is for her.

And yes, I do tend to prefer other ways of keeping fit and find the gym a bit of a tedious, mindless place. That's my opinion, no more. But that is my point to the op: a lot of this judgment about how a life is well-spent comes down to opinion not some kind of objective litmus.

As long as you own your opinion for what it is- just your opinion and its not to be applied to other people, thats fine.

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