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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find lazy adults really grating?

717 replies

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:26

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

OP posts:
OvernightBloats · 11/06/2026 08:09

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 08:07

Yes, she’s definitely the victim here!

Well, she is a victim because you are slagging her off on social media!

KateSixer · 11/06/2026 08:09

Waitingfordoggo · 11/06/2026 07:53

I see what you’re saying but the OP’s ‘lazy’ friend works, plus if she never goes anywhere or does anything she possibly doesn’t spend much money so perhaps she’ll be the one with more funds in future.

True I am sure there could be exceptions.

But taking at face value some of the updates from the OP then it's also possible that this friend ends up with real or imagined health problems and a life of being paid benefits by you and me! That outcome seems less likely for the OP based on what she has said.

Flowerlovinglady · 11/06/2026 08:08

I'd focus on blocking her comments by just showing that they have no impact on you - you can't change how other people live and nor should you, people are different and that's absolutely Okay.

Comeonelieen · 11/06/2026 08:08

Yes, you are.
Though you were going to complain about a colleague who doesn’t pull their weight but no, its someone who doesn’t go gym and stays up past their bed time 🤣🤣

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 08:08

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/06/2026 08:07

If the friend isn't planning to have kids, will the OP judge her for that too?

I hope she doesn’t to be honest

OP posts:
myothersockis · 11/06/2026 08:08

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:07

By your own admission she’s at work during the day.
Your constant attempt to change the goal posts so people belittle your “friend” is pathetic.

6 hours a day is a part time job. In her 29s!

OP posts:
EmpressaurusKitty · 11/06/2026 08:07

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:06

Rubbish, you can’t bank sleep. Everyone planning to have kids should make the most of their freedom before that, not live a restricted lifestyle because one day they might have to.

If the friend isn't planning to have kids, will the OP judge her for that too?

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 08:07

OvernightBloats · 11/06/2026 08:07

You clearly have contempt for her so this friendship has run its course. Do her a favour and move on.

Yes, she’s definitely the victim here!

OP posts:
Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:07

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 08:04

No, but you do get a healthy lifestyle with things to do. Not watching TikTok’s in bed all day!

By your own admission she’s at work during the day.
Your constant attempt to change the goal posts so people belittle your “friend” is pathetic.

OvernightBloats · 11/06/2026 08:07

You clearly have contempt for her so this friendship has run its course. Do her a favour and move on.

Namechangeforthisdilemma1 · 11/06/2026 08:06

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:38

To be honest yes I do because while she works 6 hour days so that she can “bed rot” (she wears it like a badge of pride) and scroll on social media, I’m out at the gym, running, at social groups, with other friends. Then she has the nerve to look down on others

You’re not her friend. Just move on and find other friends with similar interests to you.

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:06

DietCoke247 · 11/06/2026 08:04

I think it’s sensible. Sleep protects mental health. By the time the 30s come along most women are sleep deprived due to bringing up kids. So make the most of your sleep in your 20s. I wouldn’t include Fri/Sat nights in this.

Rubbish, you can’t bank sleep. Everyone planning to have kids should make the most of their freedom before that, not live a restricted lifestyle because one day they might have to.

EmpressaurusKitty · 11/06/2026 08:06

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

The flip side of me getting up to go to the gym at 5am is that I often do start getting ready for bed at 9pm unless I’m out that evening.

I have absolutely no problem with your thinking that lame - judge as much as you like, it doesn’t affect me!

ThatCyanCat · 11/06/2026 08:06

I'm a morning person too, OP, and it's nothing more than a natural sleeping pattern. I'm useless after about 10pm. It doesn't make me superior in any way. Thank God for the people who can do important work at night...

honeylulu · 11/06/2026 08:05

faithfultoGeorgeMichael · 11/06/2026 07:32

my dad used to say "you missed the whole of the day"
and I'd say "but you missed the whole of the night"

She isn't lazy, just different to you, you are judgemental.

Ha, same. My dad was a morning person. I am not. He'd bang on about me missing the daylight but he had a nap in the afternoon (which he wouldn't have needed if he hadn't been up since stupid o'clock). I would gleefully point out how much daylight that wasted.

Sanctimonious morning people, ugh. Then they have a toddler bedtime too. Let us have our pattern, you have yours.

When I read the thread title I thought it was going to be someone whose "laziness" directly affects you, like you go on holiday together but you have to do all the organising. But actually she's just choosing to live her life differently to you. So what?

ChaToilLeam · 11/06/2026 08:04

I think she is probably exaggerating in response to your get-up-early saintliness. 😇

Either way, you don't seem to like or respect each other, so why bother?

DietCoke247 · 11/06/2026 08:04

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:00

It’s definitely lame with people in their 20s go to bed at 9pm!!

I think it’s sensible. Sleep protects mental health. By the time the 30s come along most women are sleep deprived due to bringing up kids. So make the most of your sleep in your 20s. I wouldn’t include Fri/Sat nights in this.

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 08:04

Glowingup · 11/06/2026 08:02

“A pillar of being an adult” 😂 you sound about 15. Anyway you will realise in life that you don’t get a medal or recognition for any of it really so you might as well do what you want.

No, but you do get a healthy lifestyle with things to do. Not watching TikTok’s in bed all day!

OP posts:
myothersockis · 11/06/2026 08:03

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:00

It’s definitely lame with people in their 20s go to bed at 9pm!!

I don’t go to bed at 9pm! But a healthy lifestyle is far better than rotting in bed.

OP posts:
Lordofthebantams · 11/06/2026 08:03

I think the difference is that people that sleep say 10pm-6am are generally up and out at the weekend, visiting places, going to see things, walking, being active and seeing the world outside of their house. People that sleep 2am-10am are often watching TV / phones and missing the daylight/ opportunity to be active and out.

Glowingup · 11/06/2026 08:02

“A pillar of being an adult” 😂 you sound about 15. Anyway you will realise in life that you don’t get a medal or recognition for any of it really so you might as well do what you want.

Swiftie1878 · 11/06/2026 08:02

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:58

To be honest I don’t know. We’ve been friends since uni and she’s never really grown up. I do think it’s time to cut her off

I think that would be for the best. For both of you.

CharlesPetrescu · 11/06/2026 08:00

Surprising that you are friends. Do you have anything in common with her, OP?

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:00

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

It’s definitely lame with people in their 20s go to bed at 9pm!!

DietCoke247 · 11/06/2026 08:00

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:35

It’s less about the sleeping pattern (although annoying - you’re an adult, not a teenager), but more about the fact she does nothing all day, nothing at the weekends, and has the nerve to ridicule me for having productive hobbies!

Her hobby is going to bed! Leave her be, as long as she likes her life, she’s doing absolutely nothing wrong.