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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find lazy adults really grating?

717 replies

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:26

I am well aware that I may sound like a massive bitch here.

I have a friend who is very lazy. She would rather be up until 2/3am on social media and sleep in until 10am everyday. We are late 20s. All she does is go to work (she’s a nursery assistant, fair play that’s hard work but still), and then come home and sit in bed. She ridicules me for going to the gym, running, having hobbies. She thinks it’s all a waste of time. She purposefully chooses 11-5 shifts so that she can lay in bed all morning.

It grates on me so much. I’m very much a morning person and while I understand not everyone is, I think it’s a pillar of being an adult that you’re out of bed by a reasonable time, even on the weekends. She’ll often text and say that she’s still in bed at 3pm. No mental health issues, just laziness.

AIBU to find this really grating?

OP posts:
Historian0111101000 · 11/06/2026 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

If you don't care what people do why are you on a forum where people share experiences?

YouputthetwatinKathleen · 11/06/2026 08:30

KateSixer · 11/06/2026 08:20

Hey @myothersockis , maybe all the people who have time to post on here at this time in the day are like your friend!

Everyone else has gone to work or the gym! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Got to go myself. Have a good day everyone.

Wow, you're leaving for work that late? Some of us started our commute hours ago!

ShetlandishMum · 11/06/2026 08:29

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:35

It’s less about the sleeping pattern (although annoying - you’re an adult, not a teenager), but more about the fact she does nothing all day, nothing at the weekends, and has the nerve to ridicule me for having productive hobbies!

You are her friend why?

Grammarnut · 11/06/2026 08:28

Not all of us find the gym fascinating. It's boring, OP, I'd much rather stay home and read a book. Your friend works hard and I doubt she chooses her shift - shifts tend to be allocated. Her sleep pattern is different from yours so she gets up later. I don't think you two are friends, tbh.

MajorSamanthaCarter · 11/06/2026 08:27

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:48

No health issues, trust me if she had them she’d play them up. She had a minor car accident once (and we’re talking minor, some minor damage to her bumper) and she was still off work ten weeks later, claiming she couldn’t walk

You obviously hate her so drop this pretense of a friendship. Do you think you're better than everyone or just this one person?

Borgonzola · 11/06/2026 08:26

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:29

5:30, 7 is a lie in at the weekend!

Wow, I’m sure someone will be along with a medal soon!

I see my MIL’s strange morality about getting up early isn’t confined to her. You aren’t better than anyone else because you get up at half 5

WhatILoved · 11/06/2026 08:26

You do you. I recommend a book for you it’s called Let Them

C8H10N4O2 · 11/06/2026 08:25

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:36

Because she has the nerve to ridicule me! When all she does (literally) is sit in bed

Her hobby then is social media engagement and ridiculing you, your hobbies are sewing and ridiculing her.

Not seeing why hobby sewing is morally better than social media as a hobby. Both can lead. to jobs but rarely earn a great deal.

BettyyB00 · 11/06/2026 08:25

Are you good friends, do you think?

Abyzou · 11/06/2026 08:25

You sound like an insufferable, sanctimonious bitch.

Hobbies: gymming and running 😆. Read a book once in a while ffs, visit a museum, go to a ballet. Your 'hobbies' are duller than tiktok scrolling!

Getting up at 5:30, woppee, have a 🏅.

Honeyhonay · 11/06/2026 08:25

KateSixer · 11/06/2026 08:20

Hey @myothersockis , maybe all the people who have time to post on here at this time in the day are like your friend!

Everyone else has gone to work or the gym! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Got to go myself. Have a good day everyone.

Going out on a limb that 8:20 is peak commuting time and it’s more than reasonable a majority of people are sat on a bus, at a station or on a train.

6ate9 · 11/06/2026 08:24

ObliviousCoalmine · 11/06/2026 08:23

As far as I’m aware, (and I’ve 20 years on you), the pillars of being an adult are attempting to pay bills on time, being perplexed by the constant rise in the cost of both cheese and petrol and trying not to eat biscuits for tea every night.

I am unaware of any requirement to be a productive morning person to thrive.

Being an adult means you can eat whatever you want!!!

ObliviousCoalmine · 11/06/2026 08:23

As far as I’m aware, (and I’ve 20 years on you), the pillars of being an adult are attempting to pay bills on time, being perplexed by the constant rise in the cost of both cheese and petrol and trying not to eat biscuits for tea every night.

I am unaware of any requirement to be a productive morning person to thrive.

thedogmademessagain · 11/06/2026 08:22

She's supporting herself so not your business what she does with her spare time.

echt · 11/06/2026 08:22

@myothersockis is being massively unreasonable by generalising about adults based on her friend, whose behaviour is none of her fecking business.

If you were my friend, I'd laugh at you too.

There is nothing to be proud of for getting up at 5.30., it's not as if you can help it.

Hang on...that username.

Namingbaba · 11/06/2026 08:21

I think both you are wrong to judge the other. When I clicked the post I thought it was going to be about adults not taking care of their children or themselves well. Sleeping in when you can and not doing hobbies wouldn't bother me if their actions aren't affecting anyone else.

6ate9 · 11/06/2026 08:21

Lourdes12 · 11/06/2026 08:11

People have different energy levels and choose to spend their lives in different ways. At least she’s not going to suffer from burn out like so many other people in our society. I personally can’t stand this culture of keeping yourself busy at all times and working yourself to the ground

Same, nothing wrong with living a slower pace of life in your free time. Not everyone wants to be exercising, meeting up volunteering and generally rushing around. It’s nice to just sit and relax. I’ve never set foot in a gym, don’t play sports, don’t go running but I’m slim and healthy.

RMAC67 · 11/06/2026 08:21

Yes, you sound like a massive bitch. Worry about yourself.

Hohofortherobbers · 11/06/2026 08:21

@myothersockisif all she does 'LITERALLY' is sit in bed, when do you see her? Do you sit in bed with her?

Newmummypamela · 11/06/2026 08:20

Sorry, but you don't sound like a nice person and I would find you annoying! Stop being so judgemental and just do you. What other people choose to do is literally none of your business.
I'm an early riser and do gym/spin before work, but I'd certainly never be scornful about someone else being different to me .... because, everyone IS different!

KateSixer · 11/06/2026 08:20

Hey @myothersockis , maybe all the people who have time to post on here at this time in the day are like your friend!

Everyone else has gone to work or the gym! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Got to go myself. Have a good day everyone.

Goditsmemargaret · 11/06/2026 08:18

Of first off you and this friend are no longer compatible. What actually happened that evoked this reaction in you?

Secondly, you're only in your twenties. You need to get off this track you're on of comparing, judging and harbouring feelings of contempt and superiority. It will be a long, lonely and sad life for you otherwise.

YourOliveBalonz · 11/06/2026 08:18

I think you would have been better off writing your OP with a focus on her criticism or ridicule of you, where her different lifestyle choices are a bit of the backstory, rather than making the focus be her ‘laziness’ and how ‘lazy’ people annoy you. Can you see all you are doing is criticising the way other people live their lives despite it having no impact on you i.e. the thing you say your friend is doing that has annoyed you?

Delatron · 11/06/2026 08:17

Oh and good for her for prioritising rest after an active job. As a society we do ourselves no favours by having to be busy and rushing around the whole time. We underestimate the need for rest. She is just listening to her body.

untamedheart · 11/06/2026 08:17

myothersockis · 11/06/2026 07:48

No health issues, trust me if she had them she’d play them up. She had a minor car accident once (and we’re talking minor, some minor damage to her bumper) and she was still off work ten weeks later, claiming she couldn’t walk

I wasn’t diagnosed at her age. None of this was discovered until I was early thirties