To find lazy adults really grating?

Ah yes "grating" that well known synonym for "concerned" 🙄

Oh yes I totally agree. I just dont agree that exercise itself is unproductive is all- if it helps your physical and mental health then its absolutely productive

Proust did all his writing in bed and was highly productive.

She isn't remotely concerned about the "friend"!

That’s Mumsnet for you, OP. This forum is full of people who act like the default response to any concern is “I don’t care” and “how dare you care.”

It’s not really a good place to raise concerns about things like declining motivation or lack of interest in young people, even though those are real issues worth discussing.

Any attempt to talk about it usually gets shut down immediately by people who pride themselves on being detached from everything and everyone, as if not caring is a personality trait worth celebrating.

This

You've written an entire post about how important it is to relax and finished it by calling someone an "angry reactive nutter". The irony is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.

OP hasn't actually provided any examples of the friend 'ridiculing' her. My guess is she doesn't, but maybe made a comment in response to the OPs apparent hatred of her and need to feel superior.

Meh, I really can't get riled up about what other people do if its harming no one but themselves!

You'd HATE me then - I get up between 10 and 12, I do 8 hours work two or three days a week, i often go to bed at 4am.

You could not pay me to be up at 6am or go to the gym. Even if I wasn't disabled, fuck that shit.

On non-shift days I will mooch about, do a bit of writing, make a video, edit a video, perhaps there's an illustration/art commission to do.. or just something for fun.

Your measure of productive, worthwhile, value... is not the same as someone elses.

We don't all have to be frantically busy to not be 'lazy'. There will be no chufty badge when you meet your maker, for being crazy busy and a super judgey pants about others.

Indeed they do, and they enjoy it and find it works for them - which is wonderful. But it isn't the only way for people to make the most of their lives.

I'm disabled - which I realise many people who don't appreciate their privilege will view as synonymous with 'lazy' - and, if I were to go to a gym and do the kind of session that many able-bodied people do each morning and find will invigorate and set them up brilliantly for the day, I would take two weeks to physically recover and be unable to do almost anything but sleep during that time.

Similarly, people who are able-bodied and could hit the gym, but prefer to spend their spare time doing other things, are also not wrong or necessarily any less productive. Theoretically, our politicians are the great and the good who make wise, productive, far-reaching decisions on our behalf - but we don't criticise them for 'just spending time talking, thinking about things and looking at spreadsheets' rather than admiring them for how fast they can run or how much weight they can bench.

None of us are wrong; it's just different people living different lives and making different choices that work for them.

Well you’re looking down on her as well, so both as bad as each other in that respect. Do you actually like each other?!

Here you go. Here's your gold star for being a premium adult.

You're definitely just jealous 😅

My shifts are from 7am because of the nature of my job. Am always exhausted !! I did a late shift once and I felt so good !! Unfortunately not suitable for le due to childcare etc.I like your ‘friend’s’ shift pattern tbh. And what she does in her FREE time has nothing to do with you.

I have a young baby and absolutely DREAM of being able to spend all day in bed doing nothing.

What is your point exactly? Why are you invested in what your 'friend' does/ doesn't do?
Tbh I wouldn't consider someone a friend if they were so judgy. Let her live her life how she wants to, she works so is earning, hardly dossing around as a life style work shyster who is able to work but avoids it like the plague.

Why are you friends with somebody who ridicules you? That’s the problem not your different lifestyles.

It does seem bizarre to me when some people can't understand that their way isn't automatically the only correct one and everybody else is thus 'wrong'. Why is being awake at 5am apparently virtuous, but going to bed 'early' and not having the stamina or desire to stay up until 1am is also virtuous?!

You may as well denounce as 'lazy' all of the Japanese people who don't speak any English; even though the vast majority of us are the opposite way around. Not superior/inferior; just different.

Some hard-of-thinking people even do it with night workers, where they just cannot get it into their heads that somebody in bed all day is no more 'lazy' than you were when you slept all the time whilst they were up and working.

You sound very judgmental OP. It’s her life to do as she pleases. Why shouldn’t she stay in bed all morning if she wants to? I don’t understand why her choices are any of your business.

If we want to make bones about it, we still have and benefit from the writings and contemplations of great writers and philosophers from centuries ago; yet the people who were super fit and fast at running... well, we don't even know who most of them are, much less benefit from their skills.

Dont people keep fit for themselves though?- to keep their minds and bodies healthy and fit so they can then be more productive in their lives? thats why most famous successful business people exercise- eg Richard Branson and Alan sugar talk a lot about this, how doing regular exercise keeps them productive in their business lives

In what way are your hobbies (gym, running, socialising) productive?

Your friend’s lifestyle doesn’t appeal to me either but each to their own. As other’s have said, given you seem contemptuous of this person why not just step away from the friendship?

Agree! What actual difference does it make if someone sleeps 8 hours 9-5 or 1-9?

Night owls seem to be a bit more accepting of different personalities and preferences - you dont see us slagging off people who are in bed by ten as boring and childish, for example!

If she doesnt have kids or lots of responsibilities whats really wrong with staying in bed and relaxing?
And even if she is a bit lazy, so what? It's not impacting anyone else. There are far worse character traits to have - judginess and self-righteousness for example..

You're just different. But doesn't seem much point staying friends when neither of you respects the other's lifestyle.

It is not normal to be this angry about what someone else does in their free time and what time they spend in bed. There must be something wrong in your own life for you to have such a strong reaction. Maybe you need more rest. Are you one of those people who feels guilty if they're relaxing?

Be careful there, op. I’ve always been a night owl and my friends presumed I was lazy. Now I’m 60 and I’ve outperformed most of them. I always worked very hard, I just hated morning time