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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to say our family will miss a Wednesday wedding in term time?

115 replies

Midweekweddingwoes · 10/06/2026 23:29

DSIL is sulking because we have said we can't all make her wedding.... But she's booked it for a Wednesday in term time next (academic) year. We live over 200 miles away and so does another of her siblings. Our kids will be in year 11 and year 13 so we just can't ask them to miss at least 2, realistically 3, days off school for her wedding.

We are thinking DH will go and I will stay at home , and DBIL is planning to do the same. She's really upset with us apparently, but while I understand she wants to save money I just can't understand why she would expect teens to miss a chunk of school in their exam year for it .

OP posts:
SnappyQuoter · 11/06/2026 00:38

If her siblings have kids already quite grown up, then is she an older bride? Maybe she’s got a bit of “it’s finally my time so everyone should do what I want” going on.

OneThreadOnlybyN · 11/06/2026 00:31

Well, she's only got herself to blame hasn't she!

a good stiff ignoring is required!

ElvirRamcic · 11/06/2026 00:17

I have a Wednesday wedding later this year. I’ll be going but DH and DD wont be, on account of the fact that I wouldn’t take DD out of school for it. No issues with the happy couple, they accept it.

Floppyearedlab · 11/06/2026 00:01

Midweekweddingwoes · 10/06/2026 23:36

Both have medical conditions that mean they always miss several days of school a year for unavoidable medical appointments, so they feel that they don't want to miss any more

Show quote history

you literally don't need to justify it OP - they have school so they can't go. She is selfish booking it mid week just to save a bit of money and expecting others to adjust their lives.
The only time mid week weddings are acceptable IMO is if it's in the holidays, you are both teachers, and all the rest of your guests are either teachers, retired, or unemployed.

managingexpectations · 10/06/2026 23:56

I’ve been to 2 midweek weddings BUT they were both over the Christmas/new year period when a lot of guests were off work/school and everyone attending stayed locally. Not me though I had to use 2 days leave for each

Let your SIL sulk, your children don’t even want to go so your plan is perfect. She had to realise that her choices might mean that a few guests won’t be able to attend

ErrolTheDragon · 10/06/2026 23:56

She’s being unreasonable, obviously.
Be glad your kids have a good work ethic! Maybe if she gets over her sulk you and they could do a video greeting in the evening or suchlike?

ilovesooty · 10/06/2026 23:39

She can have her wedding when she wants but she'll have to accept that people might not be able to attend. Let her sulk.

Bubblesgun · 10/06/2026 23:38

Week days weddings are absolutely ridiculous in general but particularly during exam years. I m with you @Midweekweddingwoes

let her sulk. She ll see when she has kids. Karma

Ohthatsabitshit · 10/06/2026 23:36

Cut costs for one couple while everyone else loses work? I think they can expect a large number of guests to opt out.

Original poster
Midweekweddingwoes · 10/06/2026 23:36

Random321 · 10/06/2026 23:34

I don't think 2/3 days will have much impact on exam results but that's your choice.

If they don't want to go is there no way they could stay with friends so both you and your DH could go?

All that said, if someone has a mid week wedding, they have to realise it won't suit a lot of people.

Both have medical conditions that mean they always miss several days of school a year for unavoidable medical appointments, so they feel that they don't want to miss any more

OP posts:
Original poster
Midweekweddingwoes · 10/06/2026 23:34

IStoleTheBandwagon · 10/06/2026 23:31

Let her sulk. As MN likes to say "it's not a summons" etc!

Oh yeah, I mean the teens are clear they don't want to miss several days of school for it.
She knew full well it was their exam year! That's what I don't understand. I mean fine I understand the wish to cut costs considerably and have a week day wedding but to have it in term time when we live so far away felt like she didn't care if we went or not so we were a bit taken aback to hear she was upset

OP posts:
Random321 · 10/06/2026 23:34

I don't think 2/3 days will have much impact on exam results but that's your choice.

If they don't want to go is there no way they could stay with friends so both you and your DH could go?

All that said, if someone has a mid week wedding, they have to realise it won't suit a lot of people.

PollyBell · 10/06/2026 23:32

I would miss a Wednesday wedding even if I didnt have children

JemimaTiggywinkles · 10/06/2026 23:32

If they were primary age I’d say take them out. But not in year 11 or year 13. Your plan is sensible.

IStoleTheBandwagon · 10/06/2026 23:31

Let her sulk. As MN likes to say "it's not a summons" etc!

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