AIBU to say our family will miss a Wednesday wedding in term time?

2-3 days is a hell of a long time during GCSE/A level year.

Why would missing 2 or 3 days matter? The DC might be off for a cold for longer. This obsession that every day at school counts baffles me as an ex-teacher. Go to the wedding. DC will enjoy it.

You really expect a 17/18 year old studying for A levels with their own exam stresses to be responsible for their 15/16 year old sibling?

They wouldn’t be home alone though, they’d be with a 17/18 year old sibling.

I begrudged taking my kids out for 2 days for a family wedding in primary school. Definitely would not doing it in secondary, especially yrs 11 and 13.

Bridezilla in action. She'll either get over it - or won't.

No way would I be doing that. Annual leave is precious, and you don’t have many more opportunities for holidays with your DC before they start uni etc.

Why would anyone do that when they could just stay home? OP said it would the three days of annual leave. Plus childcare (overnight babysitter?), accomodation, and a 400 mile round trip?

All to appease an inconsiderate sulker.

It's not just one night though. It would be a minimm of 2 nights (3 days incuding travel). I would not leave a year 11 alone that long, especially if they had not yet turned 16.

My SIL wanted my son to go to her son’s wedding in Ireland on a weekend in GCSE time. I said no because he wouldn’t have done any revision with so much going on around him and if the flights back were delayed or cancelled, it would have been utterly stressful getting back for a Monday GCSE paper. She put up counter-arguments but I held firm and my husband and other child went without my son and me.

With dc in Y11 and 13, we would just both go. They can stay home by themselves for a night (200 miles is an easy 1 day drive so only one overnight unless Dh wanted to stay longer, then fine). At 15, I was doing a week or two home alone, walking to school, getting to sports practice, etc when my mum had to travel for work (single mum, no family help). Unless they are SEN, they can manage a night home alone surely. 😂

I agree - When people book there weddings on week days or abroad they must have it in their heads that not everyone can come, dont cause drama or sulk. You want as much people to attend then have it on a day or a location that is good for majority of your guests
Op she has a choice save money or have more guests and pay more up to her
Simples

At this point in time OP cannot possibly know whether her teens will have any coursework deadlines, mocks or NEA's (espeically the one in A level year.

My daughter didn't evn want to travel to a family wedding in half term of her GCSE year as it wouod disrupt her revision.

Why should she have to go to all that trouble and expense? The bride made a choice and so has OP.

She sounds very self-centred. YANBU and she should be happy her brother will still be there with the fact it’s a Wednesday and so far to travel. What a weirdo

Because people w/o kids and a long way away from their own exams don't give a shit and assume it's 'just a few days off.'

It's not reasonable, but that's why.

What's a few days off? they think. Also: I guess with the younger one you could be fined? Which they may not know (or care about.) Not sure if they can do that at A level.

For family weddings, we take the kids out of school but they are still in primary school. Your DC are old enough to make their own decision on if they want to miss school or not.

But you SIL can't be upset if she booked a weekday wedding. She has to know some people won't come. I booked a Friday wedding completely understanding some people wouldn't be able to come.

Don't give it a second of thought. Your husband should reconsider going, too. Sulkers should not get rewarded.

Can you go with your husband and get someone to keep an eye on them ?
Someone very trustworthy and able to deal with literally anything that might happen ?
Then you could potentially travel on the day of the wedding, stay over a night and come back next day ?
200 miles is too far to just go for the day

She’s an arse. Let her sulk

She'll have fewer people there, so it'll be even cheaper - just what she wanted!

Can you not go with DH or are the teenagers reliant on you for transport?

Nothing wrong with a quick register office or civil ceremony marriage on a weekday, maybe with a few friends that have booked the day off.

As someone has said, that is different to 'playing princesses' ( love that phrase) for a full blown wedding in term time.

Of course people are going to put their own families first, saving their annual leave and not disrupting school studies or work. Weddings are only the centre of the universe for those getting married. For everyone else, it's just a nice day and evening out.

Also I agree with an evening do being totally pointless; nobody will be drinking and everyone will be clock watching.

You have to be pretty self absorbed as a bride to think it would be any other way.

I wouldn’t particularly respect the opinions of people for whom not missing school in gcse/a level years was deemed a poor excuse rather than a bleedingly obvious fact.