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AIBU?

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Bonus payment for referring a friend for a job - would you share it?!

61 replies

CaseClosedWineOpened · 10/06/2026 23:25

A few months ago, a colleague in another team mentioned that they were recruiting for a role. I said I might know someone suitable.

I spoke to a friend and she was really keen so I forwarded her CV. Fast-forward and she got the job with a decent pay bump over her previous salary. Really pleased for her!

It turns out I am going to get a referral bonus of £2000. I wasn’t aware of this when I referred her because I’ve only been there a short time myself.

So, my question is - if you were my friend, how would you feel about my windfall? TBH I am planning to keep it, but thinking maybe I’ll take her out for a little celebration, my treat? 🥂

Would love to hear perspectives.

YABU - share it you selfish cow
YANBU - it’s all yours!

OP posts:
Crrt · 10/06/2026 23:45

She’s gotten a wage bump and a new job. You’re getting this as you’ve saved the company money on the recruitment process. You’ve both won out of it and it’s totally normal to keep it, it would be weird to share it.

CaseClosedWineOpened · 10/06/2026 23:45

7238SM · 10/06/2026 23:39

If you were already working there and had no clue of their referral scheme- how would your friend know?

Yes, take her out if you want and pay as a nice treat/congrats thing. She has already benefitted by your referral by getting the job and pay increase and in time, IF she refers someone, maybe she can get the referral fee too.

IF I was asked in the future then I'd say that yes, I did get a referral fee but as you said OP, you apparently had no idea there even was one and it wasn't your motivation for referral.

I really should have been aware - it turns out there’s a clear referral scheme policy and it just didn’t occur to me to look until the hiring colleague thanked me for the referral and mentioned the bonus! 😆

OP posts:
thinkfast · 10/06/2026 23:44

Referral fees of this type are really common place OP. The typical way to deal with it is to take the friend out for lunch.

5foot5 · 10/06/2026 23:43

I was in this position once and I certainly didn't share it!

CaseClosedWineOpened · 10/06/2026 23:40

Appreciate the feedback so far, thank you. I think I’m worried that she’ll feel resentful that I’m getting this bonus because of her and then keeping it all to myself 😬

OP posts:
7238SM · 10/06/2026 23:39

If you were already working there and had no clue of their referral scheme- how would your friend know?

Yes, take her out if you want and pay as a nice treat/congrats thing. She has already benefitted by your referral by getting the job and pay increase and in time, IF she refers someone, maybe she can get the referral fee too.

IF I was asked in the future then I'd say that yes, I did get a referral fee but as you said OP, you apparently had no idea there even was one and it wasn't your motivation for referral.

ofcolitas · 10/06/2026 23:36

The ususal thing is to take them out for lunch, no need to share the bonus.

beasmithwentworth · 10/06/2026 23:29

Yes keep it and treat her. No need to share!

SqueakyFromme · 10/06/2026 23:28

I’m sure they are happy to get a good position, and definitely take them out for a really good meal, (and drinks !) it’s very kind of you.

MyKidsAreTooNoisy · 10/06/2026 23:27

And then she can treat you with her pay bump. I would mention to her just in case it comes out and it’s unnecessarily awkward.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 10/06/2026 23:27

I wouldn’t share it, treat her if you want to celebrate her new job but there’s no need to share it