Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think men should not be allowed to be gynaecologists

637 replies

CaragianettE · 10/06/2026 22:45

Just that, really. Saw one last week. He was trying to be helpful, but I really really really don’t want to discuss ‘do you get clots’ ‘do you experience flooding’ ‘do you find intercourse painful’ with a strange man. Yes it would be awkward with a strange woman too, but at least I know she likely has some lived experience of what we are talking about. TBH I also question men’s motives for choosing this job, not just the licence to look at strange women’s vaginas, but I think there’s something deep in the male psyche that just loves laying down the law to women about their reproductive systems. It’s a job for a woman, and while I know men were allowed to train for it in the past, I think they should now be phased out.

OP posts:
BillieWiper · 11/06/2026 09:40

That's sexist. Women can be dick doctors?

An orthopedic surgeon doesn't need to have experienced multiple bone fractures personally to do their job?

Both men and women should be allowed to do any job.

In healthcare, you're entitled to request a woman and if they can supply one they will. But sometimes there isn't one. It doesn't mean men should be banned.

Sadcafe · 11/06/2026 09:39

You have every right to express a preference for a male or female doctor,but to say they cant work in a particular field because of their sex is just stupid. Presumably using that argument you shouldn’t have females working in urology as a not insignificant number of patients are male.

mumuseli · 11/06/2026 09:31

I feel people are being a bit harsh on the OP. The same thoughts have crossed my mind tbh, about how out of all the body parts / medical specialisms, why would a man choose gyno in particular. Same for breast care.
I certainly don't think all these men chose that specialism for nefarious reasons, but sadly I expect there are some who have.
Is there an equivalent the other way round, eg a hospital department that's only for male urology? If so, it would be interesting to know how many female doctors specialise in that.
Historically, males have been given greater status, and even though things are changing, that idea still permeates - I can remember as a kid getting the impression from books, tv etc that nurses were women and doctors were men, ugh. So I think that helps us subconsciously 'accept' it when our gynaecologist is a man.

Alittlefrustrated · 11/06/2026 09:31

We'd have to say a male GP couldn't deal with gynae issues too, and get rid of the male doctors working in Fertility units.
Whose to say there are thousands of females wanting to work in these fields?
Could female doctors find themselves pushed to fill jobs they don't want?

Anarchy99 · 11/06/2026 09:29

Those advocating for no men to be allowed - there aren’t enough female gynaes to go around the people that have expressed a preference.

And I will get flamed but women doctors who have children are less likely to be as available due to mat leave, part time working etc so you would presumably need more of them to ensure that you get the same amount of cover that you would from a man

MissRaspberryRipples · 11/06/2026 09:29

You're allowed to have a preference OP but you can't say that a male cannot be a gynaecologist just because you seem to think that a male one is automatically a pervert for choosing that profession. How many men see female doctors and nurses about their problems with their genitals and no one calls those female staff perverts for having to look at Willy's etc in their line of work. I mean female care workers do personal care on both genders so are they suddenly perverts for undressing and washing a male service user? I'm pretty sure that no doctor nurse etc have got themselves thousands into debt from medical school fees just to think "oh now I'm qualified to perv on a woman's vagina". Grow up. Ask for a female staff member if that's your preference and leave it at that

Imdunfer · 11/06/2026 09:25

KnittyKnotty · 11/06/2026 09:21

If you don't like what the NHS offer go private.

Because every woman who has a fear of men from being raped has the money to expedite her gynaecology treatment by doing that. Sure.

Not even starting on the fact that the vast, vast majority of private consultants are men.

Anarchy99 · 11/06/2026 09:25

aurpod1980 · 11/06/2026 08:44

I had the most horrific experience with a male obstetrician. I’ve had to have therapy and I most certainly (according to my clinical psychologist) have PTSD. I will not describe the experience other to say it was incredibly invasive, unnecessary and I was injured and bruised due to his brute strength during the procedure. Could a woman have done that to me in the same procedure, no chance as he was sweating as he did it he was using so much force. So no men should not be. He should not have been.

And I refused to have a smear for 25 years because of how badly I was hurt by a female clinician

TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis · 11/06/2026 09:23

I have had a horribly painful smear from a woman who seemed to find the whole process embarrassing.

She was faffing about the fact that I had slightly misplaced the "skirt" of paper - something that was entirely useless to adding dignity.

I've always been completely shameless about a smear, one woman offered to tack one on to a different appointment, and I said if she didn't mind that I hadn't showered, fine. She said that as long as she couldn't smell me from there it was fine - we had a laugh.

The other woman made a total fussy faff of it - tensed me up and I ended up bleeding.

A man who was straightforward about it would have been far better.

Monty36 · 11/06/2026 09:22

SpudGunToo · 11/06/2026 09:09

Why? If there are enough females so that every woman with a female preference gets to see one then why should it be increased beyond that?

What matters is how able they are. How capable and competent. Not whether they are male or female.
Are we going back in time or something ? In modern society this sort of conversation has no place whatsoever.

Imdunfer · 11/06/2026 09:22

SpudGunToo · 11/06/2026 09:12

But more females than males are employed by the NHS, as you yourself admit.

Are you saying you want to skew this even further, or should we start discriminating against women in other areas to even out the numbers?

I'm not saying anything except that it would be perfectly easy to skew gynaecology in favour of women doctors.

KnittyKnotty · 11/06/2026 09:21

If you don't like what the NHS offer go private.

PetulaGordeno · 11/06/2026 09:20

I can remember years ago having to go an emergency department in a women’s hospital and seeing a female gynae. I didn’t just turn up I was sent by my GP. Terrible Endo flare and a lovely side of genital herpes at the same time which had travelled down each leg.
I was on my own in my 20’s in such pain, and a bit tearful. And this is what I got told…
oh do stop blubbering there are women in here in real pain giving birth or their babies have just died.
By the time I got seen again it was by a male gynae and he I admitted me. He gave me a lidocaine injection into each bum cheek for the pain and I slept all night.
It took me 18 years to be diagnosed with endo and most female gynaes I saw who had least sympathy. It’s just period pain, dear.
And when the menopause finally came, and I thought I could never have HRT, it was a male gynae who prescribed HRT and oversaw it for 6 months.
I have had that many issues over the years, like so many women, when you are in agony you just need someone competent.

GingerdeadMan · 11/06/2026 09:19

Ikwym, but there would be a shortage if men stopped doing the job and that's not really helping women.

I had an awful internal ultrasound with a bloke once who wanted to chat to me like he was showing me his holiday snaps. Poke, poke, poke....ooh look, look! Its your ovary! LOOK!
Oh do fuck off!

ClearFruit · 11/06/2026 09:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Talking absolute rubbish.

Additup · 11/06/2026 09:16

In a previous life I used to work in urology. I have seen much, much penis. Day in day out. I even held quite a few during procedures.

Like other healthcare professionals I separated the penis from the person and any hint of sex.

I love sex/cock/however you want to put it, but it is all about context.

YABVU OP male gynaecologists are healthcare professionals and a vagina etc is just another body part to them like a leg or and ear.

SpudGunToo · 11/06/2026 09:12

Imdunfer · 11/06/2026 08:40

You wouldn't have to restrict the total, we have more than enough female doctors unable to obtain a training places, it's partly what their current strikes are about.

There are 20,000 resident doctors, at least half of them female, in this year's cohort alone. The last estimated I saw was 100,000 trained doctors with no route into specialist training. Some of them are driving taxis.

But more females than males are employed by the NHS, as you yourself admit.

Are you saying you want to skew this even further, or should we start discriminating against women in other areas to even out the numbers?

Fluffytoebeanz · 11/06/2026 09:12

Thechaseison71 · 10/06/2026 22:47

How weird.

Tbh I was much more comfortable with my make gynae than the female on I got after during the stages of my cervical cancer

Me too

FedUpCelery · 11/06/2026 09:11

CaragianettE · 10/06/2026 22:50

Adam ‘brats and twats’ Kay? That Adam Kay?

I was trying to remember what this man had been quoted as saying that made me never want to pick up one of his books.

I don't think you're being unreasonable in finding it more uncomfortable discussing these things with a man.
Anecdotally, I was offered a male gynae at an appointment and like all the other women who were in the waiting room I said that I would wait for the woman to be free.
I don't know if my experience would have been better with him but I really should have reported the woman.
I've never been back for any sort of gynae appointment since as I'm not up for a repeat of that.

What it points to is a careful need for training and screening.

SpudGunToo · 11/06/2026 09:09

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 08:24

That's not what I'm suggesting, to be clear.

My suggestion is that in a situation where there are (more than) enough trainees, the ratio should be weighted in favour of females.

Why? If there are enough females so that every woman with a female preference gets to see one then why should it be increased beyond that?

Nutmuncher · 11/06/2026 09:09

Bless you OP. Life is so much easier when you let go of the pearls.

ToffeePennie · 11/06/2026 09:07

Seymour5 · 11/06/2026 08:50

Isn’t that the same for lots of doctors? DH has prostate cancer, one of the specialists is female. I’ve mainly had male doctors and surgeons, for sterilisation, hysterectomy, removal of a breast lump and haemorrhoid removal. All the ops were successful, no complaints.

It has never been an issue, and if it had been, I could have requested to see a female. We’re all different, and there is choice for those who feel the need.

My point was in my trust there is no female gynae, so you literally have no choice but to see a person who has no actual experience of what you are going through, even if only on a minor scale. I was told “this might pinch but it’s not painful” during my last procedure. I had morphine and a local and I still threw up and passed out from the pain, so clearly he was very wrong, but there is no recourse for me to choose a gynae who does have understanding. That’s the bit that really sucks.

MickyMoonshine · 11/06/2026 09:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

This doesn’t even make sense!

FudgeFudy · 11/06/2026 09:02

Speakeasier · 11/06/2026 08:40

And a woman not wanting to see a male gynaecologist is being comprehensively challenged and disagreed with. What’s your point?

No, a woman not wanting male gynaecologists to exist is being comprehensively challenged and disagreed with. Don't make things up.

PenelopePinkerton · 11/06/2026 09:01

Oh grow up.