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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think men should not be allowed to be gynaecologists

637 replies

CaragianettE · 10/06/2026 22:45

Just that, really. Saw one last week. He was trying to be helpful, but I really really really don’t want to discuss ‘do you get clots’ ‘do you experience flooding’ ‘do you find intercourse painful’ with a strange man. Yes it would be awkward with a strange woman too, but at least I know she likely has some lived experience of what we are talking about. TBH I also question men’s motives for choosing this job, not just the licence to look at strange women’s vaginas, but I think there’s something deep in the male psyche that just loves laying down the law to women about their reproductive systems. It’s a job for a woman, and while I know men were allowed to train for it in the past, I think they should now be phased out.

OP posts:
OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 10:13

SpudGunToo · 11/06/2026 09:09

Why? If there are enough females so that every woman with a female preference gets to see one then why should it be increased beyond that?

As long as that's the case, and having male gynaecologists doesn't mean women who want to see females can't, or have to wait longer than others, then it's not an issue.

LotusMandala · 11/06/2026 10:12

Batshit. I think you’ve bigger issues than having a male gynaecologist to be honest.

Sausagenbacon · 11/06/2026 10:08

The OP isn't going to come back, you know

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 10:07

Paisleybuddy · 11/06/2026 08:39

Of course they’re allowed to be upset and can complain if they want to given those circumstances, and I see why having a female is important to them however it’s unreasonable to want to have men banned from a profession which would impact waiting times for all women. Tbh believe me if you need life saving gynae surgery and time is of the essence you won’t be bothered who carried out the procedure.

I agree men shouldn't be banned. I think generally if a woman needs life saving surgery and has trauma around males, she may be able to tolerate it, but often it's retraumatising and deeply distressing. Of course, in a life or death situation that's still preferable, but it’s not great

LostNFoundSV · 11/06/2026 10:05

YANBU I always ask to see a female gynaecologist.

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 10:03

queenofcustard · 11/06/2026 08:38

I agree with them, I dont think you have a right to complain about a longer wait if you are requiring your doctor to have specific characteristics such as being female

So a rape victim shouldn't come onto mumsnet and complain that she has a longer wait to see a gynaecologist because...why?

Sliverswan · 11/06/2026 10:03

So if that's right ,and 75 % of the NHS is female
Surely 75% of gynecologists are female to
So technically we should all get a choice ,or most of us automatically get a female

bookmarket · 11/06/2026 10:02

Anarchy99 · 11/06/2026 09:56

Okay so assuming you would need, say, 1.5 female gynaes to replace each male one (due to maternity, part time working etc) then how is that going to happen?

That's ridiculous. Plenty of male consultants choose to work part time hours or in private practice so they aren't available to the NHS full-time.

SpudGunToo · 11/06/2026 10:01

Imdunfer · 11/06/2026 09:25

Because every woman who has a fear of men from being raped has the money to expedite her gynaecology treatment by doing that. Sure.

Not even starting on the fact that the vast, vast majority of private consultants are men.

It’s strange isn’t it, that the vast majority of NHS are women but that this majority if those able to charge a fortune for their services are men.

I wonder what that’s all about.

prh47bridge · 11/06/2026 10:01

MickyMoonshine · 11/06/2026 09:04

This doesn’t even make sense!

It does if you've watched or read The Handmaid's Tale. "May the Lord open" is used in these as part of the system of control, enforcing compliance and making women aware of their reproductive duties.

OP is clearly one of those posters who expected everyone to agree with her and is upset when the vast majority have not, hence turning to insults.

OtterlyAstounding · 11/06/2026 10:00

queenofcustard · 11/06/2026 08:37

I feel as though the discussion keeps shifting now and thats not a coincidence.

It started with claims about male gynaecologists themselves, then moved on to patient preferences, then workforce ratios, then sexism in medicine, then trauma, and now mammographers.

Those are all separate issues.

I completely accept that some women strongly prefer female gynaecologists, particularly if they have experienced trauma, and I agree that sexism in medicine should be tackled wherever it exists.

However, neither of those points demonstrates that male gynaecologists are unsuitable, nor do they support the original implication that men enter the specialty for inappropriate reasons or that they should be in "the minority".

The reason I keep returning to the study you posted is that it simply doesn't support the conclusions being drawn from it. It tells us about patient preferences. It doesn't tell us what the "ideal" workforce ratio is, and it certainly doesn't tell us anything about the motives or character of male gynaecologists.

It feels as though we've moved a long way from your original claims, which suggests those claims were harder to defend than the later points about patient choice and trauma and so its not surprising you keep bringing up new issues.

No, its simply that all of those things are relevant to the issue, and there's no point in talking in circles on issues we won't agree on, as I disagree with the conclusions you've drawn.

I think that a quarter of women actively wanting or needing female gynaecologists and the majority of the rest not having a strong preference, means that most gynaecologists should ideally be female.

KrazyKatty · 11/06/2026 09:59

I agree OP. I’ve had a very dodgy older male consultant Gynae who did a full examination with no chaperone present. He was definitely dodgy. I wish I’d said no. ☹️

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 11/06/2026 09:56

Anarchy99 · 11/06/2026 09:56

Okay so assuming you would need, say, 1.5 female gynaes to replace each male one (due to maternity, part time working etc) then how is that going to happen?

that’s an absolutely ridiculous theory

Discodance1988 · 11/06/2026 09:56

YABU. Every male gynecologist ive seen has treated me with respect and care and been extremely gentle.. the women gynecologists I've seen I've been left feeling violated and sore.

For context I have had 2 scans due to painful intercourse internal and external both times, the first one a woman did the scan and she was very forceful with the probe, I left in agony. The 2nd one was done by a man and he was incredibly gentle with the probe and very respectful.

Another time I had to have a biopsy on my cervix I've had this done twice, the woman did the first one and I nearly fainted and was told 'its not that bad' like it's perfectly pain free and normal to have a chunk of your cervix punctured and ripped out.. the 2nd time a man did it, he allowed me to have gas and air and he put me to ease and most importantly he was as gentle as he could be and it didnt hurt anywhere near as much as the first time (most likely thanks to the gas and air) but he allowed me to stay in the chair until I felt able and ready to stand up.

I will happily be seen by a male gynecologist, the only boundary I have there is that I must have either my mum or my partner with me for support and added comfort.

Anarchy99 · 11/06/2026 09:56

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 11/06/2026 09:54

Completely agree with you op. I always say it. Why of all the avenues of medicine choose gynae? It’s fucking weird.

Okay so assuming you would need, say, 1.5 female gynaes to replace each male one (due to maternity, part time working etc) then how is that going to happen?

thedramaQueen · 11/06/2026 09:55

Donotpanicoknowpanic · 10/06/2026 22:50

Your vagina is not that exciting,

The doctor would have seen thousands and he would not spend years in mediacal school taking test after test just to perv

Though you should be able to request a female if that makes you more comfortable

My favourite comment and true!!

“Your vagina is not that exciting” 😂 😂 😂

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 11/06/2026 09:54

Squirrel60 · 11/06/2026 09:49

You ARE being unreasonable. How utterly absurd and also sexist your opinion is! Yes, men SHOULD be allowed to be gynos.

What about male nurses, male doctors, male midwives?

It's like saying women shouldn't be allowed to be bricklayers or truck drivers or QE2 captains..

Just because a very tiny amount of men in those roles ''have motives'' and are pervy or whatever, it doesn't mean to say they're all like that.

As a woman myself, I'm all in favour of women's rights and letting us make up our own minds and choices about what we do with our own bodies, but what you're saying is totally ridiculous!

Edited

It’s not remotely the same. But you know that.

Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread · 11/06/2026 09:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Completely agree with you op. I always say it. Why of all the avenues of medicine choose gynae? It’s fucking weird.

AmandaHoldensLips · 11/06/2026 09:51

It's a highly lucrative speciality option. I lived next door to a OBGYN consultant and the cost of living crisis didn't even make it past his electric gates.

Squirrel60 · 11/06/2026 09:49

You ARE being unreasonable. How utterly absurd and also sexist your opinion is! Yes, men SHOULD be allowed to be gynos.

What about male nurses, male doctors, male midwives?

It's like saying women shouldn't be allowed to be bricklayers or truck drivers or QE2 captains..

Just because a very tiny amount of men in those roles ''have motives'' and are pervy or whatever, it doesn't mean to say they're all like that.

As a woman myself, I'm all in favour of women's rights and letting us make up our own minds and choices about what we do with our own bodies, but what you're saying is totally ridiculous!

Fizzybluewater · 11/06/2026 09:48

When I had severe gynae pain and could hardly walk because of it, I, personally wouldn't have cared if a trained chimp was treating me for it as long as they knew what they were doing.

Anarchy99 · 11/06/2026 09:47

And all the ‘I wonder what motivates someone to want to do the job’ is why men don’t go into teaching and nursery settings. Or admit they like children in the same way a woman would.

Then women complain that they do all the caring roles.

Seymour5 · 11/06/2026 09:47

I’ve read Adam Kay’s books, I wasn’t offended by the black humour, I can imagine those terms being used behind the scenes. Perhaps I just grew up in more resilient times,

Anarchy99 · 11/06/2026 09:46

mumuseli · 11/06/2026 09:31

I feel people are being a bit harsh on the OP. The same thoughts have crossed my mind tbh, about how out of all the body parts / medical specialisms, why would a man choose gyno in particular. Same for breast care.
I certainly don't think all these men chose that specialism for nefarious reasons, but sadly I expect there are some who have.
Is there an equivalent the other way round, eg a hospital department that's only for male urology? If so, it would be interesting to know how many female doctors specialise in that.
Historically, males have been given greater status, and even though things are changing, that idea still permeates - I can remember as a kid getting the impression from books, tv etc that nurses were women and doctors were men, ugh. So I think that helps us subconsciously 'accept' it when our gynaecologist is a man.

So perhaps ladies should stick to lady things and men stick to men things? Wow.

Can someone be a paediatrician or midwife without having children? Can someone be a geriatric nurse without being old?

tachetastic · 11/06/2026 09:41

@CaragianettE: The handmaids are out in force tonight. May the Lord open!

@CaragianettE: Adam ‘brats and twats’ Kay? That Adam Kay?

I have to say, @CaragianettE, after your quite reasoned opening post, the quality of your argument went down hill quite rapidly when people started disagreeing with you.

I agree with PPs that a person's gender should not preclude them from occupations and having many friends who are doctors they all assure me that after so many years of training they really are looking at a patient's body parts from a medical perspective with neither pleasure nor distate.

Your comments remind me of a colleague years ago who got really upset when her primary school age children had a male teacher because she "thought it was a weird job for a man to want to do". Ridiculous. That was in the 1990s and even then nobody else at work agreed with her.

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